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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this bloke is an absolute knob

134 replies

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 20:57

New central heating system going in. There wasn’t one here before ( we’ve literally just moved in) so the chap who plans the installation turns up and sort of barges in without introducing himself with another chap and they immediately start pacing around the house saying - ‘one here ‘ (radiators ?) ‘run the pipes down here ‘ and so on and so forth . Totally ignoring me and not requesting permission before barging into each room. It’s very obvious I’m decorating and without a word he takes out a pen and draws a big cross in the middle of a freshly painted wall!! I said ‘I’ve just painted that!’ He responds with ‘it’s where the room thermostat is going!’
by now I’m really annoyed . It’s an old property with a cottage feel , think beams and white render on the outside and the rooms are small so it needs thinking about in terms of planning things like this .
he goes outside to the rear patio and seems surprised I’ve followed them, I ask him to clarify what’s going on with the pipes and he says there will be pipes run down the outside of the wall . I say ‘okay so is it your job or mine to paint those to match the render?’
and the cheeky fucker says:
’no we don’t do it, you need to use the proper paint though love , you can’t use indoor paint’.
I’m extremely pissed off. Beyond angry now. I’m 38 , I left home at 18 and moved into a little house, I have renovated and loved homes for 20 years and made them look really nice! I can paint , plaster , tile , repair brickwork and I’ve even refitted doors and architraves all while keeping children alive and studying or working full time! . I had to restrain myself. Surely he could see by my car and my ( okay unfinished but clearly going well) decorating and my possessions that I was a capable and productive adult ?
sadly I don’t get to choose the contractors as I did a mutual exchange into a council property and therefore I’m stuck with this idiot . But it’s just an appalling way to speak to someone and I can’t decide if it’s a mysogynistic thing or because he thinks social housing tenants are all a bit basic or something? For the record it’s outer London and while not poor I can’t afford to ‘buy my own house then’ - before that cohort jump on. I pay the rent from my own pocket and keep the gardens and house looking beautiful.
surely even renters deserve to be treated with some respect like asking to be let in, asking to pass through doorways and not having fresh paint scrawled over and being accused of being daft enough to emulsion copper fucking pipes outdoors?

Or am I being sensitive?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 30/09/2022 21:42

Yep POA it’s not that hard to imagine

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:43

KosherDill · 30/09/2022 21:26

What a bunch of miseries on this thread!

I totally get you, OP. He was rude and condescending.

The house sounds adorable; any chance of you sharing photos? I know that could be outing but I love a good cottage. Have fun with your renovation.

There not much to show off atm it’s all in bits! Much of the walls needed a solid bit of filling and sanding and is just sat in white I’ve done a very pale sage in the lounge with a fussy paper on the chimney breast which looks cosy . I will ping over some pics of the nice fireplace and beams ( they’d glossed them white but that was 30 years ago and they were a nice shade of nicotine 😭!! I stayed up all night doing those and can proudly declare them ‘oak colour’again. I have no carpets atm just very big rugs which almost fill the floor . I have boys so a wood floor is better downstairs … so much to do . My youngest is ASD and oddly adored the hotel but struggled when he realised he was really not going back to his old place so after his little crisis I feel like I never want to move again . The garden is extraordinary , it’s old fashioned and long and rambling so I can get back into the veg growing that I used to enjoy back in Devon :)

OP posts:
Fluffygreenslippers · 30/09/2022 21:43

He was a knob. Some people seem to think renters are imbeciles, just because they happen to be renting. I still remember one landlady we had, who upon hearing our complaint of the boiler not working, started to explain how heating worked to my husband, who calmly replied he knew how heating worked as he had a degree in physics.

ChilliBandit · 30/09/2022 21:44

That sounds so wonderful OP!

FromageRouge · 30/09/2022 21:44

RJnomore1 · 30/09/2022 21:42

Yep POA it’s not that hard to imagine

I still think OP was brave to get involved in a swap like that. It must be a very motivating kind of house.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/09/2022 21:45

RJnomore1 · 30/09/2022 21:00

Well it sounds like he could improve his people skills but WHY on Earth would you decorate just before you get hearing fitted, especially for the first time? What a complete waste of effort 🙈 you’ll have to do it all again

This

RJnomore1 · 30/09/2022 21:45

My parents did it when I was about 3. Long story…

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:47

Fluffygreenslippers · 30/09/2022 21:43

He was a knob. Some people seem to think renters are imbeciles, just because they happen to be renting. I still remember one landlady we had, who upon hearing our complaint of the boiler not working, started to explain how heating worked to my husband, who calmly replied he knew how heating worked as he had a degree in physics.

This made me smile a bit! I have a Job that involves working with lots of computer stuff and I get ‘mansplained’ by the lads in the shop whenever I need to replace or repair my gear. I usually let them off a bit, but if they really grate me I’ll shut them down with a brief burst of geekery 😊

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 30/09/2022 21:50

You won’t get a say in anything as it isn’t your property, however you’re the tenant who lives there so he should be respectful of that.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:50

FromageRouge · 30/09/2022 21:44

I still think OP was brave to get involved in a swap like that. It must be a very motivating kind of house.

To be fair it was . It’s opposite the right school for my boy - nice area , good transport and I gained a big garden and a driveway and it has a lot of character and potential . So some sound, sensible reasons and also it just appealed to me aesthetically too . It’s old and well built , just needs some love , that’s all .

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 30/09/2022 21:52

Yanbu OP

I was once told by a letting agent that they couldn’t understand my concern about being made homeless because id get 6 weeks notice if the landlords house did get repossessed.

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:53

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:50

To be fair it was . It’s opposite the right school for my boy - nice area , good transport and I gained a big garden and a driveway and it has a lot of character and potential . So some sound, sensible reasons and also it just appealed to me aesthetically too . It’s old and well built , just needs some love , that’s all .

What sort of house did the old lady with dementia and a broken hip get? Did you exchange from a bungalow? or a house suitable for her needs?

KosherDill · 30/09/2022 21:54

The character, garden and fireplace sound like heaven! Enjoy!

gamerchick · 30/09/2022 21:55

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:39

I'm not sure how an old lady with dementia could consent to an exchange, But what do I know?

Well you could tell us about your council exchange and how it went. They're always a decent story.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:55

AppleKatie · 30/09/2022 21:52

Yanbu OP

I was once told by a letting agent that they couldn’t understand my concern about being made homeless because id get 6 weeks notice if the landlords house did get repossessed.

Oh well that filled you with confidence then? How utterly shit. I think those who see houses as a source of money sometimes forget that they are home to someone . We all go off to work and struggle through our days , having a safe and secure and pleasant place to lay your hat at night is crucial to emotional well-being .

OP posts:
colddayinhell · 30/09/2022 21:56

Wow, I would be so grateful if I was getting a new, free heating system in a secure, social housing tenancy in London! It's like winning the lottery.

Allalongthescotchtower · 30/09/2022 21:57

Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:53

What sort of house did the old lady with dementia and a broken hip get? Did you exchange from a bungalow? or a house suitable for her needs?

A ground floor, 2 double bedroom flat , new kitchen, new bathroom , nice decor and a big outhouse shed thing her mobility scooter went nicely into about half a mile from her daughters houses . Perfect for them .

OP posts:
Nameless3 · 30/09/2022 21:58

This reply has been deleted

trollhunting

MinnyMous · 30/09/2022 21:59

You don't have to put up with this kind of attitude and you do get to decide where the radiators are going even though you don't own the property. Contractors are supposed to treat you with respect. Make a complaint.

LuluBlakey1 · 30/09/2022 22:01

I wouldn't have him in my house. You are paying him to do a job that's really important in terms if how you use rooms in your house and he should be talking to you and consulting you. He sounds a twat.

Ramsbottom · 30/09/2022 22:05

This is such an odd thread. You sounded so grandiose with your cottage and beams and then you comment you’re council And a tennant, that it’s not your house. I’m sorry he didn’t understand your superior position though.

ChelseaRobertsofMalibu · 30/09/2022 22:06

Cas112 · 30/09/2022 21:05

You shouldn't be decorating yet and it's his job to go in and decide where the radiators will be and the planning of his work. Your just a tenant so you wont be involved in that part. Yes he could probably have better people skills but you will just have to get over this and let him get on with his job, this really wont involved you even if it is where you live

"Just a tenant?!?" I beg your fucking pardon?!? How dare you?

Dibbydoos · 30/09/2022 22:07

Some people even treat those who've bought a £500k house like that, OP. It's arrogance that causes it.

I'm a widow. Bought our house (Bellway), they fd up almost every room - water leaks, my stuff thrown away, threw the brand new fridge freezer over the base board and crumpled it so it was broken. They had to do lots of other remedial work too, made out it was all caused by me!

Honestly some workmen are DHs. Never buy a Bellway home!

category12 · 30/09/2022 22:07

Complain to the council - contractors are expected to behave respectfully.

FromageRouge · 30/09/2022 22:07

ChelseaRobertsofMalibu · 30/09/2022 22:06

"Just a tenant?!?" I beg your fucking pardon?!? How dare you?

Pay no attention. She can’t even spell “you’re” but she thinks she can condescend to the tenants who are paying half the country’s mortgages and propping up the property bubble.