Friend called me a Karen

[cestelee]

I was in a coffee shop with my friend and ordered a hot chocolate and some lunch. When the hot chocolate came it was very bitter and had no sugar in it at all.

It took a while (10m) to get the attention of a waitress as they were busy and I very politely told them that I think the barista made a mistake when making it and could they please remake it to be sweet too.

The waitress was very polite, and I thanked them and apologized for the inconvenience. She took the hot chocolate away. Five minutes later she came back and asked me if it were ok to just put sugar in it or if I wanted it remaking.

I knew it would be colder now and the sugar wouldn't dissolve, which is a bit icky, so I thanked her and asked if she could remake it. Waitress was very polite and the new hot chocolate when it came was perfect.

Friend called me a Karen for first sending it back, which she said is rude, and second asking them to remake it instead of putting sugar in it. She never got nasty and said it in jest but was trying to make a point.

My mum is called Karen and I really don't like that phrase. She's invited me for coffee this weekend and I don't want to go now. WIBU?

It all sounds a bit painful. You took 10 mins to talk to the waitress and then they went back and forth then remade your drink. Presumably your friend had drunk hers by then. You could've glanced up, saw it was busy , thought I don't want to delay things, put some sugar in and moved on. Not the best experience but hey ho. Maybe your friend shouldn't have made the comment but you've said you are good friends etc. Just move on and go out again unless she really is usually a pain .

I'm not complaining about being offensive, I'm complaining about sexism and misogyny. It's sometimes OK to insult people for being insulting. It's never OK to insult people for being female or middle ages.

If you don't use, defend or approve of misogynistic insults, then I'm not talking about you. If you do, then I am. Lazy and ageist misogyny is not the sign of an agile and inquiring mind.

Misogyny is bad, but even worse when done by a female.

There us no way I would tolerate that from my Ds. ESPECIALLY sexist terms from a male.

Whatever I was doing for him at that time would cease instantly until respect was restored and manners engaged.

Anyone who uses ‘Karen’ like that plummets in my estimation.

But surely hit Choc arrives ready to add whatever sugar is to your taste? Why didn’t you just add sugar straight away? I wouldn’t want it to arrive sweetened because you can’t adjust it to be less sweet.

I told my DD that it’s misogyny and she just laughed and said that it isn’t.
Very frustrating.

Haha that did make me lol ! Extend your arm !

I think you were ridiculous, you could have just asked for some sugar.
Calling you a Karen is not right, though.

Oh please don't, because then nice makers like me won't get sales! 😂 Just avoid the Cricut Huns and you should be safe...

If you have been friends for a while, go and tell her why that phrase is so offensive, and that she was misusing it anyway.

She said she was embarrassed with me sending the hot chocolate back

Is always an idiotic doormat? There is nothing wrong with politely complaining when a good or service is not supplied correctly.

No that’s nothing to do with the term “Karen”. It’s just asking for what you want in a cafe. What’s the problem? Sounds like there was no unpleasantness.

”Karen” was originally about white people (in US) behaving badly towards black people working in customer services. I’m completely behind the idea of calling that out. However, it quickly got turned into a misogynist thing of putting women in their place. I’ve even heard black women called “Karen” which is ludicrous.

for those saying milk is sweet enough with just cocoa powder... you are wrong

I haven't heard of coffee shops adding sugar, I thought you did that yourself with the sugar sachets on the table. Didn't they have any table sugar?

So put your own sugar in. Faffing on for 10 minutes for the staff to come to you to sort it would have been embarrasing. Get off your bum and take it back to the counter at least.

I do think you should have just added some sugar in the first instance rather than sending it back.

My husband drinks his h/c very sweet whereas I find his preferred version far too sweet, you can't take the sugar out so best to err on the side of caution when making it.... was there no sugar pot either on the table or available?

H/C mix usually comes prepackaged as a mix, not usually made from a plain cocoa base in house so I do find it a bit doubtful that it had no sweetness at all.

If someone is called a Karen, it's not because they are a woman standing up for themselves it's because they are being a bit of a twat. Next time Op just stick the sugar in yourself like an adult.

Not always but in this case it sounds like it.

How many people do you know called Gammon, and what sex are they?

Ah the joy of no longer giving a fuck. If I go out and pay drink prices many multiples of what I'd pay to have the same thing at home, I would like it to be made to my enjoyment.

That means no room temperature lager, no tepid 'hot chocolate' and no takeaway tea with the cup half full.

If it isn't made the way I've asked for it, I very politely ask them to remake it. They always do, no worries.

I'm a metaphorical and literal Karen, it's my name. I'm a joy to go for a drink with and nobody has used a shitey sexist insult against me yet.

@MorrisZapp OK Karen.

Oh get off the stage, you tired hack.

It wasn't extra sugar. Please read the OP again! The Barista had obviously used plain cocoa! That is very bitter indeed

@No499 Incorrect. Hot chocolate DOES contain sugar. Clearly the barista had used cocoa instead of hot chocolate. It clearly says on the cocoa box to add sugar to taste. Cocoa alone is extremely bitter

Is a gammon a male version of a Karen?