To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

What point is that? That you get bully and mock with impunity but not others? Strange take but okay.

This has actually been one of the more sensible comments on here. The only issue with this is that if you look at the responses to this thread nobody can actually agree on what the baggage is.

Half the responses are "DB names are chavvy and council estate" and the other half are "they're snobby and grandiose".

I'd be able to better understand everyones seething anger and twisted knickers if everyone could agree on what it is they're angry about.

I'm not. It's a common response that when women stand aside from convention, even in as minor a sense as this, other women can get very testy about it and will immediately try to put them back into their box. In this spirit OP wrote: Absolutely fine if DB names aren't for you in your particular situation. But I was hoping for at least a bit of insight as to why it's such a problem when other people do it.

You've had it, OP, if not in the way those posters intended. Mercifully there are no laws here to say we can't call ourselves and our children what we like, but when a woman makes a different decision to that expected, sometimes other women take it as a personal affront.

I personally couldn't give a shiny shit what other women call themselves and their kids. But I am pig-sick of being informed I have no ownership over my name, nor autonomy over my identity, or that a child should have its father's name, or DC and I 'rechristened' with the imaginary moniker someone else thinks we ought to be called.

As to the 'nobody cares' point, people clearly do. They're invested. And I don't blame them. Then things really do get personal, especially toward the ones who don't bow to convention (cf. the selection of catty, spiteful DB 'creations' above).

Pathetic.

Don't worry I wasn't "having a go" it just sprung into my mind that episode of friends that's all.

I think go for it use the Dr title, you've earned it ☺️

Are you usually this quickly angered?

Again, where exactly did I do all of this apart from the one comment that was in response to someone who actually was doing what you're accusing me of?

I think this is either projecting or just taking out your personal troubles on me. Either way I hope things get better for you.

All of this. You said perfectly what I've been trying to. Funny thing is, if it wasn't for MN I'd have no idea just how vitriolic people are about DB names....

I take HUGE issue with people looking down on the poor of society. Takes a certain breed to do that.

You've had it, OP, if not in the way those posters intended. Mercifully there are no laws here to say we can't call ourselves and our children what we like, but when a woman makes a different decision to that expected, sometimes other women take it as a personal affront.

Oh yes, it's an insight alright. As these threads usually are.

The fact that all your posts are being deleted by mnhq and mine are not should tell you something, should it not? And you still haven't shown me this evidence of me doing such a thing yet you've made several nasty, personal attacks against me and my literal 4 week old.

Take your vitriol elsewhere and get some much needed help. 💐

I never mentioned your 4 week old! 😂

Flangelasashes Cantafford Thebillsthismonth
Flangelasashes Ontothe Lasttinofbeans
Flangelasashes Hadtosellthebaby Topayformefags

There you go. Putting people down who have no money or who cannot afford to put food on the table while you bleat on about how well off you are.

The post you reported where I called you a wannabe posh bird was deleted.

So you started off making out this was a feminist issue, but now I think it’s clear it’s a class one - you’re annoyed some people don’t see your kid’s DB name as some marker of high status, but as more of an aspirational lower MC one.

How can he enjoy a private education when he’s 4 weeks old?

3 of your comments have been deleted. And I haven't reported anything so clearly others are just as repelled by your idiocy.

Ah yes the comment that I literally referred to before and only commented as a direct parody of what you said to me (which has now been deleted - I wonder why?)

You claimed I was mouthing off about being better and grandiose? Where? 😂

I think one can assume that the private education will come a bit later. And thank you for pointing out what a horrible meanie I was to respond this way to someone who came here to sneer at me unprovoked.

You're completely correct that everyone should accept insults and never stand up for themselves. Do you miss your backbone?

I think ‘one’ needs to step away from the thread and calm down a little. You’re turning into one of those OPs who clearly can’t handle the heat in the kitchen.

If he marries someone double barrelled they'll do what the Spanish do and choose a name each. Or they'll pick one or the other. Doesn't matter.

They just want their name stamped on the child

Where have I not been calm? Unlike others on this thread I have not resorted to calling newborns twats nor have I made absurd and ridiculous assumptions about anyone's status based on their naming choices.

Frankly, I think it best that the people who are so invested in the surname of a baby they will never meet perhaps should step away for a bit. If other people's descions cause this much seething anger then perhaps a bit of therapy and a social media break would do the world of good.

Like I mentioned before there are dozens of nations where this is commonplace and it always works itself out. If anything it's nice that people can have choices...

I mean who here has actually met someone with over 10 surnames?...It doesn't work out like that...ever 😂

Why should they step away? You started a thread so people with opinions could reply. You’re trying to be all cool and detached about it but the ‘class’ element clearly touched a nerve. If you don’t want honest opinions don’t start a thread asking for them.

The poster who referred to my newborn as a twat for having a DB name was what touched a nerve actually but what a lovely thing for you to condone. You should be proud.

The post you're referring to is one where someone completely unprovoked accused me of being an 'aspirational wannabe and that's the only reason you're giving your baby this pretentious name'. I simply replied that this is a load of shit given that I'm fairly wealthy so that is not the case. THIS is what clearly set you off.

You're fine with snide insults and bullying but someone acknowledging their wealth in the face of it is a problem? So which is it? Do you just hate anyone who perceive to be higher class or do you have an inferiority complex?

😂

Thin skin or what! I rest my case.

Thin skinned? 😂You got offended by someone acknowledging their wealth. Apologies for the difficulties you're going through but you realise I am not personally responsible for you being poor, yes?

(Oh and I won't respond to your pm's. Why are you scared? Why can't you say what you want to say publicly?)

In my very limited experience of a DB marrying a DB

(I used to be a wedding planner and out of the hundreds of weddings I've done only one wedding was 2 brides marrying eachother with DB names)

They just chose the two names they liked best out of their DB names and joined them.

So
Miss John-Graham
And
Miss Lewis-Smith

Became

Mrs and Mrs John-Smith

What PM? What on Earth are you talking about? You’re making a fool of yourself now.