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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

be honest, if you and partner/dh were offered 5 million each to seperate...

338 replies

cutthelawn · 05/10/2022 21:35

Basically you can have all the custody of the kids if you want but you must separate permanently from your oh and you are both given 5 million each to start again would you do it>?

OP posts:
UserNameNameNameUser · 05/10/2022 21:56

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 05/10/2022 21:54

Have you been offered this by the inlaws?? 🤣

😂😂😂

WTAFSomedays · 05/10/2022 21:56

I’m thinking…

belimoo · 05/10/2022 21:57

Nope but he probably would. He cares a lot more about money than I do (despite being much richer than me).

MarshaBradyo · 05/10/2022 21:57

No

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 05/10/2022 21:57

Yes! I'm married, but separated. Haven't seen him for ages now. Have a lovely boyfriend. So I'll take your money, get divorced and still have a lovely boyfriend. Win win! Grin

cutthelawn · 05/10/2022 21:59

Yes! I'm married, but separated. Haven't seen him for ages now. Have a lovely boyfriend. So I'll take your money, get divorced and still have a lovely boyfriend. Win win

which is why I said partner/dh so you can't bend the rules when I have covered myself

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/10/2022 22:00

are you really skint though? I find that people who say that don't understand true poverty.

But if we take that to its logical conclusion, are we not saying that the very poorest people in the world should be expected to forego love, family, friendship, dignity, self-worth and whatever other basic human experiences they could have and toss them all aside as they are, first and foremost, poor people; and the only thing that matters in their lives must be to have more money?

I'm not for one moment suggesting that this is your own viewpoint, but doesn't that kind of reasoning sort of lead us to believing that women and girls in poor countries who are forced into prostitution in order to feed their kids are actually being empowered by the generous (often foreign western) men who are helping them to achieve 'the only worthy goal'?

Sorry for the overthinking - don't mean to bring down a lighthearted thread!

Shitfather · 05/10/2022 22:00

I absolutely would! There would always be hope that I’d meet someone else around the globe.

Changednamesorry · 05/10/2022 22:01

Definitely not.

HerRoyalNotness · 05/10/2022 22:02

Yep. Id do it for a lot less 😂

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 05/10/2022 22:03

cutthelawn · 05/10/2022 21:59

Yes! I'm married, but separated. Haven't seen him for ages now. Have a lovely boyfriend. So I'll take your money, get divorced and still have a lovely boyfriend. Win win

which is why I said partner/dh so you can't bend the rules when I have covered myself

But I have a DH! Ok, he's not very D (unless it stands for Dickhead) but he's still my H.

And according to Mumsnet I can't call my boyfriend my partner as we don't live together. Although as we're old I probably shouldn't say boyfriend either. So, some bloke i shag. Gentleman friend. Whatever. Just not partner. Wink

So give me the money already!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/10/2022 22:04

fgs it's hypothetical, can you chill out please and stop over analyzing it

Sorry, you'll want to ignore my last reply that x-posted with yours, then!

I'll bow out, but surely you also have to consider the negatives of the (albeit entirely hypothetical) ethical choice - otherwise it just becomes 'Dilemma: would you like to be given £5m?' !

MRex · 05/10/2022 22:05

If we live another 50 years each that's say £277/day each or £554/day. Can we pro rata and just take a week off every now and then? Otherwise no, DS would hate it and I can't see it being fun for us either, I feel like it would be just very sad and lonely all the time. I don't see how we would be kept apart anyway, we have DS.

KensingtonStation · 05/10/2022 22:05

No. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said yes because we were not in a great place. Then H walked out, my life has fallen apart. I miss him every minute of every day and would give £5M for him to wake up and come home.

NiqueNique · 05/10/2022 22:06

No I wouldn’t do it.

SirenSays · 05/10/2022 22:06

It would solve all our problems. I think I'd try to convince him to take it but I don't think either of us would ever get over it.

cutthelawn · 05/10/2022 22:06

*But if we take that to its logical conclusion, are we not saying that the very poorest people in the world should be expected to forego love, family, friendship, dignity, self-worth and whatever other basic human experiences they could have and toss them all aside as they are, first and foremost, poor people; and the only thing that matters in their lives must be to have more money?

I'm not for one moment suggesting that this is your own viewpoint, but doesn't that kind of reasoning sort of lead us to believing that women and girls in poor countries who are forced into prostitution in order to feed their kids are actually being empowered by the generous (often foreign western) men who are helping them to achieve 'the only worthy goal*

i am not married, am single and currently unemployed due to illness and have never experienced poverty. I am not rich by any means, far from it, but I think yes from, reading mn that real poverty does kill love fast and makes one's like completely terrible in ways I can't truly grasp. The gender is irrelevant here. I am saying that yes the poorest people would run towards money,well many of them, because it is their only escape from the hell that is poverty. If you can't afford to eat or can't afford to feed your kids then yes money will take priority naturally.

OP posts:
SallyWD · 05/10/2022 22:07

No way! People are so much more important than money. What would I do with the money? Buy things. I don't need or want more things.

autienotnaughty · 05/10/2022 22:08

Absolutely it's a no brainier. The only people I wouldn't be separated from are my kids.

muchprefersummer · 05/10/2022 22:08

No, love my DH, he's the only person I ever want to tell my deepest problems and worries to. He gives me the confidence to do stuff I've never done before and he's there if I fall - I wouldn't ever want to give that up.

CbCV · 05/10/2022 22:08

Nope definitely not.

DottyLittleRainbow · 05/10/2022 22:10

No, never. Not for any number. Would rather be broke and together!

mast0650 · 05/10/2022 22:11

No. Got more than enough money to be happy. Why mess up my life?

FallopianTubeTrain · 05/10/2022 22:11

Surprisingly, no. Surprising because I assumed I was more mercenary than that but I think I'd drive myself mad thinking about him and no amount of money could distract me. I'd miss him and I'd miss seeing him be a dad to DD.

DismantledKing · 05/10/2022 22:11

No