To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

Just get rid of surnames to save all the arguments.

I went to a posh college, and I can remember the various ‘common’ people who couldn’t wait to get married so they could give themselves a doublebarrelled name. I thought it rather pathetic

@CarsonViolet

Don't make assumptions as to why women change their name. For me I had a very boring very common short name, I ditched it for a more interesting last name (they would have been bizarre double barrelled). Others are estranged from their family and keen for a fresh start. Having the same last name is helpful crossing national borders, ask anyone who has older kids who haven't got the same last name!

I’m unmarried and gave dds double barrelled names. I’m a wealthy professional now but grew up on a council estate. So maybe it’s just my common nature coming through.

Fucked if I’m going to join the patriarchy because some snob thinks I’m common. They likely would anyway.

Cos it sounds pretentious - and tacky

All I can think of is how much longer it will take to sew on the name-tapes.
(Gets coat).

dont be ridiculous- no it doesn’t. It’s something they’ve been doing in Spain for years. Also dds can use whichever surname they like informally but have both for official documents.

Get the stickers - sewing name labels is a fool’s errand

Speaking as another chav with a few quid in my pocket these days, I actively enjoy the idea that the kids having both names is a lower class signifier. Excellent!

"DB names are pretentious and tacky" said the middle aged white lady who thinks england is the whole world 😂

having the second last name as a second middle name all around can be easier for all,

might as well not bother. I use my name (first, last) multiple times every day. Nobody cares about middle names.
Also, as so many people are worried about grandchildren and how the poor things will manage - your DC might want to live elsewhere in the future, many countries have much stricter naming laws and it is often not possible for them to give their children any other names than their actual last name. I've lived in several and in none of them can you use your middle name for that, never mind a random made up one.

Snort.

Spain is a nation of Hyacinth Buckets, it would seem.

@MsPincher
"They’re the only ones in their class with a double barrel- I say if anyone asks, tell them your mums a feminist."

Love that!

Just sounds very Council Estate, bruv

My mother's family had a tradition of giving the first born of the generation their maternal grandmother's surname as a middle name. I'm afraid I broke with that tradition though.

Fair enough. I'm sure my DS will cry hard about this as he lives in a large, beautiful home with two parents with high salary careers and enjoys a private education.

Shame that his council estate DB name will blind him to such privileges. 😂

Tbf to him, I said it more in jest than anything.

I liked my old surname but I didn't see it as something massively important to my identity. Not like my first name. I'd never change that. I've had my 'new' surname now for over a decade. I like it.

Nah. Names are like magnets that only attach to Y chromosomes. Women don't get names.

DH and I are married. We each kept our name because changing your name is strange. Our child has my surname. No need for mothers to be pushed aside.

Good luck with that

OP you only want people to agree with you - dontcha?

High Salary career on MN all afternoon monitoring your thread? Pull the other one

Maybe we should move to a variation on the Icelandic system. But instead of being your father's son or daughter, you're your father's son and your mother's daughter (the non-binary crowd won't like that but who cares, this isn't going to happen anyway).

So you have a couple Peter and Mary.

Their son Michael is called Michael Peterson and his sister is called Lucy Marysdaughter. And you keep your name when you get married.

If you only have one child or children of one sex, one parent loses out but that's swings and roundabouts.

I think it's a lot more progressive but then most things in Iceland are.

Plenty of high waged desk-bound careers involve project work, working for certain hours or working to certain dates, with down time in between. However you have to be available during certain hours in case an urgent issue crops up.

So it is very easy for myself and a lot of people I know to spend anything from an hour to a few days surfing the web.

@MadDogg2020 on the other hand I can be up past midnight finishing something or having a meeting with people in a different time zone.

With WFH it's loads easier than it use to be.

Well one of the best things about a fantastic career is the brilliant maternity leave benefits and pay, so I am rather enjoying being paid to have a natter on mumsnet with a 4 week old in my arms 😂Cheers!