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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this bloke is an absolute knob

134 replies

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 20:57

New central heating system going in. There wasn’t one here before ( we’ve literally just moved in) so the chap who plans the installation turns up and sort of barges in without introducing himself with another chap and they immediately start pacing around the house saying - ‘one here ‘ (radiators ?) ‘run the pipes down here ‘ and so on and so forth . Totally ignoring me and not requesting permission before barging into each room. It’s very obvious I’m decorating and without a word he takes out a pen and draws a big cross in the middle of a freshly painted wall!! I said ‘I’ve just painted that!’ He responds with ‘it’s where the room thermostat is going!’
by now I’m really annoyed . It’s an old property with a cottage feel , think beams and white render on the outside and the rooms are small so it needs thinking about in terms of planning things like this .
he goes outside to the rear patio and seems surprised I’ve followed them, I ask him to clarify what’s going on with the pipes and he says there will be pipes run down the outside of the wall . I say ‘okay so is it your job or mine to paint those to match the render?’
and the cheeky fucker says:
’no we don’t do it, you need to use the proper paint though love , you can’t use indoor paint’.
I’m extremely pissed off. Beyond angry now. I’m 38 , I left home at 18 and moved into a little house, I have renovated and loved homes for 20 years and made them look really nice! I can paint , plaster , tile , repair brickwork and I’ve even refitted doors and architraves all while keeping children alive and studying or working full time! . I had to restrain myself. Surely he could see by my car and my ( okay unfinished but clearly going well) decorating and my possessions that I was a capable and productive adult ?
sadly I don’t get to choose the contractors as I did a mutual exchange into a council property and therefore I’m stuck with this idiot . But it’s just an appalling way to speak to someone and I can’t decide if it’s a mysogynistic thing or because he thinks social housing tenants are all a bit basic or something? For the record it’s outer London and while not poor I can’t afford to ‘buy my own house then’ - before that cohort jump on. I pay the rent from my own pocket and keep the gardens and house looking beautiful.
surely even renters deserve to be treated with some respect like asking to be let in, asking to pass through doorways and not having fresh paint scrawled over and being accused of being daft enough to emulsion copper fucking pipes outdoors?

Or am I being sensitive?

OP posts:
Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:00

Why are you decorating if you are having a new heating system installed?

RJnomore1 · 30/09/2022 21:00

Well it sounds like he could improve his people skills but WHY on Earth would you decorate just before you get hearing fitted, especially for the first time? What a complete waste of effort 🙈 you’ll have to do it all again

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:01

You sound a bit up yourself tbh.

Cas112 · 30/09/2022 21:05

You shouldn't be decorating yet and it's his job to go in and decide where the radiators will be and the planning of his work. Your just a tenant so you wont be involved in that part. Yes he could probably have better people skills but you will just have to get over this and let him get on with his job, this really wont involved you even if it is where you live

1dontunderstand · 30/09/2022 21:05

You are not being unreasonable. You have to be on the ball with people doing work in social housing Properties. I had my 1970’s kitchen and bathroom updated and some of the cost and time saving decisions they tried to make were awful. Luckily I have experience in building management so I could highlight their ‘errors’!

the central heating was put in in the 90’s, before I moved into the property. Placed in totally the wrong and ineffectual places, barely heat the rooms due to placement. And the new windows and front door are so drafty, I really could go on

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:05

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:00

Why are you decorating if you are having a new heating system installed?

Because the old lady who had this house before us had been really unwell for some time, it was very sad and quite gross . We had to live in a hotel for a week while we ripped out carpets that were soaked in body fluids and the walls resembled those from the first Saw movie, dogs had chewed the wood work etc etc . It honestly couldn’t be left , not a single room or wall could be ‘lived with ‘ for any amount of time. It’s a huge project but there are certain qualities to this place we really needed and it’s opposite a special school for my littlest boy so it was worth it .

OP posts:
1dontunderstand · 30/09/2022 21:06

@Allalongthescotchtower majesure the radiators are placed under the windows in the external walls.

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:07

Strange. The council usually remove all carpets before new tenants move in.

TrainspottingWelsh · 30/09/2022 21:08

If you’re renting then you aren’t involved in planning where thermostats, radiators etc are going, so yabu.
However yanbu to think your inability to wee standing up is the reason he was patronising about painting the pipes.

ChilliBandit · 30/09/2022 21:08

No idea why you are getting a bit of a hard time, you deserve a bit of respect in your own home. You don’t sound up yourself either? Confused

For what it’s worth I have found some central heating engineers can be a bit like this, more than other trades oddly. Even other nice gas engineers have pointed out their profession attracts a higher than average number of twats. It’s an odd phenomenon.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:09

1dontunderstand · 30/09/2022 21:05

You are not being unreasonable. You have to be on the ball with people doing work in social housing Properties. I had my 1970’s kitchen and bathroom updated and some of the cost and time saving decisions they tried to make were awful. Luckily I have experience in building management so I could highlight their ‘errors’!

the central heating was put in in the 90’s, before I moved into the property. Placed in totally the wrong and ineffectual places, barely heat the rooms due to placement. And the new windows and front door are so drafty, I really could go on

thank you! Yes I’ve also seen some shocking stuff when we had to have a property required once . They were very shoddy . Those men were at least polite about checking before walking into rooms , they don’t arrive at a specified time and I had a teen daughter in bed once and they respectfully went for a fag by the can so she could get up and dressed and whatnot . This bloke seemed to think I didn’t deserve to be a knowledges or wait to be invited in! I really don’t like him .

OP posts:
Dogscanteatonions · 30/09/2022 21:10

It's a social housing thing. They do not give a fuck about tenants wishes.

NotJustAnybody · 30/09/2022 21:10

He lacks manners.
If it was your own house and you were paying him, it would be a completely different story, but he knows he's got this job and will be paid regardless.

Rather unfortunate that you decorated before!

ChilliBandit · 30/09/2022 21:11

It is the OP’s home, she may not own the building but it’s her home still.

StoneofDestiny · 30/09/2022 21:12

I agree OP - bloke sounds an idiot. No excuse that you are being treated like that by the 'superior being' he thinks he is. It's your home - the fact you are renting is irrelevant. Barging into your home and giving himself a guided tour without the necessary etiquette is not acceptable. I'd tell him that too.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:14

TrainspottingWelsh · 30/09/2022 21:08

If you’re renting then you aren’t involved in planning where thermostats, radiators etc are going, so yabu.
However yanbu to think your inability to wee standing up is the reason he was patronising about painting the pipes.

Yes of course I appreciate that they decide how and where stuff goes . I’m quite practical but I wouldn’t claim to know much about installing rads! It was purely his attitude and mannerisms he spoke to me like I was a child, at the end of the day it’s my home and I have a young child, expensive tech and kit for work laying about , I’m not going to let strange men just walk through my home like that ( they weren’t even a proper appt I’d been given a vague time window ). I’m usually the ‘nice lady’ ‘cuppa tea lads?’ ‘You can smoke under the gazebo ‘ ‘I’ve left some biscuits out’ type of customer . I’ve never really felt this uneasy before 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 30/09/2022 21:15

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:01

You sound a bit up yourself tbh.

...and you sound like a total sweetheart!

Puppers · 30/09/2022 21:16

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:01

You sound a bit up yourself tbh.

Yes you are so right. As a social housing tenant, OP should have been too busy doffing her cap and staring at her feet to notice what the strange men were doing in her home 🙄

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:18

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:07

Strange. The council usually remove all carpets before new tenants move in.

we did an exchange . It’s down to the tenants to decide who leaves what between them. The elderly lady had dementia and a broken hip and the daughter did a half baked job of arranging stuff for her so I knew I was walking into a nightmare and they hadn’t moved out either so I paid for my removal team to finish it and help them . I left my property professionally cleaned for her and ready to move in.

OP posts:
Name99 · 30/09/2022 21:18

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:07

Strange. The council usually remove all carpets before new tenants move in.

Yes I thought this also

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Trollhunting

Crimsonripple · 30/09/2022 21:21

I still don't understand why you're doing and paying for so much to be done on a rental property. It's the owners responsibility and a lot of effort from yourself on something you don't own. You could be kicked out once the owner dies.

5128gap · 30/09/2022 21:21

I think as a tenant you can't expect to have any input into where radiators or thermostats go or whether the work will be in keeping with the age of your home. As long as the property meets the necessary standards the aesthetics are the landlords affair, so I'd be surprised if they thought you should be part of any consultation on that.
However, out of courtesy he should have said what they needed to look at and why.
He also shouldn't have called you love or spoken patronisingly, but nor should he be expected to know you knew what paint to use. Many people wouldn't. Your decorating would probably not have even crossed his radar, nor your car. He will go in so many houses, he probably just sees the job he's there to do.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:21

Name99 · 30/09/2022 21:18

Yes I thought this also

The council don’t do anything when it’s a mutual exchange . Tenants sign in the morning and swap keys then the removal teams unload at the new house . All completely down to tenants to organise emptying the house

OP posts:
Lavendersummer · 30/09/2022 21:22

He was not polite. But also this isn’t your property- so he isn’t working for you. He is working for the council.
He should be polite. However you as a tenant dont get to choose where pipes and radiators go as the house doesn’t belong to you.