AIBU to be wondering if we should be leaving London too?

[KarokeandGin]

We currently live in east London with 3 young children in a 3 bed house. Very happy with our house and whilst the younger two share a room hopefully we will be able to afford to do a loft conversion in a few years so by 7/8 the younger two won’t have to share.

lots of our friends are leaving London and moving to Kent and Essex for the grammar system and more space. Our local secondary school is fine, nothing special but not awful.

AIBU to not really have considered if we should be leaving London too? We are happy here but I do wonder if the extra space and countryside living would benefit the DC. My main concern is moving and not being happy personally (both myself and DH grew up in London) even if it was a better life for my DC. Should I be putting their happiness and potential for a better education first?

YABU - consider going and put your children first
YANBU - continue enjoying the life you have and your children will likely do just as well

@KarokeandGin I just read your OP again. I think most people move for a reason - you don't have a reason for moving. So why move?

However I do want to point out you can have a full and happy life in other areas as well if that is your concern

What ain't broke dont mend it

There is no utopia in Surrey believe you me.

When the kids get to early teenage years, there are drugs galore and county lines. Teens robbing each other. Fighting, bullying, violence.

Mutilated cats recently.

Loads of sexual related attacks.

I also found it very suspect that a recent murder of a teen stabbing another teen to death was barely reported on. Why because it's Surrey and it doesn't fit the narrative that London is the only place that is to be deemed dangerous.

All you ever hear about is the demonisation of London.

London is a brilliant place to bring up children. It's big and busy and exciting and multicultural, and there is a ridiculous amount to do. Transport is fantastic (no need to use a car). I would only ever think of moving if I had children cramped into a 2-bed flat or some such.

Some PP have said you have to do what's best for the DC - but there's no way to know what's best for them without actually doing it. Plus one DC's paradise isn't necessarily so good for another DC - quite apart from the issue of whether or not they would all get into a grammar school. Even if they did get in, there's no guarantee they'd be happy there.

If I were you, I'd stay very firmly put.

Brighton?

No don’t move if it’s not what you want

Teen years can be good in London anyway

We had similar - loads left in the early years but I’m glad we stayed

I came across your thread by accident - we moved from your area last year! So I know it very well.

It’s been the right move for us but I think it’s very personal and wouldn’t be the right move for everyone. I do feel very nostalgic for Snaresbrook/Wanstead, it’s a lovely part of London.

We didn’t move to a grammar school area as we didn’t want the stress of the 11+. Instead we moved to an area which has a reputation for good comprehensives. When we lived in your area, we knew private school was out of reach financially so didn’t consider Bancrofts/Forest etc, and the grammars didn’t really appeal. It’s not a bad area for comprehensive schools though, I know people with kids at Wanstead and they are happy. Also the primaries are excellent, we had experience of two and thought they were both great.

I do miss the high street with all the shops and restaurants - we still talk about Provender and Filika! And the transport links are great (although I’m not a fan of the central line overall).

Ultimately we just aren’t really London people though so living somewhere quieter works for us. DH in particular also really wanted a bigger house and garden and is very happy to have it, although to be honest that was less of a consideration for me. Our kids are relatively young so have coped fine with the move.

I really don’t think there’s a right answer and even though we decided to move, I totally understand why you might want to stay. I think it’s a good area for families, personally.