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AIBU?

Dh living with women...

144 replies

Macbeth8 · 02/10/2022 15:31

dh had taken new job which requires him to work away elsewhere for 3-4 nights so has had to rent accommodation to make it as cheap as possible

Basically he has found out today there is two women living in this houseshare and 2 men!
I just feel a bit miffed at this.
Hes put me in a really uncomfortable situation. How would you feel if your dh did this?
Its silly but I just keep thinking living with 2 other women who I have no idea what theyre like etc is just strange.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 02/10/2022 15:31

No different to being in a hotel with female work mates.

Goldencarp · 02/10/2022 15:33

It wouldn’t bother me to be honest. It’s all about trust I suppose.

InCheesusWeTrust · 02/10/2022 15:33

Well there is also 2 men living there so... Meh

Macbeth8 · 02/10/2022 15:33

KangarooKenny · 02/10/2022 15:31

No different to being in a hotel with female work mates.

Really? I dont see that as the same thing...they will be sharing a bathroom, kitchen and living room. Meaning on some evenings watching TV together, possibly cooking together etc.
I just couldnt do it. Almost seems like going back to Uni days.

OP posts:
NorthStarRising · 02/10/2022 15:35

Student house shares work like this, but oddly enough, those in committed relationships seem to happily avoid orgies with people who aren’t their partners.
Despite the fact that they are young, away from home and alcohol may be present. Postgrad shared housing works the same way.
If you can’t trust him, that’s a different question.

Nimo12 · 02/10/2022 15:35

Don't you trust him? What's the problem?

Macbeth8 · 02/10/2022 15:36

Its not just trust. Its a weird dituation for me when we've lived together for years with 3 dc. I guess itll be an adjustment.

OP posts:
Arnaquer · 02/10/2022 15:37

NorthStarRising · 02/10/2022 15:35

Student house shares work like this, but oddly enough, those in committed relationships seem to happily avoid orgies with people who aren’t their partners.
Despite the fact that they are young, away from home and alcohol may be present. Postgrad shared housing works the same way.
If you can’t trust him, that’s a different question.

This really. I work in a male dominated sector and have gone on regular overnight trips and courses with male colleagues. Never been an issue .

Macbeth8 · 02/10/2022 15:37

The main guy/landlord isnt young. He is the same age as dh apparently..not sure about the women yet. But guess itll be even more odd if theyre similar ages as well!

OP posts:
Octomore · 02/10/2022 15:38

Why is it different to if he house shared with 4 men?

People who work away from home have ample opportunity to cheat, regardless of the accommodation arrangements. You either trust him or you don't - the houseshare changes nothing.

PanicAtTheBigTesco · 02/10/2022 15:43

Up until this time last year my DP (long distance) was living in a house share, house mates came and went many of which were women and I never had an issue with it.

weekendninja · 02/10/2022 15:47

I don't see any problem with this.

You clearly don't trust him OP so I guess there are further issues than this that need to be addressed.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/10/2022 15:48

Far easier to cheat if you are living on your own or in a hotel room. I imagine it will feel equally weird for him suddenly sharing with strangers when he is used to being able to wander around in his under crackers picking his nose or scratching his arse.

NorthStarRising · 02/10/2022 15:48

Question is, what’s your marriage like?
I’d trust my OH in that situation, and have done. Likewise, when he met me, I was living in a share with four men and no women. His place was mixed. Since then, we’ve had a selection of jobs and housing arrangements that gave us ample opportunities to be unfaithful, but neither of us was tempted.
If your relationship isn’t secure, he could have an affair any time any place anywhere.

WagathaChristieMystery · 02/10/2022 15:48

If you’re uncomfortable with this, can you ask your DH if he can find a studio flat to rent whilst he works away or a B&B? What are you worried about exactly, with DH moving into this house-share?

It’s interesting you mention it, because I’m in a very similar situation, where I’m a lodger in a house-share with another woman, the landlord (who’s a man) and another man who lives with us 3-4 nights a week midweek whilst he’s working away, and it all works quite well between us. We don’t tend to all see each other very often, but we sometimes have ‘house dinners’ altogether when we’re free.

Octomore · 02/10/2022 15:49

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/10/2022 15:48

Far easier to cheat if you are living on your own or in a hotel room. I imagine it will feel equally weird for him suddenly sharing with strangers when he is used to being able to wander around in his under crackers picking his nose or scratching his arse.

This implies OP has very low standards in her house! DH most certainly does not wander round in his underwear scratching his arse at home.

StoneofDestiny · 02/10/2022 15:50

Can't imagine what the problem is unless your DH cannot be trusted and you imagine all women want to jump on all men!

BaronessBomburst · 02/10/2022 15:50

DH used to lodge Monday to Thursday. His landlady was a single women and her two kids. I never thought anything of it.

ichimedin · 02/10/2022 15:50

Don’t be ridiculous

Testina · 02/10/2022 15:50

He’s splitting his life, putting up with a house share (often shit), not seeing his kids… for the financial well-being of your family unit - and you’re mithering because you think he’ll have sex with one or both women, right?

I actually would find it strange that my husband had two lives - and I’ve been the one working away. I’d understand a post about anticipating problems and how to pre-empt and deal with those.

But this is just about sharing with women.

I’ve had 2 husbands. One would have fucked them both, the other would have changed house share at any sign one might make a move on him. Which type of husband is yours?

CheezePleeze · 02/10/2022 15:51

This really wouldn't bother me.

If my DH was going to cheat, he wouldn't have to move in with some random women he's never met before, in order to do it.

FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 02/10/2022 15:52

You clearly don't trust him.

TwoWrightFeet · 02/10/2022 15:52

I’m clutching my perils as the thought of it. Two women living unsupervised with access to a man. They will be positively hysterical!!!!

InCheesusWeTrust · 02/10/2022 15:53

TwoWrightFeet · 02/10/2022 15:52

I’m clutching my perils as the thought of it. Two women living unsupervised with access to a man. They will be positively hysterical!!!!

😂
All that uncontrolled hussies. Tsk

madasawethen · 02/10/2022 15:54

I wouldn't care. It's a share house. I've shared plenty of times with students, fifo workers, etc.
People mostly stayed in their rooms and said hello and goodbye.

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