To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

Nothing wrong with giving women/ couples/ children a choice. Up to them what they want to do with it after centuries of being forced into wearing a man’s name. Maybe even one day, men will take women’s name if they want to, without being judged for it. Up to people to choose, let them be.

Some of us have surnames we would not wish upon our children! As a couple with two surnames each (mine is technically a middle name that whole family shares, partner's is double barreled) it is a relief that we get to choose from multiple options to find something that won't automatically result in bullying rather than just subjecting them 'character building' for the sake of tradition.

I've had one all my life. And people used to say I was posh (I wasn't, my parents just weren't married and had their own names). I didn't understand until I got to uni and all the trust fund babies had double barrelled names, too.

And now I've married another double barrelled surnamed person. And we gave them one of each (I made my parents decide which). Except that my husband's country doesn't allow any freedom with name choices, and consider my 2 surnames as ONE. SO my eldest has ended up with THREE, YES THREE, very long surnames on his passport and it doesn't match his birth cert. However, I suspect this is a very unique situation.

To be honest, if there are any more comments, just say, 'well that's it. Let's move on'. We had to do this with the first names for our kids (they're very normal names), and my husband was firm, so that was the last of it.

I think that couples should create a new name that becomes their family name. It'd be a name that describes them somehow (like in the old days Taylor or Smith or Turner). So I and my DC would be the Wordsmithery family, or you could be Giraffes if you're all tall, or Chortles if you're comedians.
I'd love to see this catch on 😂

I agree with you. I know a man who is so disparaging of children with double barrelled names. He sees it as a sign of “unmarried parents” which he is disparaging of despite being with his partner and mother of his kids for 20 years before marrying.

I asked him what is wrong with a woman wanting her children to have her name too and he can never give an answer.

Your in laws don't get a vote. Simple as that.

My father in law continues to be disappointed I didn't change my surname when marrying his son. Oh well, so sad, too bad.

Damn it - I just saw that this was a 🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️ thread!

I'm 46 I have a double-barreled name from my Dad, He was given it by his parents who were trying to save some old family name . Say it is Smith-Jones. I hate hate hate hate hate it. I always shorten it to the last part then when I booking stufff and on my email as it is the shorter name. Checking in or registering I always have to say it might be under Smith or Jones . Spent my life spelling it out - explaining what a hyphen is. I let my kids have their Dad's surname even though we weren't married, so they wouldn't have to deal with it. Oh and I got bullied at school for being posh purely cos of the double barrel making me -POSH!

My kids have double barrelled surname. We are married but use our own birth surnames and we both wanted them to have our name so it was the only realistic option at that point. We did tell them that when they got to secondary school age they could choose to drop one entirely of their own choice with no pressure from either of us. Surprisingly (because the name is long and they've both moaned about how long it takes to write out) they both chose to keep it.

My son is an adult now and has had some academic publications published in his DB name so he said he "can't" change it now anyway. Interestingly he's now engaged and his fiancee is quite traditional so I'm wondering if she'll take his name or half of it, since she's from a country which doesn't really "get" DB surnames (or middle names either!)

I also saw a post on social media last night about Liz and Damian Hurley and amongst all the usual comments mocking his hair style and dress sense (yawn) a man had commented "Poor bloke, why isn't he allowed to even use his own surname?"

I assume he meant he assumed his legal/correct surname must be that of his father (complete crap, there is no such law). His own surname IS Hurley, it's (I assume) on his birth certificate and is the only one he has ever had. I dont think he ever even met his father who tried to deny parentage and is now dead. Why on earth should the arrogant sperm donors surname be considered the "real" one?

Many of my divorced friends would rather forget their ex. But their children are stuck with their dad’s surname. Double barrel is choice.

My ex mil was the same.

Ex h and I were married but I didn’t change my name (also a fucking scandal). So ds has both our names hyphenated.

they were horrified, even more so that my surname was first, then x h. That was purely as it sounded better and flowed. His name first would have sounded terrrible.

we divorced when ds was 9 and from then on, every birthday card to ds was address to just ex h surname. It always used to make me smile thinking of ex mil, writing it in anger thinking it would somehow upset me 🤣🤣