Wedding card at work - am I being petty?

[Isitpetty]

I've been asked and reminded twice (in group settings) to sign and donate to a colleague's wedding card. I did not know that he was getting married and have only ever had a small number of dealings with him - I pass him in the corridor and say hi every few days and that's it. His office is next door to mine but we rarely see one another. I've worked in the organisation for maybe 7 years and he's been here 3 or 4.

I got married in autumn 2020 and received no card, money or texts from these work colleagues so I am feeling a bit put out at the repeated requests for money. I don't want to give him money but would sign the card if that could be done without looking tight.

If someone asks me about it again should I admit that I got nothing for my wedding so I am not contributing or just kick to touch. Would I look petty to make the point about my wedding being ignored?

Did you talk to anyone about your wedding? Did you ask for suggestions about the menu or bridal shops and generally share your excitement with your colleagues? Did you invite anyone? I’m guessing no, because otherwise you would have had ‘friends’ who would have organised a card & presents for you.

That’s how it works at my work place anyway. If you are bothered by this, and I think you are because you’ve posted about it, you need to raise your profile. Bring in treats, go on nights out, talk to them about they’re lives, ask them how they are if they’ve been off sick. Do you do these things?

If you want to be noticed in the work place then you have to make an effort to get involved. Then you will get people who will want organise things for your birthday etc.

I’d be annoyed too OP - you shouldn’t feel forced into giving any money, the fact that you didn’t get anything for your wedding is just an extra reason IMHO.

a simple “no thanks” should suffice

There was a woman where I worked, VERY unpopular and unpleasant. She left at the same time as a more popular colleague. Both cards and collections left at reception for people to sign, one collection was large and the other was empty. Some busybody took it upon themselves to use money from one collection to boost the other which had nothing in it. We were furious!

I don't donate to any collections unless it's a colleague I actually care about. I could care less what people think. There's at least 2 collections a month.