To be disgusted by friends salary?

[Emeraldi]

I’ve spent the past week staying at a good friends dog-sitting whilst her and her partner are away on holiday. I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else, which set out her salary package. I wish I hadn’t, as I was absolutely shocked to see that she is earning very close to 6 figures and I can’t get it off my mind.

I had no idea she was earning a salary like this, we are both just under 30, she never went to uni whereas I did and I’m not even earning half of her salary and up to my eyeballs in student debt. Naturally I thought I was the higher earner of the two and have always been generous to help her out, such as cheap dog sitting when she’s away, buying her a drink when we’ve gone out etc.

She’s always been very money conscious so I had no reason to believe otherwise. This time she’s even left me a list of “house rules” during my stay about turning off all electrical items at the mains after use and keeping the heating at a set level to reduce heating costs.

It’s clear that she’s been using me to dog sit as she is no doubt paying me far less than she would pay for boarding at a kennels and I think of all the other times I’ve let her off financially for things in the past, like rounds of drinks or when I’ve brought dinner round. AIBU to feel used and to want to get my money back? Not sure how best to approach this. TIA

She probably thought you were offering to do things like dog sit for her because you are her friend. I do things for my friends and don't begrudge the money. Everything doesn't have to be measured in monetary terms you know. Also, don't snoop around in people's houses, what a horrible thing to do.

"Get my money back".
😂😂😂

Give over! What money? You did her a favour at mates rates... Because, well you know, she's your mate! Or do you only deem those financially worse of than you worthy of mate status?

You made an assumption and your own sheer nosiness proved that assumption to be wrong. You don't get to play the victim after discovering reality doesn't align with your perception.

I didn’t go to uni. My first job was sales in a high street shop. I’m 39 this week, been earning a 6 figure salary since I was 32. Uni isn’t high and mighty

Letting you pay and getting huge expensive favours off you when she’s very well off and you aren’t isn’t friendship.

Jealousy is not a good trait. Nor is nosiness. She'd be better off without you as a "friend".

I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else,

Well OP, keep your sticky beak out of her drawers and you won't find stuff you don't need to see.

You have been made a bit of a fool of, but I think you brought it on yourself for making the wrong assumptions.

The fuck was your snooping accidental 🤣

She’s allowed to be cozy conscious and good with money despite earning well. She’s allowed to get cheap dog sitting from a friend because who doesn’t love a bargain?
She’s allowed to accept drinks from said friends.

Was she manipulating you? From your attitude I’d say it was more likely you were enjoying playing Lady Bountiful to the failure friend who didn’t go to uni - well you got that wrong 🤣

@ncncncnc123
shes using her as she just said, letting her buy drinks, dog sitting, she is a tight arse so stop defending someone , id be horrified too. I hate meaness, most people do.

So your own snobbery makes you think she's less well off? She's careful with money, nothing wrong with that and I imagine she took up your offer to dogsit because you are a friend and someone she trusts to look after her home and her dog. Would you have even accepted money if she offered it?

Isn’t it quite normal for friends to dog-sit for each other if they are able, willing and that way inclined? How does one’s salary have any bearing on it? I don’t think people consider paying for kennels as a step-up, most are happier to have familiar territory and a known face for their pet.

Anyway, stop snooping in people’s drawers. It never ends well.

I think it speaks volumes about your friend that you did not know she was earning close to 6 figures, clearly humble and no braggy.

Sounds like you have some issues, not your friend.

It's ridiculous to assume someone who didn't go to uni earns less than someone who did. I have two close friends- friend A didn't go to uni, earns 90k a year. Friend B did go to uni and earns 75k.

Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups. She owes you nothing. You're doing a favour for a friend.

So you only wanted to help her out when she was your 'poor uneducated' friend, but now it turns out she is actually doing better than you you want to demand your money back?

Wow, who knew pay-per-friendship was a thing?!

I feel sorry for the next 'poor uneducated' person you decide to patronise with your friendship.

@Hanleys i dont think she sounds bitter at all, sounds more horrified at the thought of being taken for a fool.

This OP - you shouldn’t have read it.

Your nose is put out of joint because you felt superior in the relationship with your 'university education' and now you've found out she has achieved far more than you are ever likely to in terms of salary.
Maybe she knows what a shit salary you are on and thinks she's doing you a favour paying you extra money to house sit

Why should she earn less than you just because she didn't go to uni, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Do you want to tell me your salary so that I can check that I am on less than you, and of course, if not, I'll be sure to tell my employer to lower it asap as we can't have those non-uni reprobates earning decent wages now then can we!!!

So what exactly were you looking for? Snooping more like on the pretext of looking for something! Some friend you are

I bet she left the offer letter out on purpose so you'd stop patronising her or assuming superiority.

YOUR assumptions
YOUR nosiness
YOUR jealous

HER salary

It's none of your business. If a trusted friend stopped around my house, was jealous of me and even attempted this, I would be vivid.

There's no way anyone thinks this is even remotely reasonable. Goadster.

What?

Friends buy each other drinks. I have never thought about wether my friends earn less or more. I will bring dinner or buy a drink regardless.

I have never assumed a friend offering to bring dinner round because they think I am skint.

and what expensive favour. Op is being paid to dog sit. How is that expensive for the Op?