To find this an invasion of privacy in my own home = or am i being dramatic

[FirestarterJackie]

Morning all

Family visiting yesterday including SIL and 6 year old niece.
SIL accompanies niece to toilet, although no idea why at 6 years old

In my bathroom I have a cupboard which I keep a cosmetics bag which contains my haemorrhoid pills and suppositories

SIL comes down and announces to the whole room that she has had to tell her six year old what a suppository is - so the obvious WHY was asked, and her response was 'oh DD wanted to look in your bathroom cabinet and in your cosmetics bags'

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL, I was mortified

Who goes into someone elses bathroom and starts opening cupboards and then starts opening sealed cosmetic bags that are inside

I feel super pissed about this, not only the fact she checked, but then she brazenly came downstairs and basically announced to the whole gathering what was in my bathroom.

I still feel mortified

Absolutely love this! 🤣

It’s very normal to accompany a 6 year old to the loo in someone else’s house. I thought one big reason was so that they didn’t snoop in cupboards/ go in bedrooms and see personal items and access their medication etc though!

'Don't you think you should be teaching your daughter about boundaries and personal privacy?'

Invite them both round and put a fucking mouse trap in there next time.

When my DSDs were young, they had a habit of snooping into others cupboards. Not just mine but everyone's. It was difficult as you had two parents (one obviously not present) who had different parenting priorities.

The way I (and DP's friends) addressed it was to leave notes in the snooped cupboards addressing the girls directly and telling them that this was private and they shouldn't be in there.

Interestingly enough, the cupboard foraging became less of an issue not long after. I like to think they realised they were rumbled without the added public shame - didn't like the feeling and adjusted their behaviour accordingly.

It might be a helpful way to 'speak directly' to the little one if you have no joy with your appallingly behaved SIL.

Get a massive dragon dildo and stick it in the cupboard for next time.

Don't google them if you're a fairly innocent person, you'll want to rip your eyes out

Do you have a family group chat OP.? ..I would be tempted to brush it off along the lines of, 'lovely to see you all yesterday, was initially a bit horrified at the comments about the contents of my shut cupboard but I imagine you are cringing SIL. Jokes that backfire are so embarrassing aren't they...won't make that mistake again will you😂'

Next time (if she’s allowed back) insist SILs mother come to the bathroom to supervise them both and see how she likes that.

She did that to be nasty

My money is on SIL being the snooper and using her 6yo as an excuse.

Either was SIL’s behaviour was appalling. Is this your husband’s sister? He should have a word with her about it if you don’t feel able to.

I assume OP's sister-in-law's mother may be OP's MIL?

SIL is a massive cow and a nosey bitch.
She could have had a sneaky peek with DN and then hurriedly shushed if she asked about anything inside. And you’d be none the wiser.
But SIL decided to firstly announce loudly that she’d let her kid look in your cupboards and then took the opportunity to try and embarrass you by loudly answering the question about what was inside.
YANBU.
(I bet she’s a twat in other respects too)

Definitely have words with her about this before she comes to your home again.
I bet she was the one doing the snooping. I can’t believe someone would watch their child open someone else’s cosmetic bag and not stop them.
It’s weird behaviour. Why would you do anything but have a pee, wash your hands and leave?

She’s a bitch. At least you know where you stand with her, no future helping out or favours.

I would just say
“By the way SIL, it was wrong of you to to go through my bathroom cupboard and intriguing that you felt the need to announce the contents to the whole room.”
”I was going to call you out on it at the time but given your mothers shocked look, I thought I would be the bigger person and mention it privately.”

I would be questioning why the mother allows a 6 year old in the toilet with her. Should have grown out of that by about 3 years old!!

As she has totally rude, I would say to her nearing the end of her visit or as she leaves your house that she is simply not welcome again. That will make her think about her words that were uncalled for!

You'll no doubt get to wierdly co-dependent mumsnetters that sit waiting by the door all day for vistors telling you your unreasonable and that guests can do anything even take a shit in you bed and use your vibrator and you should just be happy about it because its 'good hosting' and accusing the rest of us of being wierd anti-social hobbits who hide under the sofa when the doorbell goes.

Where as in reality this kind of shit is the number 1 reason I don't have visitors in my house, because some people unfortunately have zero respect, morals or boundries.

They would never be invited back again (and yes I have had to ban people from my house for rude invasions of privacy before), I still have plenty of friends and get on great with family we just now meet in a public space or I go to theres (where I dont touch and go through their hidden belongings).

I think my sis in law does this to see what make up I have.

Next time I’d leave a note in there saying don’t be so nosy sil or I’ll tell everyone i found your vibrator

I think I’d send her and her husband an email saying you’re flabbergasted that she and her daughter went through your bathroom cabinet and through your sponge bag and then felt moved to announce your pessaries to the entire room. Wait for a response and then decide what to do.

I think it’s an extraordinary aggressive attack on you in your home and I’d be worried what her next move was and what she wants as an outcome.

Are they those one that went viral, like huge creapy slimey ones that ones that lay fake eggs in the user?
or is that something to do with Aliens lol

Wow, looking in cupboards is perhaps understandable but announcing it like she did is just so out of order. She could have quietly answered her DD's questions.

hahahahah I am actually considering this hahahaha

Completely unacceptable. She’s giving her young daughter all the wrong messages. Not only is it rude but people often keep medications in bathroom cabinets which could be dangerous for children.

Yes the mother is my MIL - sorry I should have made myself clearer x