To question my DH about the bizarre items ive found?

[NameChangeHoney]

I've been away for work, I have come back to find items that certainly aren't mine, some quite bizarre things. A top, pink nail clippers, womens razor, small makeup pallete, all things that don't belong to me. My DD had also said to me on face time when I was away that DH was talking to a lady in the shower on the phone (she is only 5) so I didn't question her I just left it.
He also keeps checking my phone when I'm not in the room which is adding to my suspicion as that isnt normal behaviour for him.
I feel a bit silly really, it's a few random items but I know they do not belong to me and i feel like hes being weird. I'm not sure now if I'm over thinking or if I should genuinely ask him who the fuck the pink nail clippers belong to 😳😂AIBU to ask or am I being a twat? How do I go forward with this? Any help greatly appreciated.

Have you done the nonchalant "Oh, what are you still doing here, I thought I told you to leave?"

And I think he's the lunatic, shagging his BOTS in your house, when your DCs are under the same roof, and expecting you not to suspect. What an utter twat.

I'd head upstairs with a pair of scissors and threaten his clothes with them. If he does not leave immediately, you'll start cutting.
Give him 10 seconds to move, if he does not, then start cutting. most expensive stuff first.
Repeat with each item until it sinks in that he has to go.

Maybe add in that once you're done with his clothes and is hes still here you'll starting on his gadgets/car/tools/watches/whatever he values the most (as it obviously isn't his family).

Then once he is gone, order yourself a take away and another bottle of wine and cry as loud and as long as you like. (or smash his car/gadgets/tools etc anyway)

Tell him you'll consider staying in the relationship if he'll start by ringing his Mum now, in front of you, and tell her exactly how much of a cheating cunt he has been and that he has totally fucked up.

Then when the call has ended say you've considered as promised but the answer is still No Now Fuck Off.

What a shit time for you op 💐 shag her man.
And both his parents.

What a shock OP. Seems like she left those things for you to find deliberately. One item you could excuse but leaving numerous stuff in full view!!!
You appear to have your head screwed on well.
Defo tell her DH.
Empty the joint account. Tell family/friends so you have support plus it's harder to back down once everyone knows.

She left that stuff lay around so you'd find it OP. And leaving her top in your drawer. That's not accidental. She's a nasty vindictive piece of work and will chew up and spit your "D"H out in a second.

You should ask her does she like sniffing other women's knickers, or just yours, as you can think of no other reason why she'd leave her clothes in your drawer?

Play this to him;he might get the hint

Am I right in thinking he had the woman there whilst your children were there too?

I know you meant marital but I’m enjoying the typo

Does he think he has a good excuse or something?

I’m sorry. I went through this (stuff left in his car for me to find, kids saying they’ve been to see daddy’s friend Julie) 21 years ago and it was awful for me and for the children, but we’re all much happier now.

Well, I am and the kids are, I don’t give a shit about whether my ex is.

Don't do this, you can be prosecuted if he's sad enough to report.

Tell him you don't want to hear it! If you wanted to listen to an arsehole, you'd fart.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 best idea yet

OW has clearly had a smug agenda — adding you on FB to unsettle you, staying over for a shagfest in your house, and deviously planting her items. She’s clearly a nasty piece of work.

But your H. His slimy, nefarious agenda was the worst. Playing Mr. Devoted Family Man while having this sordid affair and sneaking OW into your safe place. He was happy to make a mockery of you and your little children. These were his destructive choices. He trashed his family for some cheap thrills.

Honey, I wouldn’t engage with him or entertain his pathetic, manipulative ramblings. Tell him to leave right now.

Add on his boss, get the fucker fired

This 👆👏

Chuck his stuff out the window if he doesn't hurry up. What a bastard he is. Hope you're okay OP (((hugs))) been here many years ago although wasn't married and I didn't have kids and know how soul destroying this is. Deffo order yourself a takeaway, get a girl friend of yours round and have a good chat and cry if you need to. He can go crawl under a rock.

Who brings nail clippers to the house of someone they're shagging? Even if it was to plant to get him rumbled you'd go for knickers surely? Weird.

Anyway I'm so sorry this is happening but it sounds like you're not letting him bluster his way out of this so well done. Make sure you get real life support as it might hit you once the initial adrenaline wears off.

I've called him a taxi. He has half hour before he is removed. My friends coming over for a chat and wine. Thanks for all your kind words and for making me laugh at this shit time. Dds are all good, my sister is keeping them for a few nights whilst I sort things out.

Better than cutting his clothes into 2" strips and shitting in his shoes.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Shitting in his shoes, nearly choked on my coffee reading that.

I'm sorry, OP.

Sorry officer mumsnet told me to do it 😂

I'm sorry OP but Holy fuck if I am ever in your situation you are the woman I aspire to be. Calm, consise and got shit done without dithering. I'm sure it'll all hit and you'll be an emotional wreak at some point but getting through today with a strong front is what you need. Enjoy the wine and let the trash take itself out.

Are you going to tell her boyfriend, OP?

Perhaps he'll find out when Op's husband turns up looking for somewhere to stay!