Anyone else going to jail?

[NeversmileataCrocodile]

Never usually answer a call from an unknown number but I just did: it was a recorded message with lots of terms you never want to hear, HMRC, jail term, prosecution, I did panic a bit and pressed one to hear more, better make sure I suppose. A nice lady from "Her Majesty's Revenue and Custom' asked for my full name so she could check my file, I said she should know it since they called me, the line went dead. I'm not going to jail am I? Anyone else?

You are going to be arrested for bigamy unless you pay the fine of a gazillionty pounds. I am the Official and Certified Bigamy Fine Collector. Immediate payment ensures your freedom to bigamise any future husbands.

Legend!!

Fortunately I have a 'Get out of Jail Free' card plus it's my birthday and so everyone must pay me £10.
Oh joy!!!!

I had one of those calls. I thanked the caller for the heads up and said I was just going to leg it before the police got here. I said I was going to drop out of society and live as a soldier of fortune, the man told me to fuck off 🤣

I'm under investigation by HMRC for tax fraud AND the French Gendarmes for voyeurism and child pornography! Luckily both will let me off if I pay a fine and even better, as I don't have enough they'll let me pay in instalments!

I am! Maybe we can be cell mates? These calls drive me up the wall, I've had two this week.

Oh yes, the HMRC are always calling me from a mobile number (as they do) I'm a very wanted woman.

Now which one of you is going to be my Prison Bitch?

@Ryder68 Fair enough I know I can't hide from the law no more.

Yes! The HMRC rung me with a recorded message a couple of days ago, something about a warrant for my arrest having been issued for unpaid tax. Please send cake with file baked inside, sounds like I am going to need it soon.

Allegedly, I've been videoed whilst watching porn on my (work) laptop, if I don't pay the footage will be sent to everyone in my email address book. The horror!
I told them whatever floats their boat and to crack on. They hung up.

I told them to come and get me, sounded like a nice break from work and family life. They hung up.

Life really is a roller coaster. This morning I was going to jail and now I'm snorting with laughter.
Thank you everyone!

Haha, I get that one regularly. See you there, maybe we’ll be sharing a cell. I wonder if it’ll be more like Bad Girls or Orange is the New Black 😆

I've been threatened with arrest warrants like this at least 3 times !! I did tell them that in these straightened times , they could just save their fuel and arrest me when I got to work .... at the police station .

It's odd , they don't stay on the line after that .

There's a scam text message doing the rounds from GOVUK about the energy payment. I tend to work on the principle that it's always a scam when I get something unexpected though it did once nearly cost me a freebie weekend in Berlin!

Yep about 10 times over!

I once asked a scam caller if he could ring me back on my work number. He agreed.

I gave him the number of the ActionFraud hotline...!

@UnderCoverFieldAgent If I go down I quite fancy a tear tattoo, so you might want to steer clear of me?

I frequently get the roof insulation one, stating that according to the national database my insulation isn't deep enough. I'm amazed its even listed on it since we did it ourselves 🙄

Just a warning though. At one point pressing a button to be passed over to a human being could put you on a premium rate. Check your phone bill, especially if you are PAYG.

Oh I love those calls.
I say hello, put the speaker on,then put the phone down gently and carry on with what I was doing.
The ever increasing "hello? Hello? HELLO??s" always make me smile 😂

I think I've had some emails saying I'm going to jail. They haven't come for me yet.

There's a wonderful video somewhere on line of a deputy sheriff in the US taking one of these calls and she just about manages to keep a straight face.

I'm always on the verge of imminent arrest 🤣 wish they'd hurry up - I could do with a good kip. Bagsie working in the prison gym!

Yes and my 12 year old daughter for not paying her income tax apparently.

@Pixiedust1234 nothing so far online but yes I expect that will cost me something 🙁