To find this an invasion of privacy in my own home = or am i being dramatic

[FirestarterJackie]

Morning all

Family visiting yesterday including SIL and 6 year old niece.
SIL accompanies niece to toilet, although no idea why at 6 years old

In my bathroom I have a cupboard which I keep a cosmetics bag which contains my haemorrhoid pills and suppositories

SIL comes down and announces to the whole room that she has had to tell her six year old what a suppository is - so the obvious WHY was asked, and her response was 'oh DD wanted to look in your bathroom cabinet and in your cosmetics bags'

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, I was mortified

Who goes into someone elses bathroom and starts opening cupboards and then starts opening sealed cosmetic bags that are inside

I feel super pissed about this, not only the fact she checked, but then she brazenly came downstairs and basically announced to the whole gathering what was in my bathroom.

I still feel mortified

I would be having a short, sharp word about that. Just totally rude.

Did no one else tell her not to be so fucking rude?

That’s a massive invasion of privacy. SIL and your niece need a lesson on boundaries.

That is massively overstepping the boundaries

They were massively unreasonable. I’d be so pissed off.

I would of told her immediately how rude, next time you visit her house you'll raid her cupboards too see how she likes it.

How rude!
id have responded with “do you always allow your child to rummage around in other peoples private belongings?”

Is she normally so tactless?

Oh wow, totally out of order on their part.
What does this teach the child about boundaries?!

Is she usually a bit of a dick who tried to put others down to make herself feel good? This smacks of that kind of childish high school bullying behaviour!

As an aside, try and remember you have nothing to be embarrassed about, you have a specific medical need, she has no boundaries and is exceptionally rude in this instance. If I were her audience i woiod only be feeling that one of you came off badly from that revelation, and it wouldn't be you!!

Very, very rude to go through someone's personal things. I would have been embarrassed and angry if a guest in my home did that. They wouldn't be invited again.

So what did you say to her OP?

Hmmmm so we are agreed she’s a dick, now how to deal with it? You need something REALLY REALLY annoying for the snooper to find next time.

Shocked they thought this was acceptable!

Feel bad for you and I would have a quiet word with sister but then try to forget about it.
Try not to let her unreasonable behaviour ruin your day any further.

I really do lol

What did you say to her? It's clearly not acceptable but she has to have been called out on it.

Good Lord, I think I'd have kicked them out of my house, how unspeakably rude.

I can absolutely see why this annoyed you but you don't need to feel embarrassed. It's just perfectly ordinary "medicine" that millions of people use - please don't feel mortified. She probably used to enjoy trying to make people feel small at school and she was obviously trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I would, however, invest in locks for your cupboards and be quite open as to why if it's ever raised. ("I know dniece likes to have a look round my things so I thought it best to put everything out of temptation's way.")

I didn't say anything I was honestly lost for words

I wish I had now. Since yesterday I have come up with several good responses but at the time I just was shocked

Even her mum just looked embarrassed

It was just so flippin strange

I would just own it and say yeah I use suppositories, they are brilliant! If you need to borrow some help yourself! 😂
Some people intentionally want to humiliate or upset people and that sounds like what she's doing - perhaps because she's staying at your place she feels like she isn't in charge anymore so needs some power back.
Maybe next time she stays plant something funny for her to find if she likes going through cupboards. Like a load of sex toys.

It's not too late to say something. I'd just mention it next time you see/speak to her. "By the way, I didn't appreciate you letting DN rifle through the contents of my cupboards last time you visited, would you mind keeping him/her out of there next time please?"

It's beyond rude of her and completely fair to call her out on it.

(Hindsight, but) you shoukd have told her not to allow her daughter to snoop around in your bedside drawers or the explanations might get a lot more difficult than explaining what Medication is for!

& 'oh I'm glad you allow Dd to do what she likes, DH, we no longer have to worry about the cigarettes & whiskey she has on our watch!!' (Obviously only works if you have her come & stay on her own).

I expect people to have a look (for some reason bathroom cabinets seem to attract people to look in them) but I would NOT expect a parent to allow a DC to do it! & id never expect someone to basically complain about what's in there as though it should be a child friendly zone.

PSid probably accompany a 6 year old too, to make sure they coukd reach to wash their hands etc & that it was all left clean & tidy. 💁🏻‍♀️

YANBU. It doesn’t matter if her niece wanted to look. Why did SIL let her? She’s the adult here.

You really need to have a word with her. She can’t be left feeling that her behaviour was harmless fun. Normally I’m not one for creating a scene but I definitely wouldn’t let that slide.

That was very rude. It occurs to me that the child may have her own medical or perhaps continence issues - which might explain both her need for her mother's presence and her excessive interest in bathroom products. Nevertheless, she should have learned by her age that you don''t rummage through other people's private things, and SIL should certainly not be asking you such personal questions in front of everyone! Does she have 'form' for rudeness and intrusiveness? Anyway you shouldn't feel mortified; she should!