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AIBU?

About what I feed my child

262 replies

Sunshineonacloud · 04/10/2022 16:24

So at a recent 2 year olds party I noticed other kids eating and drinking stuff that my dc doesn't. I've noticed it a lot on playdates recently too..

My dc is 2.5 years old. We just give him milk and water to drink and veg puffs lentil chips and baby oat bars as snacks lots of fruit and veg. Occasionally chips or a slice of margarita pizza. The odd mini milk or lick or bite of our ice cream.

I've noticed children same age snacking on walkers crisps, drinking strong ribena, eating cupcakes, grown up biscuits like bourbons and nice's, midget gems etc.

I've also noticed my 2 year old being offered sugary biscuits and mini Cheddar at playgroups and when I decline I can tell people think I'm snooty. I'm not, I just thought I was supposed to follow guidelines. I'm a first time mum so enlighten me.. do most people let their kids eat whatever? Tbh it would make my life a lot easier 😂

OP posts:
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JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 04/10/2022 17:53

With Dc1 I was like this. She’s 18 now and a really fussy eater. I relaxed a lot with DC2,3 and 4.
DC 2 eats most things, DC3 eats EVERYTHING and then some. DC4 is fussier than his sister.
My point is what you feed them as a baby has no bearing on what they eat when they get older.

But yes, relax. A mini cheddar won’t kill your child.

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kateandme · 04/10/2022 17:54

I was the child that just drank milk by the gallon though.

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ilovebagpuss · 04/10/2022 18:01

@Whattheactualfcku I read the start of your comment as "now that he is 41'
I've really made myself laugh.
I was going to add that just because the toddlers are scoffing all the junk at parties doesn't mean they have the biscuits and Ribena every day at home.
It's great to reduce sugary, salty snacks and drinks of course but I always felt sorry for the water and milk kids at parties.
Why don't you relax the choices at those sort of events but keep your healthier options for everyday.
I don't think the mini cheddars are a lot worse than all the branded oat bars and organix puffs, they often have hidden salts and sugar.

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Idyllicidealist · 04/10/2022 18:02

Unless you can afford a private dentist i would not give sugary drinks and sweet snacks only after a meal.

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vodkaredbullgirl · 04/10/2022 18:06

Biscuit Biscuit
1
!_!

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FlorettaB · 04/10/2022 18:07

Giving them biscuits and crisps and thinking you’re better than other parents giving their children biscuits and crisps because you’re buying ‘veg puffs lentil chips’ and ‘baby oat bars’. Can anyone be that dense?

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vodkaredbullgirl · 04/10/2022 18:07

vodkaredbullgirl · 04/10/2022 18:06

Biscuit Biscuit
1
!_!

Didn't work

Feed your kid whatever.

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gretr · 04/10/2022 18:10

I think you’re seeing an odd snapshot as you’re witnessing this behaviour at parties. For most children, that would be a ‘treat’ situation and not what they’d eat everyday. I’d let my child have a bit of cake or ice cream at a party, but definitely wouldn’t do it everyday.

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HailAdrian · 04/10/2022 18:11

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 04/10/2022 16:26

Lol

^^

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Preggopreggo · 04/10/2022 18:12

How does your 2.5 year old let you get away with only allowing him a lick of ice cream? 🤯 It’s great that you’re keeping him away from masses of sugar etc, I don’t think they can miss it if they don’t know about it. But they know something like ice cream exists/see junk food at parties, but you restrict it by not allowing or only allowing them rare tiny tastes you put it on a pedestal and risk them fetishising it.

The Division of Responsibility approach is great and evidence based. To develop a healthy relationship with food they need to feel that all food is neutral and tune into their own intuition by having more unrestricted access (not totally unrestricted - you choose which foods to offer and when, they choose how much they want to eat).

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Jackiebrambles · 04/10/2022 18:12

I remember noticing at the first kid's parties I held, that the kids who weren't usually allowed any treats just would not leave the party food table alone. Honestly, they just kept coming back and back. Didn't engage in the party - weren't even bothered about the bouncy castle /soft play. Only the crisps and biscuits! Grin

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LivingMyBestLie · 04/10/2022 18:15

You're clearly a superior parent... 🙃

Chances are, yours is a first born, others aren't. It makes a huge difference to your approach.

My first born ate like a saint. By second born wanted anything my first born had and would scream bloody murder for it.

I'd suggest just not worrying about what other people do.

It's the same argument as breastfeeding Vs formula. You really can't tell when the kids grow up so it isn't worth debating over. Just do what YOU want and let others do what they want.

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Preggopreggo · 04/10/2022 18:15

You are definitely doing the right thing especially with salt like mini cheddars, and with the juice, once you cross that boundary they will hound you for it.

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Sewaccidentprone · 04/10/2022 18:18

Ds2 who is now an adult still mainly drinks water and milk. Maybe one cup of tea a day. He doesn’t like sweet or fizzy drinks either, which is a problem with alcohol - think dry cider is what he normally drinks.

just do your own thing - I did and yeah, my sons eat more healthily than all their friends - loads of fruit and veg, whole grains and protein with the occasional chocolate. Though they both love cheesecake, but again that’s a treat.

depends on how bothered you are by others attitudes. Tbh I couldn’t give a stuff when mine were growing up. Ds1 has no fillings and ds2 only has 1 (where he kept missing a bit because of his brace).

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Fundays12 · 04/10/2022 18:20

With my oldest I was like that. Omg he is such a fussy eater now I very much regret it. My middle and youngest I was much less strict and they are the least fussy eaters you will meet. They will try everything and anything which is pretty much what they learned to do at a very young age. DS1 is so fussy it's ridiculous.

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GSat · 04/10/2022 18:23

LivingMyBestLie · 04/10/2022 18:15

You're clearly a superior parent... 🙃

Chances are, yours is a first born, others aren't. It makes a huge difference to your approach.

My first born ate like a saint. By second born wanted anything my first born had and would scream bloody murder for it.

I'd suggest just not worrying about what other people do.

It's the same argument as breastfeeding Vs formula. You really can't tell when the kids grow up so it isn't worth debating over. Just do what YOU want and let others do what they want.

Feeding junk food vs healthy food is million miles away from breast vs formula feeding. I kind of get what you are trying to say here but this was a very bad example. We should not be promoting little children eating sweet and salty crap. Of course it won't make much of a difference if they have it occasionally but letting them get used to it is an entirely different story.

Superiority or not, making healthy food choices for our children should be a priority. Their health is our responsibility as parents.

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CaptainBarbosa · 04/10/2022 18:25

Mine ate some strawberry truffle at his first birthday 😳

By 2 the kid was having the odd biscuit, ice cream or cake as a treat 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's a healthy active 8 year old, his favourite food is smoked salmon.

You can loosen the reins a bit OP he will survive 🤣

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funrunning · 04/10/2022 18:25

You’re doing the right thing OP in being mindful of what they eat. The majority of parents at the play groups we went to were the same. Given the obesity problem with children in the UK, we can be pretty confident that all of these parents aren’t otherwise feeding their kids a balanced diet. Unhealthy habits in children continue into adulthood and then people care. It is not snobby to think about what your child is eating especially when they are only 2.

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VioletInsolence · 04/10/2022 18:26

I’d keep your child’s diet as healthy as possible for as long as possible because it will only ever go downhill (same with screen time). I’d definitely stick to milk and water. My seventeen year old DS still only drinks milk and water! Not because I don’t allow anything else - that’s all he likes.

I don’t know why there’s so much sneering from people about this….maybe if more parents were careful we wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic.

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Bpdqueen · 04/10/2022 18:27

Good lord woman give your kid some wotsits a biscuit and some squash and put them infront of peppa pig like the rest of us

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Choconut · 04/10/2022 18:29

Just looked up Organix baby oat bars and they're 25% sugar (even if it is 'natural' and not added sugar, it's still sugar, they just get it from a different source). So really might as well have a bourbon. Always worth checking the ingredients and nutritional info.

I wouldn't give whole packets of crisps though the salt and fat content is awful. Also definitely stick to water and milk - why add other crap to it if they're not bothered? Even if it's sugar free then it's full of artificial sweetners.

I'd allow whatever at playgroup/birthday parties/special days out etc but keep it healthy at home as much as possible - I find that's a good balance.

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ClocksGoingBackwards · 04/10/2022 18:29

The odd biscuit or cupcake is fine as a treat at 2 years old, but I will never understand why parents regularly give small children ribena or squash or have a constant supply of crisps in the house. It’s just setting them up to have bad habits in adulthood.

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CanaryShoulderedThorn · 04/10/2022 18:29

2 is still tiny, TBH mine were only having milk or water at that age. At parties, I might have served weak cordial but for food I tried to serve healthier things like breadsticks, dips, sandwiches and fruit/veg. As did most of my friends.

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OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide · 04/10/2022 18:31

Skinnermarink · 04/10/2022 16:28

’baby oat bars’ are really no better than a big standard biscuit, just more expensive. You just feed gimmicks.

Ribena has no sugar in it anymore 🤣

Just a teaspoon per serving. 🙄

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Squashpocket · 04/10/2022 18:31

I do understand OP, this happened to me with my first. Before having children I had been an adult for a really long time and had stopped buying crisps, sweets and chocolates. I'm mostly sedentary so I simply don't eat snacks outside breakfast, lunch and dinner, just don't have the appetite for it.

So for about 15 years the house had been snack free and it didn't occur to me to buy them for my 2 year old - as far as I was concerned he was still a baby (obviously hadn't spotted how big he was 🙄).

One day I took my 2 year old to a play date with a mum with an older child and she'd bought all the kids a kinder egg. Mind blown. Literally hadn't occurred to me that a two year old would/could eat chocolate.

My second child was raised on trifle and haribo.

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