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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel mortified ...

161 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 01/10/2022 23:45

... that my new next door neighbour came round at 11.15 in her pyjamas to tell me that my TV was so loud it kept her awake? I genuinely had no idea.

I had the radio on through the TV, which is downstairs, whilst I was working upstairs, and I turned it up so I could hear it. I've done this before but the previous neighbour never said anything so I was not aware it was a problem. I live in a mid terrace and the TV is on the wall that joins to her house. She also told me it was loud last week (this I'm not sure about, as I only watched it one evening and I was sitting in front of it).

She only moved in on Wednesday! I feel a total fool. It really wasn't THAT loud but obviously too loud for her.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2022 08:15

you are unreasonable to play music so loudly and not unreasonable to feel mortified.
you should feel mortified.

user1471538283 · 02/10/2022 08:17

In my experience people know they are being noisy. Your definition of loud is only if someone complains not that you can hear your TV upstairs.

Of course you knew.

JaNaJanice · 02/10/2022 08:18

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DucklingDaisy · 02/10/2022 08:19

Yes, you should feel mortified! Really daft thing to do, though you’ve done exactly right now she’s told you and are hardly the neighbour from hell for one thoughtless act.

JaNaJanice · 02/10/2022 08:23

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LuckyLil · 02/10/2022 08:35

I get a lot of people like the idea of a TV on the wall but the noise will amplify through the wall itself when it's flat against it. I know it's a pain but if you put the TV on a stand off the wall you'll be able to have it louder without it carrying through the wall itself. It's like if you lay an alarm clock flat on a dinner plate then set it off it sounds much much louder because the flat plates surface it's on acts as a n amplifier. It's actually a tip if you have trouble waking up to put an alarm clock on a plate. Works with your phone too if you watch videos. Maybe experiment by getting a stand so it's about a foot away from the wall then asking her if she still years it as loudly. But anyway you have apologised, just tell her that you genuinely didn't realize it carried through the wall like that as nobody had ever told you before and if you had known it was traveling through the wall that much of course you wouldn't have put it on the wall. Some houses you can do this and it doesn't go through the wall but others it just doesn't work unfortunately.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 02/10/2022 08:36

I think you are being daft and some of the pp are being drama llamas. Your music / TV was too loud, she spoke to you about it, you apologised and turned it down - non event. Its inevitable when you live in close proximity. I have moaned to my neighbours about niggles before and after a brief conversation consider it dealt with, afterwards we have gone on to being friendly. Don't stress about it.

MuggleMe · 02/10/2022 08:37

I suggest you get an Alexa for radio upstairs.

LuckyLil · 02/10/2022 08:39

Another option is to put it on a stand in a different part of the room I suppose. What you don't want is a neighbour who complains about every little sound so I'd try at least a stand or relocation of the TV so that you can be sure it's not a problem on the wall.

MotherOfWhippets · 02/10/2022 08:43

Look - she came around - you said sorry and turned it off.

No more drama or mortification needed. It was sorted out civilly (is that a word?)

If you wanted you could get her some flowers today - pop round and apologise again - say you hadn't realised how late it was and you won't do it again.

Runningintolife · 02/10/2022 08:48

Its all right OP, I remember my stepsister turning up her radio to hear it over the hairdryer, and not realising that made it really noisy for the rest of the house. Don't let mortification set in, let her know that you appreciate her coming over and talking to you and that you don't wish to be inconsiderate. Your responsiveness will go a long way for her after a previous bad experience and good for her being upfront enough to tackle it quickly. Good outcome for both of you.

BlackberryCat · 02/10/2022 08:57

My parents hung their TV on the party wall. Neighbours only mentioned it was a problem when they moved out. Apparently, it had made their lives a living hell. My parents were of course mortified and moved it, but too late for those neighbours. I'd just get headphones or something.

I don't think it's a big deal as you didn't know, but now you know, you can do something about it.

Also, MN is weirdly extreme about things. You'll probably get loads of replies calling you names and telling you you're a horrible person. Don't worry about it. If the old neighbour said it was fine, how could you have known differently?

TokyoTen · 02/10/2022 08:58

Well I guess at least you now realise. But playing your radio downstairs loud enough to hear upstairs is completely unreasonable. Can you get another small radio and just have it in the room you are in would be my suggestion.

averageavocado · 02/10/2022 09:02

And is this real? Do you think I have the time and am bored enough to write rubbish at this time of night?

Well if you live in a terraced house and your tv is loud enough to hear upstairs.... why wouldn't it annoy a neighbour at 11.15 at night??

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 02/10/2022 09:16

Scrambler4 · 02/10/2022 07:43

Regardless of the time of day it was going to be loud and annoying in your neighbour’s house. Sounds like you realise you were in the wrong. The poor woman must be so disheartened to have moved away from noisy neighbours then hear your blaring tv in her new home.

Maybe you could buy her a bunch of flowers and new home card. Apologise and say you were distracted and didn’t realise your tv was on so loud. Then buy yourself a radio or Google speaker to use upstairs or in the kitchen.

Already did the card and flowers when she moved in.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 02/10/2022 09:18

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2022 07:20

are you always so obtuse op?

@MrsLargeEmbodied Do you always think one error of judgement defines a person's character?

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2022 09:18

well you may have given her flowers but your behaviour needs to change, which i am sure it will

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 09:21

Maybe do the flowers again? I can't believe you did not realise how loud the tv would be in her house! And late at night as well.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 02/10/2022 09:28

victoriacrosshairs · 02/10/2022 09:21

Maybe do the flowers again? I can't believe you did not realise how loud the tv would be in her house! And late at night as well.

Give over. That's extreme. I've apologised. I'm going to talk to her again and swap numbers in case we need to communicate or there's an issue or one of us needs help, but more flowers is going to make me look like I'm grovelling.

@MrsLargeEmbodied No I don't need to change my behaviour. I just need to keep the volume down on the tellybox.

@LuckyLil I can't take it off the wall unfortunately because of the arrangement in the room and space.

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 02/10/2022 09:29

Crikey, this seems to have touched a nerve for some people! OP, yes it’s mortifying, and yes ideally you should have realised it was going to disturb your neighbour - but since you’re doing the same as you’ve always done and previous neighbour never said anything about noise, I can see why you might have thought the insulation was better than it was.

The important thing is that your new neighbour let you know pretty much right away - she waited a week to check it wasn’t a one off, and then very reasonably came round to tell you. As long as you adjust now, then no harm done. Respond gracefully to her, acknowledge that you’ve been noisy, and adjust.

Noteverybodylives · 02/10/2022 09:41

I can’t believe it wouldn’t even enter your heard that having music blaring at 11pm might disturb your neighbour.

Your old neighbours definitely would have heard too.

It’s different if you were having a one off party but you put it on loud just to go upstairs and work - you could have just put headphones on or had it on quietly upstairs.

It sounds like you did this on purpose.

What time we’re you planning to turn it off if she hadn’t complained?

RedRec · 02/10/2022 09:41

Just get a radio for upstairs.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 02/10/2022 09:42

turning the volume down is changing your behaviour op @ImJustMadAboutSaffron

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 02/10/2022 09:46

@Noteverybodylives It sounds like you did this on purpose.

Why exactly would I do that "on purpose"? Do you seriously think I'd deliberately piss off a brand new neighbour just for a laugh?

OP posts:
CanaryShoulderedThorn · 02/10/2022 09:50

Look, you did what she asked and you won't cause the same issue again, I'd say that makes you a lovely neighbour!

No need to be mortified.