To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

Yes. It's not exactly the biggest challenge facing kids today.

"It’s the child’s early years teacher I feel sorry for first!

doubtless going to be given a full explanation of how and why this is DC’s full name & how it must be written."

I'm sorry but a teacher who doesn't understand the concept of DB names is not someone who should be teaching. Bit too thick to possibly be in charge of educating children methinks...

And what explanation? Why would anyone have to explain their name choice to anybody?

Really sorry if this has been answered already but I really don't have time to read everything - but it's something I've wondered about before......

When 2 people with different double-barrelled surnames have children, what surnames would they give the children?

(I only used my DH's surname after we got married because I really didn't like mine - lots of teasing when I was growing up. I think my daughter will probably just keep her surname when she gets married rather than double-up, but not sure what they'll do if they have children)

Just rude! Why do they think
its up for debate? I’ve got a double barrelled name and my kids have it too. My birth name is very unusual and my married name is really nice but normal. I love my name so there 😂

what a way to ruin someone’s character and personality at birth without giving them opportunity to shine for who they are. They’ll always be the person with the name they have to spell and explain!

You'll ruin your child's entire personality and character by giving them a double-barreled surname?

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving 😂😂😂

@Purple52 my husband seems to have coped ok with his double barrelled surname, as did his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great grandfather before him.

I mean that crazy Victorian who took his mother's maiden name and added it to his fathers to create the double barrel.

@Twizbe “I mean that crazy Victorian who took his mother's maiden name and added it to his fathers to create the double barrel“

Did the crazy Victorian take his mother’s name and hyphenate it? Or was his father obliged to double barrel his name for inheritance purposes because he married an heiress, ie married above his station. Because the latter double barrelled names normally originated. Inheritance & an obsession with pedigree. And that’s why double barrelled names have long been considered slightly ridiculous even among the upper class.

@Orangello “I know! Poor little Smith-Jones, struggling with his stupid name, see how easy life is for a properly single named Featherstonehaugh”

My surname is not far off Featherstonehaugh and, while it’s a beautiful name and I’ve never had a problem spelling it myself, I do need to spell it to other people every single fucking time. And I very often get asked about it, which is a bore, and between the two things I’ve thought very hard about changing it to Smith or Jones, but it’s very much linked to my profile as a professional now, so I feel it’s a bit late. So yes, while I don’t have a double barrelled name I do have experience of having a sometimes burdensome surname.

Isn't it!

No is the short answer.

He was a coal merchant and when he moved to London there was another coal merchant in the area with the same name (common first and surname) so he double barrelled to create a more interesting name. He picked his mother's maiden name rather than his wife's. Not sure why.

No inheritance, no pedigree, no country estate. Victorian middle class.

I’m not saying a teacher would be incapable or understand a DB name … just that it probably doesn’t fit properly on the blooming application form in the first place!

also in OP’s original post she didn’t include a hyphen!

so does it or doesn’t it include a hyphen? Or is it two surnames to be used together?

its answers to these questions, specific to the individual that I meant would need explanation. (Not the parental reasoning behind the structure, just their chosen spelling - kinda useful to know how to spell a child’s name, when you’re teaching them how to spell it! 🙄)

VERY CLEARLY (from this thread) a DB name means breaking from convention and thus the detail will need to be clarified. (Forever).

Obviously a family taking just one surname is a much cleaner system. However it means one party has to lose their surname, which women are increasingly less accepting of.

Traditionally it has always been the woman who has to compromise. Why can’t we live in a world where just as many men are willing to lose their surname?

I double barrelled as I didn’t want to lose my name and DH was not willing to lose his, so the compromise was for us both to DB. Luckily our surnames sound really natural together or it might not have been the ultimate outcome.

However, until men are just as willing as women to take their spouse’s names, DBing is necessary in order for women to have equality in marriage.

Double-barrelling I a pretentious and annoying

I hope you have told all those Spaniards and Portuguese that.

Yes, non-Anglos are just so annoying innit.

My son had Portuguese tenants and in my view it really WAS a problem. They had about 4 surnames each and a first and middle name. The tenancy agency made a right meal of it. The bank has massive problems now you have to type in the name of a payee but there is probably not space for the massive names and so much ID these days requires exact matching.
My neighbours are interesting - arranged marriage, Indian and the wife's second name, surname because her husband's first name on marriage so she has his first name as her surname and he has the surname he always had - that is on their property deeds too as that is her official name. I had to look up that area of India's tradition for names which was a new one on me

Don't understand the fuss. We chose to give our DC my name rather than DB. I carried and gave birth to them, so it didn't make any sense to us for them to take their dad's name. It's never caused any issue and family/friends have never (openly) made any comment.

My parents gave me both surnames. It was such a ballache and I hated it so started going by one name (my mother's name, but not because of preference, just because it came first so people tended to file.me under that letter). When I was old enough I deed polled it to just her name. I explained to my dad it was nothing personal and he is fine with it.
Tbh, I think its ridiculous that people place so much emphasis and identity on a surname (it's just an identifier), and even care whether a kid had their name or their partners. But that's just me.

Point being, you can do what you want, but don't be offended if your kid feels differently and changes it (either officially or through marriage). Because when you think about it and all the other myriad of ways you are linked and bonded to your child, a surname is neither here nor there

My children have double barrel surnames and people love giving negative opinions on it- even in front of the kids. Every family has a personal story- our business . It feels in England people are a bit lazy with long words, would rather pick a nickname and avoid pronouncing a long foreign name. Adding a couple of sylllables is simply too much hard work for some

Where does it end? Grandchildren with four surnames and great grandchildren with eight? It’s utterly ridiculous.

Yes, and there won’t be enough space in online forms to get all the names in.

do we need to resurrect a zombie from 2022 only to post the same old same old? I'm sure kids with double barreled names will be able to figure it out when the time comes.

I would double-barrel it myself but fine if others want to do it.

What I really think is stupid is giving kids a name that no-one can spell or which is a common name but with an uncommon spelling. A lifetime of having to spell their name to everyone.

I’m entitled to my opinion as you are to yours. No need to resort to personal abuse.