To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

This is how it's gone among many people I've spoken with on the subject. I think it's a perfectly respectable solution should this issue ever arise!

The only issue you will have of it bothers you is loss of a "family name" when children are born because you are effectively making a "new" surname.

But if you aren't concerned over passing on family names it's no bother.

But you could end up with grandchildren on the male line with different surnames to their grandfather, but again if that's not something you care about then yeah no drama.

Terribly sorry to inform you that you haven't been the most successful troll on this thread tonight. PM's and justifying insults are a bit on the nose even for the worst of trolls....

(Unsurprisingly, notice how its your comments getting deleted and not mine)

I obviously don't speak for everyone who DBs their name but I don't think there's ever really much concern over how DC deal with it as adults. If my son , for example, chose to drop my name later that would be his choice that I would wholeheartedly respect. It's more just the principle of bit wanting the default to be dad's name in every situation.

So I've requested this thread just be removed or even paused as a result of some trolling I've recieved that has resulted in a number of other users comments being removed and even someone private messaging me with some nasty things....just thought I'd give a heads up before it gets taken down (I'd not does, not entirely sure)

But thanks to everyone who offered some good insights into the subject and thanks for the supportive comments! 🙂

You do understand that the Catherine Tate “posh mum” sketch is taking the piss out of her for being pretentious? Which is why she has a double barrelled name.

it’s like the pretentious first name trends.

people are pretending it’s about keeping the woman’s name to make it look noble but in most cases it’s just trying to sound upper-middle class and failing dramatically.

i understand a bit more if a Rothschild wants to double barrel with a Hilton. But Smith Jones?

come on

Well historically it was done to demonstrate lineage and belonging to a family.

So I'm Celtic and Welsh, so many of our surnames when translated are sort of

Son of Gruffydd
Son of Llewellyn

That's where you get the "app" Gruffydd"

In Nordic countries you get "son of" or "daughter of" so think Thorisdottir" or "Eriksen"

Thor's daughter
Erik's son.

It was more about belonging and tribal than "being owned by a man"

I have no problem with it from a feminism side, women might not want to give up their surname, and they shouldn’t have to. I do think I’d just keep my name though and wouldn’t double barrel as I don’t like double barrelled names and I’m sure it’s a pain for the owner of the double barrelled name too. I have 3 DC, eldest I had when young and he has my surname, younger 2 have their dad’s surname, which is an Asian surname so doesn’t link to me in anyway. Has it ever bothered me? Not at all. I don’t feel any closer to the child with my surname and I didn’t feel cheated that I’d given birth to them and been pregnant for 9 months for them to have dad’s name. Made zero difference. People will always have opinions on double barrelled names so you best get ready for a lifetime of commenting about it

Absolutely this! Nouveau DB surnames are so
pretentious. They were always the preserve of the uppers. The amalgamation of two gentrified family names it had absolutely nothing to do with feminism, so. the posters who have claimed the double barrelling of surnames was a progressive move for women, you’re talking utter bollocks!

And it’s always a certain demographic that choose to DB their surnames nowadays 🤷🏻‍♀️ try hard couples….and usually WC desperately aspiring to be MC.

Nothing wrong with being WC, but folk trying to portray themselves as something they clearly aren’t makes me feel embarrassed for them.

@CarsonViolet “Half the responses are "DB names are chavvy and council estate" and the other half are "they're snobby and grandiose".”

Unfortunately they are both.

Tbh I think it’s a minuscule minority of people who even consider a double barrelled name as being representative of some kind of feminism. It’s Lord Snooty people think of.

@AndTwoFilmsByFrancoisTruffaut

I’m reminded of William Donaldson’s description of Stephen Fry; “ A stupid person’s idea of a clever person”, which is of course an utterly vile thing for ne to repeat but I think apt to your analysis and also quite funny.

Mumsnet feminism has officially gone down the drain if we're now claiming that women should give up their names so that they don't risk seeming 'pretentious'.

I think your inferiority complex is clouding your judgement. It seems a lot of you might just be using this thread to have a pop at people you hate for being better than you by your own whacked perception.

In the year 2022 nobody is double barrelling because they think it's posh 😂It's just the obvious move if you want your kids to see you and your husband as equals, and don't want your family life being clouded by patriarchy.

The handmaidens on this thread....yeesh.

"people are pretending it’s about keeping the woman’s name to make it look noble but in most cases it’s just trying to sound upper-middle class and failing dramatically."

What a load of absolute bollocks.

It's one thing not liking double-barrelled surnames, but it's quite another to chastise your child , especially their partner, for doing so rather than mind their own business!

If I chose a double-barrelled name and my inlaws criticised the decision or passive aggressively ignored it, I'd go ballistic! And I'm not one generally for confrontation...

No, it’s Stockholm syndrome; women coopting patterns of patriarchy. Manspreading, in a way; “idgaf look at my big massive long name that you must use every time you speak or write to me or about me.”
ffs just pick a fucking name. Two names. First name. Last name. You have this one simple job, it’s not an occasion to get jazzy.

Since this is anonymous, I'll admit I think double barrelled names are pretentiou

I don’t really care either way but at work I’m sending out lots of boxes every day and the school and contract name are hand written by me. If I get a double barreled one say Elise Whitehouse-O’Brien I just write Elise W. O’Brien.
I don’t have time to screw around with that.

Unhinged or just a good ol' fashioned troll?

How is it any different from writing a 17 letter surname? What would you do with that? Butcher it?

It's just sticking two names together with a - in-between. Treat it as one name if that makes it easier. Why is the - such a tricky thing !!

Jacob ReeSmogg

I swear they keep him in a coffin in Westminster, and he hangs upside down from the rafters after dark 😳

Excellent point here. No harm done if double barrels aren't right for you but I swear these people never come up with anything that isn't untrue or just petty. My surname has 14 letters so I can't begin to imagine the distress I've caused throughout the years....

I gave my children my surname. After all I went through there was no way I wasn't going to be named! They have his name as their middle name . There is no drama about this