AIBU to be wondering if we should be leaving London too?

[KarokeandGin]

We currently live in east London with 3 young children in a 3 bed house. Very happy with our house and whilst the younger two share a room hopefully we will be able to afford to do a loft conversion in a few years so by 7/8 the younger two won’t have to share.

lots of our friends are leaving London and moving to Kent and Essex for the grammar system and more space. Our local secondary school is fine, nothing special but not awful.

AIBU to not really have considered if we should be leaving London too? We are happy here but I do wonder if the extra space and countryside living would benefit the DC. My main concern is moving and not being happy personally (both myself and DH grew up in London) even if it was a better life for my DC. Should I be putting their happiness and potential for a better education first?

YABU - consider going and put your children first
YANBU - continue enjoying the life you have and your children will likely do just as well

We're thinking of move from the home counties back into london. It's a bit boring here!

@chopc - we got to the theatre monthly at least, and into london twice a month - we are outskirts of london so 30 mins in. My son goes to the football more often though in london and in the summer we go more frequently

@Tomorrowisalatterday how much do you pay for theater tickets if you don't mind me asking? I wait for a cheap deal to take all of us (family of 5) but even then you are talking at least £150

I guess for the other activities it depends where you live. I couldn't live rurally for the same reasons but there are other big towns out of London geared towards families - esp in the commuter belt

@Darbs76 how much do you pay for your tickets and more importantly where do you purchase your tickets from? I try today fix but good seats for popular shows are still pricey

But you have proved my point though - you live on the outskirts so are not "missing out" by not living in London

Yes I did it & it was the best thing we did. Also moved from East London but to Surrey. Great connections into London but with that countryside, calm feeling. Its so green and scenic, its so therapeutic.

However, we bought several years ago. The house prices are rocketing around here.

If I lived in Snaresbrook, I would move to Epping or Loughton. Absolutely beautiful around there but no idea of house prices. I also think its all on the central line, which takes you straight into London.

Snaresbrook is grand, and honestly it's barely East London and is edging towards Essex anyway - I would stay. I also have friends who have moved to Kent or Hertfordshire or Chingford (but from Walthamstow so different situation), and some are happy but some don't love it. The ones who are happier now are from the EU and always hated East London. If you like where you are there is no reason to leave.

They are fucking idiots if they are coming for the grammar system as there are no guarantees their kids will get to go, and they will have to spend a fortune on tutors to stand any chance. If they fail they will have to slum it with the 90-95% int he massive high schools and if they pass, the grammars shed children constantly because they can't afford to have pupils who are not going to get the requisite grades they need.

I use sites like TodayTix to get deals on theatre tickets, there's often £10 or £15 tickets if you're prepared to sit in the less popular seats. Or you've got the standing seats in the pit at the Globe for £5. And plenty of outdoor theatre in the summer, some of which is free (I love the Handlebards when they tour). But I also wouldn't take the whole family unless it was for a special occasion. Regular theatre trips just take the child who would be most interested/is free, then you're not paying 5 x tickets every time! If you go semi-regularly then none of them feel like they're missing out.

Thank you! Im ok now - I just got in with it.

Best wishes whatever you decide

We go to the theatre quite often - out of season in Feb especially and October tickets are cheaper. Galleries and museums etc more often and also events that crop up all the time here like the Lord Mayors show, car free day, other stuff that just happens. Also when the kids do a new topic at school it's insanely easy to visit something relevant like the Roman Amphitheatre or the Tower of London (free for kids with a Blue Peter Badge) or the Monument to see where the Fire started. My youngest loves going into Chinatown for duck and rice and that's an easy and cheap trip out.

Also you don't have to drive the kids everywhere because even if you don't live near a tube stop there are buses, which are free for kids.

I'm not saying everyone should want to live here - of course people should live where they like! Nobody's missing out if they don't WANT to live here, but we definitely do take advantage of lots of the things London has to offer.

We go to a variety of types of theatre - west end, off west end, some amateur - so it varies. We often go separately with friends to avoid babysitter costs. Also keep an eye out for deals.

Why would you? You're happy, you'll have room. People move out then find it impossible to move back.
Unless you have a burning desire and your jobs are portable I'd stay put.

I love London and wouldn’t leave. I have my career and friends here and value the diversity and culture and like minded left wing community feel. School wise though, am finding things tough for my DD. She is unhappy in an outstanding comp. I want to move her but have no real other options that would be better. I still wouldn’t consider moving away though. Still looking for a solution.

I would never move from my city. I couldn't be happy anywhere else.

Well, I could probably choke down my tears on a tropical island with AC and a beach view and a pool and a cleaner...

We have just moved from a two bed flat in East London to a 3 bed house in Westcliff. I think it's one of the best decisions we've ever made. It's such a better place for our DS to grow up in, though to be fair the area we lived in before was an utter shithole. We did initially try to move to a slightly nicer nearby area, but we needed more space and were ultimately priced out. I'm glad about that now.

I know life ‘in the country’ sounds ideal, but the chances are you will still live in a house, on a street, surrounded by other houses, and still get in your car to drive to country parks etc etc. You (probably) won’t live among rolling pastures where your DC’s wholesomely romp among the wildflowers. If you do, they will be terminally bored in a few years and complain that the place is a backwater and there’s never anything to do and no one to hangout with and the broadband is shit. If there is anything to do, you will have to drive them to and from it.

For the sake of just the DCs, I’d stay put. They’re past the age where a country idyll is their idyll. They want friends and activities they can independently get to, or will very soon. OTOH, they will want their own space for sure, and if moving out is the way to get it, you’ll all be happier. I wouldn’t live in London if you paid me, whatever my DD wanted, and you are a whole family. You need to consider everyone’s needs.

What about you and your DH- what are your job prospects in London, do you mind the idea of a longer and more expensive commute? We live in zone 3 and even though I can WFH 2 days a week my quality of life would be much worse if I had to commute more than my current 30 mins door to door. I'd need more childcare for a start.

And I like my City job, it couldn't be done outside London.

This

If you want space, don’t come to Essex. I have lived in rural north Essex for 40 years, but it’s becoming unbearable. It’s SO overcrowded around here. The roads are hellish, and they seem to be building new estates on every scrap of land. I had more peace and quiet when I lived in London.

If it wasn’t for family ties, I’d move to Ireland or northern Scotland - anywhere I could have some peace. Living here is making me ill. During the heatwave I had two meltdowns I was so overwhelmed by the heat and noise and traffic. I’m dreading next summer.

Margate like every other East Londoner, don’t do it!

@chopc you sound like you're talking about West End shows which can be pricey as they are touristy. There are hundreds of cheaper theatres, fringe venues and so on in London and even big places like the National, Barbican, Old Vic, Globe do cheaper tickets £12ish.

To answer your question, if someone doesn't live next to a tube they will just catch a bus, which are very frequent and cheap.

I think by activities the pp meant the variety on offer like free museums and exhibitions etc, and restaurants from all over the world of all budgets so that eating out can be more frequent / few times a week dependent on where you go and your budget of course.

I would definitely stay in Snaresbrook! You've got plenty of good secondary schools nearby and are in the catchment area for both grammar schools. I live fairly close to you and have a child at each of them.

Stay. Live in the shires isn’t as cracked up as some people say on here

Everyone saying happily you are sticking to London for the teen years.. is that because you can afford a house (or you bought one when costs were lower) and you aren’t living in a small London flat?

Or if you are in a small flat, how does that work space-wise with your teens when they want to have their teen mates over and/or you want to have your adult mates over to your flat?

Last time I looked Globe theatre did £5 tickets if you’re happy to stand and watch