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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this woman on my street "helping" with my bins every week?

227 replies

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 13:38

A woman on my street (about 5 doors away - don't know her name, she doesn't even say hello if she sees me) rushes out to put all the neighbours' bins back after the binmen have been. (Not sure how many other houses she does but it's not just mine.) I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window. It just feels unnecessary and intrusive. I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

OP posts:
OhMerde · 29/09/2022 19:46

TwoWrightFeet · 29/09/2022 16:36

I’d love to have a little woman on my street to do things like that for me. Enjoy it before she moves away and a man moves in and expects you to do it for him!

What else falls under, "things like that"?

2pinkginsplease · 29/09/2022 19:46

My neighbour puts my bins away not because he wants to peer in my window or because we leave them out too long but he puts them away because he is being helpful and is putting his own away so will put ours away too. End of. I’m thankful. I give him a few bottles of beer at Christmas time to say thanks .

whatsinaname2 · 29/09/2022 19:54

The very elderly man over the road always drags my heavy bin out if I forget, and every week he puts it back at the end of my drive for me as soon as the bin lorry has been. I bloody love that man, best neighbour ever.

TheOrigRights · 29/09/2022 20:20

Do you often walk about in your pants during the day (when I presume your bins are collected)?

If you do go to work you might appreciate her doing this. Also if you're out she might spot anything untoward happening in/near your house.

justusandmoo · 29/09/2022 20:46

@JustJustWhy oh ffs woman get a grip! She's bringing the bin in. Not even speaking to people! Not like she's forcing you to invite her in for tea 🙄🙄🙄

JudgeJ · 29/09/2022 23:27

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/09/2022 17:38

Only on MN would someone be pissed off about a neighbour doing something kind and helpful. YABU and ridiculous.

So many posts on MN are about how difficult people find life, juggling work, home, children etc. yet when someone removes one tiny job they're thought to be awful by some.

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 30/09/2022 00:00

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/09/2022 13:49

I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window.

What does the postman do? Couriers? etc Surely they can see in too? What are you doing in there? Sacrificing goats?
YABU.

😂😂😂

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 30/09/2022 00:09

Bookworm20 · Yesterday 14:51
perhaps pop out one morning and just say, oh Hi, thanks for getting my bins in. Which would be the normal thing to do, no?

🤔No.No?😂😂😂!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 30/09/2022 00:14

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/09/2022 17:16

I love the self appointed Bin Monitors who put away bins - I vote YES to Bin BusyBodies, as a wheelchair user they're ace.

On some streets it can look as if there's loads of room for bins out if parked tidy, and people to pass by.

1/ Most people underestimate the width of wheelchairs - or that a wheelchair user may have dogs or children they're hand holding alongside them.

2/ Most people underestimate the space and criteria required to manouvre a wheelchair, some need a lot of turn space, some struggle on a steep camber, they all need a flat surface without broken glass, wobbly flags, etc etc.

3/ When you're gone and your bins are out, they're having fun without you - people shove them about, kids drag them and leave them, people play silly buggers. So even if your bin men left them tidy, theres a strong chance they're not tidy by the time you get round to putting them away.

I do think its weird that someone has appointed themselves Grand High Poohbah of the Bin Tidying but if thats what makes her feel good, what the heck, let her.

It is ONE day a week to remember not to be nudey dancing to SClub 5' 6 '7 '8... you know it will happen, it's the morning after the evening you put it out...

Alternatively, go all out to burn out her retinas and do all the nudey dancing you like whilst staring right at her - ideally, rush to the door in the nip and invite her in for a naturist boogie.. She will NEVER look in your window again! (Or..she'll be your new starkers bopping bestie... win win!)

I've just wet myself😅

PickAChew · 30/09/2022 00:16

Whyishedoingthat · 29/09/2022 13:56

Our binmen leave the bloody things all over the place. It makes things really difficult for people with pushchairs/wheelchairs/mobility scooters to safely use the footpath. Maybe that’s her reasoning.

This. And if it is windy, there is a danger of them blowing into the main road. I've always tucked immediate neighbours' bins into the drive and they have done the same for us and we walk a bit further in bad weather to help avoid accidents.

Never occurred to me to either look through their windows or subject them to a potential eyeful.

CelestiaNoctis · 30/09/2022 01:02

Perhaps it's blocking wheelchair access on the pavement.

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 30/09/2022 01:23

Bin Laden 😎

mustbetheseasonofthewitch · 30/09/2022 02:17

YANBU. This is well-meant, but invasive.

NurseInTraining · 30/09/2022 02:27

We don't have wheelie bins in my area (we have two bin bags a fortnight) but if we did then I would love someone to bring the bin in for me. She sounds sweet but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe say to her that she doesn't need to do it and you will do it when you get home. Be kind though, don't make her feel like she is doing wrong as she seems to be trying to be kind.

Porcupineintherough · 30/09/2022 02:28

@JustJustWhy because your bin's blocking the bloody pavement, that's why. If the OP (or you) were to rush out and put the bin away, no one else would need to do it.

FlourPowered · 30/09/2022 03:27

@JudgeJ
So many posts on MN are about how difficult people find life, juggling work, home, children etc. yet when someone removes one tiny job they're thought to be awful by some.

Not awful but why not ask before doing something that involves going into someone's garden every week?

People are saying the OP should speak to the neighbour, but the neighbour could also have spoken to the OP before assuming that this is ok.

CrustyFlake · 30/09/2022 03:35

Hm, I get why it annoys you. I really hate people being on my drive (yes, even the postman, and yes, I know he is just delivering stuff!). I am a bit anxious and paranoid about people on my property, for reasons I won't go into. I accept that it's just a part of life and I have to get over it, but it does still catch me off guard and make me uncomfortable. So I wouldn't like a regular occurrence like this, which is totally unnecessary.

However, there is absolutely no way of speaking to her about this that won't make you look like a total arsehole. You just can't. I think you'll just have to accept it. Sorry OP!

Blinky21 · 30/09/2022 04:18

Put some clothes on and get your own bin in if you are there all day anyway

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 30/09/2022 04:25

Hello. Please stop bringing our bins in. Everytime you do it sets off the security system.

ZombieMumEB · 30/09/2022 07:30

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:11

Next time you see her doing it just say thanks but can you leave my bin and I’ll sort it unless I ask you to put it away (ie you’re on holiday).

I've never spoken to her. I said hi once, walking past her house but she just stared at me like "who are you?".

I would find this annoying.

I would think of something to say/do, that would discourage her from bringing my bins in.

How old are your kids? Could you tell her that your kids really enjoy helping to bring the bins in, and they get sad & upset when she does it.

ZombieMumEB · 30/09/2022 07:31

Of if you don't have very young kids, tell her that they get pocket money for bringing them in, and they are not happy when she does it as they miss out.

Johnnysgirl · 30/09/2022 11:04

mustbetheseasonofthewitch · 30/09/2022 02:17

YANBU. This is well-meant, but invasive.

Invasive?? How do some people get through the day?

Johnnysgirl · 30/09/2022 11:07

OhMerde · 29/09/2022 19:46

What else falls under, "things like that"?

Show quote history

Well, an Amazon driver left a parcel outside my house recently while I was out, in full view of the street, and a neighbour from down the street (not even next door, she was just passing by) took it in for me in case it was stolen.
That sort of thing.

bluegreygreen · 30/09/2022 11:10

It never fails to amaze me what Mumsnet users can find offensive.

No wonder so many people seem to have difficulty with their neighbours!

bluegreygreen · 30/09/2022 11:13

Though in all my time here I've never heard of a SAHM who is too busy to bring her bin in but spends time in the morning wandering round her living room in her underwear