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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this bloke is an absolute knob

134 replies

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 20:57

New central heating system going in. There wasn’t one here before ( we’ve literally just moved in) so the chap who plans the installation turns up and sort of barges in without introducing himself with another chap and they immediately start pacing around the house saying - ‘one here ‘ (radiators ?) ‘run the pipes down here ‘ and so on and so forth . Totally ignoring me and not requesting permission before barging into each room. It’s very obvious I’m decorating and without a word he takes out a pen and draws a big cross in the middle of a freshly painted wall!! I said ‘I’ve just painted that!’ He responds with ‘it’s where the room thermostat is going!’
by now I’m really annoyed . It’s an old property with a cottage feel , think beams and white render on the outside and the rooms are small so it needs thinking about in terms of planning things like this .
he goes outside to the rear patio and seems surprised I’ve followed them, I ask him to clarify what’s going on with the pipes and he says there will be pipes run down the outside of the wall . I say ‘okay so is it your job or mine to paint those to match the render?’
and the cheeky fucker says:
’no we don’t do it, you need to use the proper paint though love , you can’t use indoor paint’.
I’m extremely pissed off. Beyond angry now. I’m 38 , I left home at 18 and moved into a little house, I have renovated and loved homes for 20 years and made them look really nice! I can paint , plaster , tile , repair brickwork and I’ve even refitted doors and architraves all while keeping children alive and studying or working full time! . I had to restrain myself. Surely he could see by my car and my ( okay unfinished but clearly going well) decorating and my possessions that I was a capable and productive adult ?
sadly I don’t get to choose the contractors as I did a mutual exchange into a council property and therefore I’m stuck with this idiot . But it’s just an appalling way to speak to someone and I can’t decide if it’s a mysogynistic thing or because he thinks social housing tenants are all a bit basic or something? For the record it’s outer London and while not poor I can’t afford to ‘buy my own house then’ - before that cohort jump on. I pay the rent from my own pocket and keep the gardens and house looking beautiful.
surely even renters deserve to be treated with some respect like asking to be let in, asking to pass through doorways and not having fresh paint scrawled over and being accused of being daft enough to emulsion copper fucking pipes outdoors?

Or am I being sensitive?

OP posts:
FromageRouge · 30/09/2022 22:10

Dibbydoos · 30/09/2022 22:07

Some people even treat those who've bought a £500k house like that, OP. It's arrogance that causes it.

I'm a widow. Bought our house (Bellway), they fd up almost every room - water leaks, my stuff thrown away, threw the brand new fridge freezer over the base board and crumpled it so it was broken. They had to do lots of other remedial work too, made out it was all caused by me!

Honestly some workmen are DHs. Never buy a Bellway home!

Yes I had hell with a new build developer too. Not just endless snags but a stinking attitude. I would never ever buy new again. Then again you get rude tossers no matter your budget or tenure, and sometimes you get lovely people with professionalism to spare.

Ramsbottom · 30/09/2022 22:11

Um what? Council tenants are paying half of the UK’s mortgages and propping up the buy sell market? Can you explain how`?

Scianel · 30/09/2022 22:11

Could people please stop with the really transparent troll hunting? It's tedious and not particularly clever.

CheezePleeze · 30/09/2022 22:13

I'm so confused OP.

What does your car have to do with it??

FromageRouge · 30/09/2022 22:13

Ramsbottom · 30/09/2022 22:11

Um what? Council tenants are paying half of the UK’s mortgages and propping up the buy sell market? Can you explain how`?

All tenants that seem to get spoken down to.

I can’t think of a good reason to be shitty to any rent paying tenant, though.

Social tenants actually have to do an awful lot of their own upgrading, decoration, flooring etc. They keep the housing stock in good condition at their own expense. Most of them, do, anyway.

Teenyliving · 30/09/2022 22:20

Why restrain yourself?

sound alike they they’re likely to do a crap job

id get an official complaint asap and make it clear you’ll take it to the housing ombudsman if it’s not done to standard

ChelseaRobertsofMalibu · 30/09/2022 22:22

Dibbydoos · 30/09/2022 22:07

Some people even treat those who've bought a £500k house like that, OP. It's arrogance that causes it.

I'm a widow. Bought our house (Bellway), they fd up almost every room - water leaks, my stuff thrown away, threw the brand new fridge freezer over the base board and crumpled it so it was broken. They had to do lots of other remedial work too, made out it was all caused by me!

Honestly some workmen are DHs. Never buy a Bellway home!

I live in a Bellway home and it's superb! Not a single snag, extremely well built. Spacious and comfortable.

ChilliBandit · 30/09/2022 22:22

OP isn’t getting this for free btw, she pays rent.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 22:22

CheezePleeze · 30/09/2022 22:13

I'm so confused OP.

What does your car have to do with it??

Not a great deal and out of context it does read as bizarre looking at it now , but it’s a sensible , grown up , well maintained vehicle , which along with other lifestyle clues should have indicated that I’m responsible and hold down a decent job and as such didn’t need to be treated like someone who can’t hold a conversation or didn’t deserve a little bit of respect to be treated like an equal by them . That’s all. Not easy to explain really . Im tired and a bit stroppy atm so perhaps shouldn’t have mentioned it .

OP posts:
Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 22:25

LuluBlakey1 · 30/09/2022 22:01

I wouldn't have him in my house. You are paying him to do a job that's really important in terms if how you use rooms in your house and he should be talking to you and consulting you. He sounds a twat.

This is what concerns me , what am I to expect from him ? A few people have said to complain already but I’m on the fence about it still as I don’t want to come across as a PITA

OP posts:
Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 22:31

Dibbydoos · 30/09/2022 22:07

Some people even treat those who've bought a £500k house like that, OP. It's arrogance that causes it.

I'm a widow. Bought our house (Bellway), they fd up almost every room - water leaks, my stuff thrown away, threw the brand new fridge freezer over the base board and crumpled it so it was broken. They had to do lots of other remedial work too, made out it was all caused by me!

Honestly some workmen are DHs. Never buy a Bellway home!

Sorry to hear this . Must have been so stressful and moving on it’s own is a big stress! Problems like that are just awful. Did it take long to get resolved? My grandmother bought a beautiful looking new build semi on an estate and had to get them out dozens of times to sort bits and pieces out . Once they had her money it was hard to get them to take things seriously too. She’s a proud and fierce Irish lass though so she Didn’t rest until she’d got it all sorted. I often wish I had more of her spirit ! And her red hair …

OP posts:
Bundlebungle · 30/09/2022 22:33

Your home sounds lovely, op. It'll all be worth it in the end.

RedHelenB · 30/09/2022 22:34

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:00

Why are you decorating if you are having a new heating system installed?

This. For someone who has done so much DIY it seems am odd decision. He's just trying to do his job , he's employed by the council not you so that may be why he's not really communicating where things will go, it's not really a decision you are part of when you're the tenant unfortunately.

DaSilvaP · 30/09/2022 22:36

Crimsonripple · 30/09/2022 21:21

I still don't understand why you're doing and paying for so much to be done on a rental property. It's the owners responsibility and a lot of effort from yourself on something you don't own. You could be kicked out once the owner dies.

I've seen a property lived by tenants with that kind of attitude. Calling it a pigsty would've been an insult to pigs.
As for these two knobs, they should've been requested to leave immediately, and left to explain themselves to the council why.
Most councils take a very dim few of contractors behaving like that.

Somethingneedstochange · 30/09/2022 22:37

Maybe leave the decorating until the CH has been put in.

FleeUpFreeTime · 30/09/2022 22:37

Unless the engineers know you full history you can’t be pissed that he said don’t use indoor paint he probably assumes no one knows so he says it to everyone.

Did they actual barge into your home like a police raid, that’s how drama llama you made it, if so call the police you have 2 strangers on your home. Or perhaps they knocked, said were from X and you stepped aside and let them in.

MoCaine · 30/09/2022 22:41

OP you are not being unreasonable whatsoever, when my folks got central heating in they didnt really have much of a club, guys who fitted it did what was easiest and quickest so they could get their 2 or 3 o'clock finish.

MoCaine · 30/09/2022 22:42

MoCaine · 30/09/2022 22:41

OP you are not being unreasonable whatsoever, when my folks got central heating in they didnt really have much of a club, guys who fitted it did what was easiest and quickest so they could get their 2 or 3 o'clock finish.

*typo..clue not club

BeggarsMeddle · 30/09/2022 22:44

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:39

I'm not sure how an old lady with dementia could consent to an exchange, But what do I know?

OP has answered this. The elderly lady's daughter managed the process on her behalf.

Lalliella · 30/09/2022 22:50

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:18

we did an exchange . It’s down to the tenants to decide who leaves what between them. The elderly lady had dementia and a broken hip and the daughter did a half baked job of arranging stuff for her so I knew I was walking into a nightmare and they hadn’t moved out either so I paid for my removal team to finish it and help them . I left my property professionally cleaned for her and ready to move in.

What a horrible thing to say. You have no idea what stress the daughter might be under and what else she has going on in her life. Try having a bit of empathy rather than coming on here boasting about what you know about paint ffs.

FirestarterJackie · 30/09/2022 22:52

I do not think it is just a social housing thing. In my old housing association place they were subcontractors so worked in businesses, private homes and for the social housing

when i lived in social housing I do not ever remember feeling as wound up with workmen as I do since I own my own home. It may well be because I am footing the bill nowadays that I expect more input and a bit more respect......and by respect I mean the following things are examples of what has happened recently in an owned house,with workmen:
do not change entire plans without consulting us, do not book a kitchen fitting and have a lorry load of cabinets and goods delivered, and we book a week off work, and then the night before, the workmen call and say they cannot come for another week

Since owning my own home, I have probably had this with 95% of the workmen we have had here....and we have had a LOT of different workmen as the house was a tip. AND furthermore, they are still knobs with my husband

I initially thought it was a misogynistic thing and refused to deal with workmen for a while and my Husband found the same.

Nowadays if we find someone to be a knob, then we kick them off the job. just SICK TO DEATH of shit workmen, with an attitude.

The last one we had in the house last week, started having a pop because we didnt have a desk set up in a room he had asked us to empty, so he could get his laptop out and THEN ASKED IF HE COULD GO IN MY BEDROOM AND SIT ON MY BED ...He got booted straight out the door
and this is in an owned house, so i dont think its different

Kingharoldshairstyle · 30/09/2022 22:54

The last one we had in the house last week, started having a pop because we didnt have a desk set up in a room he had asked us to empty, so he could get his laptop out and THEN ASKED IF HE COULD GO IN MY BEDROOM AND SIT ON MY BED ...He got booted straight out the doorand this is in an owned house, so i dont think its different

wow. Good lord. You guys have some issues.

Caroffee · 30/09/2022 23:01

Tradesmen do talk down to women in this way. I own my house and I've had this before. Of they patronise me when they come to quote me, I don't hire them. Unfortunately you don't have that option, OP. Btw, very impressed with your DIY skills. Mine start and end with painting. I have friends who are impressed that O even do that.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 23:04

Lalliella · 30/09/2022 22:50

What a horrible thing to say. You have no idea what stress the daughter might be under and what else she has going on in her life. Try having a bit of empathy rather than coming on here boasting about what you know about paint ffs.

For clarity they were lovely people and I was very kind and accommodating but she was really out of her depth which is why I didn’t push them to clear the property or do any of the work/ waste clearance needed I was desperately trying to be helpful and wanted it all To go well for both parties. they have been in touch since and thanked me for everything and let me know how happy and settled she is so I feel like I handled it well, it’s not the first swap I’ve done when I left a ‘done up’ place for a project so I wasn’t dramatic or stroppy at all I was super nice.

OP posts:
Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 23:06

FirestarterJackie · 30/09/2022 22:52

I do not think it is just a social housing thing. In my old housing association place they were subcontractors so worked in businesses, private homes and for the social housing

when i lived in social housing I do not ever remember feeling as wound up with workmen as I do since I own my own home. It may well be because I am footing the bill nowadays that I expect more input and a bit more respect......and by respect I mean the following things are examples of what has happened recently in an owned house,with workmen:
do not change entire plans without consulting us, do not book a kitchen fitting and have a lorry load of cabinets and goods delivered, and we book a week off work, and then the night before, the workmen call and say they cannot come for another week

Since owning my own home, I have probably had this with 95% of the workmen we have had here....and we have had a LOT of different workmen as the house was a tip. AND furthermore, they are still knobs with my husband

I initially thought it was a misogynistic thing and refused to deal with workmen for a while and my Husband found the same.

Nowadays if we find someone to be a knob, then we kick them off the job. just SICK TO DEATH of shit workmen, with an attitude.

The last one we had in the house last week, started having a pop because we didnt have a desk set up in a room he had asked us to empty, so he could get his laptop out and THEN ASKED IF HE COULD GO IN MY BEDROOM AND SIT ON MY BED ...He got booted straight out the door
and this is in an owned house, so i dont think its different

Oh I think you win for the aggressive rude laptop guy! That’s bloody unbelievable! What an arse!

OP posts:
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