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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this an invasion of privacy in my own home = or am i being dramatic

126 replies

FirestarterJackie · 02/10/2022 09:15

Morning all

Family visiting yesterday including SIL and 6 year old niece.
SIL accompanies niece to toilet, although no idea why at 6 years old

In my bathroom I have a cupboard which I keep a cosmetics bag which contains my haemorrhoid pills and suppositories

SIL comes down and announces to the whole room that she has had to tell her six year old what a suppository is - so the obvious WHY was asked, and her response was 'oh DD wanted to look in your bathroom cabinet and in your cosmetics bags'

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, I was mortified

Who goes into someone elses bathroom and starts opening cupboards and then starts opening sealed cosmetic bags that are inside

I feel super pissed about this, not only the fact she checked, but then she brazenly came downstairs and basically announced to the whole gathering what was in my bathroom.

I still feel mortified

OP posts:
dontputitthere · 02/10/2022 10:16

She wouldn't be welcome in my house again

Is this your dhs sister?

Because even if her daughter found it and she had to explain. She did NOT have to announce it to the room.

She was being vile. Deliberately nasty.

And I couldn't tolerate her again.

greenacrylicpaint · 02/10/2022 10:17

yanbu

but does your sil have form for this kind of thing?
I have a relative who does so I go round hiding things I don't want them to see and lock doors so they can't get to it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/10/2022 10:17

BatshitBanshee · Today 10:14
A note in your cosmetics bag saying "my SIL is a nosy c*nt" should work for next time.“

🤣🤣🤣
can’t get my head round you hosting your sister in law’s mother, too, OP. You’re a saint!

JaNaJanice · 02/10/2022 10:21

This reply has been deleted

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Shortpoet · 02/10/2022 10:21

Next time leave a giant purple dildo with the note, “Looking forward to hearing how you explain this SIL”.

RampantIvy · 02/10/2022 10:23

I would be tempted to empty the cupboard and write a note in very large letters, using lots of offensive swear words telling her not to be so nosy, then invite her around next time and ply them with lots of drinks so that they have to use the bathroom Grin

LuckyLil · 02/10/2022 10:23

Fold a piece of paper up inside your make up bag with NOSEY CUNT!! written on it.

wildseas · 02/10/2022 10:27

Next time you’re at hers go up to the bathroom, come back down and say “I can see why you like a rummage through bathroom cupboards - yours are way more exciting than mine - I didn’t realise you were into that sort of thing”. Loudly, in front of guests, with some raised eyebrows!

AndSoFinally · 02/10/2022 10:27

can’t get my head round you hosting your sister in law’s mother, too, OP. You’re a sain

Well I imagine her SILs mother is also her husband's mother?!

lunar1 · 02/10/2022 10:29

She wouldn't set foot in my house again!

GetOffTheTableMabel · 02/10/2022 10:29

I don’t really believe that a 6 year old wanted to rifle through bathroom cabinets. That sounds made up to me. And it isn’t difficult for an adult to work out that it is inappropriate and unnecessary to then discuss their nosey findings with the rest of the guests. Your SIL is nosey, unpleasant, has no manners (and doesn’t seem to particularly like you).
i mean, honestly, if a six year old asks to do something rude, you explain why it’s rude, you don’t help them out with it, do you?
I bet everyone there was embarrassed by her behaviour, not your medication. She clearly lacks self-awareness.

MsPrism · 02/10/2022 10:35

Bloody hell OP - I'm lost for words.
It's not for you to be embarassed though they were your private things.
If your SIL is not careful, her snooping DD will not be invited to many peoples houses in the future.

Rocketclub · 02/10/2022 10:40

I would get your DH to text her - you were rude and offensive yesterday and teaching a child to snoop in other peoples cupboard is not acceptable. For you then to announce this with the sole aim
of causing offence and embarrassment means you and niece will not be welcome again in our home. You have boundary issues. Thanks

Smileeriley · 02/10/2022 10:40

Next time you're both at a family gathering and there's a lull in conversation, just ask her if her genital warts have cleared up and take a sip of your tea.

What an absolute weapon she is.

pinkyredrose · 02/10/2022 10:40

What did you say when she said that ?

spookyjupy · 02/10/2022 10:41

Ha you could have some fun with this to be fair. Sticky tape some party poppers to the door and the string to the inside bit do it pops if it's been opened.
Leave a little note in the bag and the cabinet saying "I told you not to snoop you nosey cow"
Leave 'used' sanitary towels smeared with paint or ketchup. Even a 'used' condom with some hair gel or something inside.
go on.
mess with her head.

diddl · 02/10/2022 10:42

She was trying to embarrass you but has surely only embarrassed herself?

Longdistance · 02/10/2022 10:42

Buy a huge dildo and leave it in the bathroom cabinet for it to roll out. Let her explain that to her dd.

Octomore · 02/10/2022 10:43

The appropriate response to a child wanting to root through people's things is "No, we don't do that"

You are definitely not being unreasonable, your SIL is clearly incapable of saying no to her child.

spookyjupy · 02/10/2022 10:45

YellowTreeHouse · 02/10/2022 09:35

YANBU. It doesn’t matter if her niece wanted to look. Why did SIL let her? She’s the adult here.

oh sil wanted to look and she uses dd as a way to get away with it.

silly cow. It's so see-through. I would be embarrassed for her not because of her.

I caught sil going through my children's drawers when they 'just wanted a quick peek' at their bedroom. Well I stood by the door and the blood drained from her face when she noticed me.

Pushmepullu · 02/10/2022 10:46

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I absolutely love this idea.

phishy · 02/10/2022 10:51

You can still call her now. Or get DH to call.

Don’t be a wet lettuce.

FirstFallopians · 02/10/2022 10:56

I actually think you need to address this properly- it’s not like she made one mistake by letting her DC open the cupboard. She did that, then explained what the medication was and why it was needed, and then announced it when she came downstairs.

She needs to know that her behaviour was inappropriate and embarrassed not only you but the other people in the room.

AsTreesWalking · 02/10/2022 10:56

My scifi/fantasy bookcase is in our downstairs loo. Visitors often comment on the great reading material.
That is appropriate.
Opening cupboards and bags is not.
But I don't agree with making outrageous comments at her house, or leaving something like a dildo for her to find. This sort of 'funny ' revenge always backfires. Stay classy!

RoseyPalm · 02/10/2022 10:57

Totally coarse behaviour all round.

Our six year olds would have insisted on privacy,
SIL should have given her privacy. Maybe waited outside bathroom to check hands were washed and ensure that child did NOT go into other rooms. Usually, they want to investigate clothes and scent, and forget to put stopper back and it evaporates.
Bringing that topic into conversation.
How 'common, what an awful family you have joined.