To not understand why double barrel surnames are so wrong/bizarre to some people?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently registered the birth of my first child and gave him a double barelled surname. His name layout is Daniel Eric (My surname) (DHs surname). (None of these are actually my son's name just an example!)

In laws were visiting yesterday and were having a look at his birth certificate and were disappointed to see the surname. We did tell them that my name would be in there but apparently they just assumed it was a middle name 🙄

Cue all the 'concerns' and old fashioned twaddle about "It's just nicer and easier" and "what happens when he marries someone with a double barrel name" blah blah blah.

Am I being silly to have assumed that this crap was dead? Sure people have their own opinions on what they would personally do but to tell other people off about it?

Wanted a rant more than anything tbh but I just find it so bizarre that women wanting to share a surname with the child they carried and birthed is still contentious to some people 🤔

My parents gave me a double barreled name and I hate it and have found it very annoying throughout my life.

I'm very surprised this thread is still up honestly.

But, yes, mumsnet feminism seems to be its own strange brand in which women should only get respect and equality if it's "nice and easy" for everyone else 🙄

So you’re forcing your child to have to choose which one they prefer out of their parents name and which of you they are going to upset (speaking from someone who has a double barreled name)

This situation would only come up if they were to get married and neither Dh or I would he be upset. In the meantime, while they live under our roof being raised by both of us as equal partners, they will have both our surnames. What they choose to do as adults is none of our business.

I agree that if the child in this scenario has pushy parents who both pressure them to keep their respective name then that's pretty horrible but I can confidently say that that's not me or DH ( or any other parent I know who double barrelled)

Honestly most women I've planned weddings for who had a DB name just took their husbands partner singular name.

They seemed relieved to get rid of it in some cases.

The men though, they were a bit "stuck" no way to easily offload it, and I found the Bride's to be having a little bit of difficulty knowing they were going to have a DB name. One Groom did take his wife's name though to offload the DB name and that was his reason to me and the registrar. 😂

Nah. Stephen Fry was 'Lord Snot'. It was Emma Thompson who was 'Miss Money-Sterling'.

Jeezum, what place of cultural desert is this? Education, education, education. Begone to Footlights College ... or would that be 'up Scumbag?'

I hope they keep it. Apologies if it's contrary to your wishes, as clearly DMs and some of the deeply personal insults being bandied around are not great.

But aside from this, it's a laugh a minute ... 😂

u wot

Yes, quite.

I think surnames should be done away with and replaced by numbers.

Sadly all of the children I know with double-barrelled surnames are from the try-hard, shiny Range Rover driving, Labrador-owning, skiing set who want to be seen as being double-barrelled. Generally, if they say ‘darling’ very loudly as part of their normal conversation, it’s a dead cert.

The actual wealthy, genuine upper class old money types either have old family names or see one surname as more than adequate. No calling card necessary. I’m not buying the feminist idea in most cases.

Gosh well we can’t all be old money. They are our betters of course.

why shouldn’t a child be named after both it’s parents? It’s entirely a feminist issue.

Lol. “£50 from my father”

You people have such wild imaginations.

Are these try hard, range rover driving, Labrador loving people in the room with us now?

I wonder if it is regional?

A third of kids in my DC’s schools had hyphenated names. S London. Amongst DC’s friends, A mix of single mums, married, co-habiting, and spanning working class and m/c professionals alike. It is considered pretty normal.

Not my experience at all.

But in non leafy S London we have high density social housing and non-range-rover owning professional / media / teacher types who are all equally as likely to give their kids the names of both parents.

Lol. All the Range Rover types at my kids school gave their kids their dads name. It’s just me with my feral mongrel and pos car who double barrelled.

Probably is.

No-one bats an eyelid about my DD's name until they realise we both are British.

My DD actually has friends whose parents come from Spain, Portugal etc. so they gave multiple names.

Added to that people in London and cities are more likely have been in contact through education and work, or be friends with Europeans who have multiple last names.

Plus lots of other nationalities
don't follow English naming conventions e.g. you keep the name you were born with through out your life.

MN on class never disappoints!

ffs just pick a fucking name. Two names. First name. Last name.

Oh how shocked you will be when you find out about middle names...

My DC have 2 parents. We both have our own last name - the ones we got when born. No, mine isn't a loaner name any more than his is. Why would we want to actively drop one?

This is hilarious.
I don't have a labrador (or any pets), can't ski (no interest in sports), and don't darling anyone. I don't drive and I don't care much what people think of me in general.
The other DB people I know. One rides a bicycle, works for a bat rescue group and plays in a folk band. The other is self-employed and doing quite well for themselves.

As others have said, in other cultures it is not unusual.
Perhaps some form of inverse snobbery or judgy-pantery is at play?

People should use whatever name they are comfortable with using. Doesn't matter if I like it, or would choose to use it for myself, its not my name and not my business.

shiny Range Rover driving, Labrador-owning, skiing set

Jesus I missed that, what's wrong with skiing now?

I don’t see DBing as a class issue - it’s very much a feminist issue these days. The people saying otherwise sound like incels trying to take women down a peg or two.

Historically when women married they belonged to their husband and didn’t have the right to vote or own property etc. So while it’s traditional to take the man’s name, it’s for all the wrong reasons.

Why in this day and age should a woman automatically take her husband’s name, and why should their children not also carry their mother’s name?

DBing isn’t a perfect system as inevitably the next generation will have to drop a name when they get married so as not to triple or quadruple barrel. However it is much more equal.

If people want to take just one name they prefer then that’s fine too. Point is it should be a personal choice not open to judgement and criticism.

OP:
They have become something that some people use because they are unmarried. In the past they were used to denote the joining together of two aristocratic families but these days they are tagged on to names like Demi, Jai, Harper7 etc. Not classy.

I associate it with lower class people, not the aspiring middle class as has been suggested above.