Im not talking about the emotional aspect of it and the possibility of it not working

Well usually that's exactly what people are talking about!

I suggest you ask for this post to be moved to the fertility boards.

Pre ivf, Clomid medication, can give side effects.

IVF daily injections you have to administer yourself, multiple hospital visits constantly to and fro with appointment, multiple intrusive medical examinations similar to having a smear test, stress/anxiety.

And then the emotional aspect on top of all of this.

Some people do find it gruelling, some struggle with the hormones, injections etc.

I personally found it to be a walk in the park, had no issues, was actually less hormonal on my meds than usual (DH was expecting to deal with a dragon wife for weeks but was pleasantly surprised)

But we were lucky, our first round was very fruitful, 19 eggs, 15 fertilised and 14 made it to day 5, we had two successful transfers and no losses. But I can see how failed cycles can make such a huge impact on others so can see why people do find it gruelling

the gruelling part is kinda interlinked with the whole 'spending life's savings on medical treatment that may well not work' aspect.

All this. The possibility of things going wrong, the drugs not working like they should, follicles not growing like they should.

It's not always physically hard... but you do have to do injections, sometimes two different sets, the medication your given can give you terrible side effects and the egg collection can sometimes be painful. It's all dependant. But yes, usually when people are discussing their journey with IVF it's most likely the emotional aspect that is the hardest. Oh and the wait !!! The wait for everything is the hard part too.

The emotional aspect is an enormous part of why treatment is "grueling."

The treatment itself is painful. Egg retrieval is not fun. Treatment also involves a heavy load of hormone stimulating and suppressing medications and there are side effects to those, along with potential risks like ovarian hyperstimulation (also painful.)

It's exhausting. Treatment takes time. There's regular bloodwork, frequent ultrasounds, constant monitoring done in the specialists' office. Appointments are sometimes daily.

I thought it was worth it. Some people don't, and I can see why.

I'm a bloke and I can only comment on what I observed my wife go through and I think 'grueling' is exactly what it is. She essentially became a pin cushion, most injections she administered herself in her stomach, I had to administer a very painful injection each evening in the top of her bum. After a few weeks she was black and blue with bruises. Throw into the mix the toll of a hormonal rollercoaster, the constant visits to the clinic for blood tests, the hope after small 'wins' and the crushing disappointment after bad news it essentially physically and emotionally kicks the shit out of you.

The level of strain the process will cause depends on your situation and circumstances.

You need to consider the financial aspect too, we weren't eligible for NHS funding, and spent £15k on our cycle, for many women their fist cycle isn't successful, so that's money down the drain. Some women don't get any eggs, or any embryos that make it to day 3 or 5.

For me personally it was partly the time commitment and the fact that you couldn't ever put it to the back of your mind. Daily injections, frequent scans, blood tests etc and I was also very mindful of my diet so it kind of feels like a full time job. The impact of the hormones also affect your moods and make you feel pretty bloated and sluggish. I talked about it with a few select friends and family members as I imagine it would be hard to keep it a secret from everyone without isolating yourself. Very tricky from an employment perspective too with the constant appointments. Do-able for a one-off cycle but if it doesn't work first time as it doesn't for most people, it becomes very time consuming indeed.

Mostly it's emotionally hard, but there are physical hardships too. The medications are hard on your body, with a medically induced menopause followed by multiple injections each day to make your follicles go into overdrive, so your ovaries go from the size of an almond to the size of an orange in two weeks. Then you have lots of hospital visits for scans (mine were daily for a while). Then you have egg retrieval, usually under heavy sedation. Then you hope the embryos can go back in, and have the transfer, followed by the dreaded 2 week wait.
It is hard, but it's also massively worth it if it works. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, but it was definitely gruelling.

It's chicken and egg (no pun intended). If it results in a baby, it was worth it.

Or knowing you have a time limit on age to get approved for NHS treatment, which can vary by postcode.

I had a tough menopause, but it was nothing, hormonally speaking, compared to a relative that I supported going through IVF. She had the mood swings, anxiety, bloating, headaches etc. She looked like she had permanent flu/exhaustion. Unfortunately she was never successful. However another relative didn't have it quite so tough and did carry her baby to term, so obviously considered it well worth it.

My IVF was years back so things have moved on a lot now I expect.

Aside from the emotional aspect (which by the way was massive),

• some of the drugs made me very tired
• I found extraction & implantation both very painful and ended up needing more sedation than would usually be needed
• during one round I ended up in excruciating pain at home (I think it was something to do with air bubbles)

Impossible to say whether you’ll think it’s worth it, if it works then yes obviously it is, when it doesn’t then no it’s not.

For us it did initially work, and then I had a miscarriage, it’s much more complicated than ‘just do ivf’.

What everyone else said, plus, my wife felt it every single time the needle went in and out at egg collection. The pain relief barely worked so she felt the needle and everything.

Don't go into it thinking it's going to be a pain free walk in the park. It probably won't be and if it is then you're lucky.

She should have been put under for collection.

Not everyone finds IVF tough, some manage it okay. I personally found it incredibly tough because:
-I desperately wanted to be a parent, had always wanted to be a mum, and struggled hugely with the unfairness of it all
-Becoming a parent is so utterly life changing, I found it very difficult not knowing if or when it would happen for me. We couldn't plan career moves, house moves, getting a pet etc because I didn't know if I would have a baby in a year, five years or never
-As with all types of grief/trauma, you and your partner (if you have one) aren't always on the same page in terms of how much you are affected, so it can put a strain on your relationship. While my partner was fully on board, he didn't feel as strongly about becoming a parent as I did and we both struggled with that.
-The financial strain meant we couldn't go on holiday and had to cut back on all the treats that would have made it more bearable. I comfort ate and put on weight so I felt like shit.
-The process from starting the injections to knowing whether it has been successful is about a month, it's actually quite a long time to live in such horrible limbo

I personally didn't mind the physical effects half as much as the emotional effects but some people find the physical side of it very hard. The emotional side was torture for me but I know that's definitely not the case for everyone, circumstances are everything.

I've no particular expertise in the field but years ago when i was a junior doctor and IVF was relatively new to the NHS I had some experience of looking after women when they came in for egg retrieval and it looked quite gruelling to me. I saw quite a lot of women who experienced ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, some serious and that was certainly extremely unpleasant for them. As I say, it was quite a long time ago now and i haven't got any recent experience so hopefully the techniques are better with less complications now, but it looked like an arduous undertaking to me, physically as well as emotionally.

I didn't find it tough but I was 27 and quite naive. The meds were fine, no side effects. I actually felt great (a bit high- don't know why). Overall I had a positive experience and my first try resulted in my dc. I think if it hadn't resulted in dc and I had to do it again I might have a different perspective.

I think my DH actually found it tougher than I did. He hated seeing what I had to go through.

For me, physically, I don’t think it was as bad as it can be for some women. I had major bruising from the injections but that wasn’t a big deal. I was, however, in incredible pain after the first egg retrieval and don’t think I had adequate care or pain relief afterwards. DH was looking after me after I was discharged and I can still remember how worried he looked when I was repeatedly throwing up. The second egg retrieval was handled better but implantation was (briefly) very painful due to a doctor being an idiot.

Emotionally, I didn’t have major mood swings but I was very conscious that this was our last chance and it was costing our life savings. All my hopes and dreams were pinned on a statistically small chance of a positive pregnancy test. That made things fraught.

And possibly grueling in the sense that I couldn’t just take a day off from the process. It was all or nothing once we had made our decision to pursue IVF. It was always hanging over my head and left little room for thoughts of anything else.