To wonder why IVF is often referred to as 'gruelling'

[daysayso]

This post isn't to undermine anyone who thinks it's tough but I'm asking because I am considering it in the coming months and despite doing research I can't see what makes it so tough?

Im not saying it isn't tough btw but genuinely wanting to know what makes it so hard?

Im not talking about the emotional aspect of it and the possibility of it not working as I know about that but the logistics of it - is it painful? Ignoring the emotional aspect what makes it so hard?

Thanks in advanced

[Fluffyowl00]

Oh OP I had three rounds of mild IVF and I didn’t find it ‘gruelling’ at all. Yes you do have to go to the clinic every other day and inject yourself (and I am very squeamish) but egg collection is under sedation now and it resulted in my lovely daughter (at 41). I think the hardest thing will be if it doesn’t work but you won’t know of you don’t try. And I found it much better than two years of naturally trying and failing. So much disappointment there. If you want any more info please DM me Good luck xx

[BeachStripes]

I didn’t find it too bad but we were in a slightly different position - we did IVF with genetic testing as our child has a genetic condition we didn’t know we were carriers for until he was born so it wasn’t technically for fertility reasons - we had conceived naturally before, we had a child already and also we were busy with a toddler and I was also busy at work so no capacity to get too lost in Google rabbit holes. I also was on a short protocol so didn’t need to have all the down regulation or induced menopause.,

The injections were manageable, didn’t think I had too much in the way of side effects although I did realise a few weeks after that I felt a bit better. I didn’t become crazy or irrational. It was a bit complicated trying to arrange work and treatment.

There’s a fair bit of waiting and a lot of results at different points to digest. I found the drop off of numbers a bit shocking even though I knew it happened. Number of eggs collected, number they are mature, number that fertilise, number that make it to day 5, then for us number that weren’t affected by the condition.

I wouldn’t say don’t do it based on the physical stuff. And as for the emotional stuff of course that’s tough, I’d think deciding not to would have a big emotional impact too.

[Mamai90]

I wouldn't describe my experience as 'gruelling', not even emotionally. I was a bit detached if I'm honest, and I think it might have been that although I wanted a baby I wasn't quite ready to give up my lifestyle yet. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a process I enjoyed and the scans and legs in the air kind of stuff while everyone was gathered round was obviously not my idea of fun.

I found the injections no bother and the hormones didn't affect me either so that part was a breeze but I would still hate to have to do it all again. The hardest part it the two week wait and then worse, the three wait for the first scan. I got pregnant but miscarried. So that part was obviously very difficult. I was lucky enough to eventually get pregnant naturally in the end but I'm sure I would have continued with ivf had I not.

I got through the process absolutely fine but looking back I think 'Christ that was tough'. I'd even forgotten how hard it was til I actually wrote this all down!

[Lalliella]

It’s a lot to go through physically with the drugs, blood tests, internal scans, driving to and from the clinic every other day etc. And it’s a lot to go through emotionally with worrying about whether the eggs will develop, whether they’ll fertilise, whether they’ll implant, whether you’ll miscarry etc. Plus the financial cost.

I was so lucky that it worked for me twice, and now it feels like it was nothing to go through at all, because the end result was so so worth it. But I’ve got friends who it didn’t work for, and it was so tough for them.

Does your clinic offer counselling? It might be worth talking to someone about it.

Good luck OP

[Mamai90]

@spinduffy

In Northern Ireland nhs cycles there is no sedation or anaesthesia for egg collection. You can have gas and air!!!! Bloody horrendous.

I’ve had several transfers. One was horrifically painful and the rest were very straightforward and largely painless. No idea why that one hurt so much.

My friend had NHS ivf treatment in N.I. She got 22 eggs and said the pain was fucking horrendous, she said she could barely walk afterwards as she was in such a state after her ordeal and couldn't stop shaking. This was 5 years ago so not sure if it's still the same because it's barbaric!

[anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled]

@candycaneframe

Some people do find it gruelling, some struggle with the hormones, injections etc.

I personally found it to be a walk in the park, had no issues, was actually less hormonal on my meds than usual (DH was expecting to deal with a dragon wife for weeks but was pleasantly surprised)

But we were lucky, our first round was very fruitful, 19 eggs, 15 fertilised and 14 made it to day 5, we had two successful transfers and no losses. But I can see how failed cycles can make such a huge impact on others so can see why people do find it gruelling

Well of course you would find it a "walk in the park" with an IVF experience like this

14 blastocyst and 2 successful transfers is certainly not the norm

[Gagaandgag]

I personally have many happy memories of our ivf. 6 years of miscarriages and infertility leading up to it. IVF was our saviour- I actually looked forward to each injection with excitement - the staff were excellent. Me and my DH got to spend extra time together when we should have normally been at work. And we conceived our son. I look back and have very fond memories.

I know of people who have been trying to conceive via ivf for many many years and I can definitely see why this could be emotionally gruelling.

Everyone has a different story to tell but ours is a happy, non gruelling one. Good luck to you with yours

[Aw273]

Ovarian hyper stimulation is very painful, and gets worse if you successfully get pregnant- of course it’s then worth it all!

[WarmBeerAndSandwiches]

It depends what you find gruelling. I live with a chronic autoimmune condition so I didn't feel much worse than usual most of the time. I think it must be harder for people who are used to feeling healthy all the time. I didn't find egg collection painful at all so I'm a bit baffled to hear that it was for some people (though obviously I believe them as everyone's different). The daily oestrogen injections were painless but the injection into the bum to stimulate ovulation was a bit uncomfortable, thankfully that's only done once per cycle.

I am not really phased by internal exams etc but if you find them a trial then you will need to get used to them for IVF. By the time it was finished I was used to showing my bits and pieces to all and sundry.

I didn't get pregnant after three lots of IUI and two lots of IVF. I chose not to continue as I was over forty by then and had had enough of my body not feeling my own. My DH and I would have been very happy to have a child but we were never desperate and have gone on to live a very happy childless life. However, I did meet people at the clinics who seemed completely distraught and caught up in it all and I did really feel for them and hope they were able to get pregnant or find some way to come to terms with it if they didn't.

[WarmBeerAndSandwiches]

I forgot to say, I was put under general anaesthetic for egg collection, I thought everyone was!

[IVFGotThis05]

@robertpaulson

Two week wait until the next two week wait ad infinitum!

Yes !!! OP said she won't mind the wait as she has ttc for 3 year, so what's a couple of month!

I only hope she is that lucky ! I know some people are !

For other's though... the wait!!! And I continue to wait! I'm currently doing down reg injections, It's only been 1 week and I feel like its been forever 😂

[YouSirNeighMmmm]

I don't want to answer your question, but based on observing what others have been through I am now of the belief that there is an argument that it should be made illegal because it is too hard a burden on the women going through it. I'm not saying I agree with the argument, but I think it has some merit and it should be viewed as a much more extreme medical thing than it is, and the aim should be to reduce the numbers of women who feel they need to go through it.

[OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit]

Everyone is different and their experience is unique, even from cycle to cycle.

I didn't find pregnancy grueling, it was a breeze for me but I totally get that for people with HG, SPD etc it was a much tougher gig. One of my friends was pregnant at the same time as me after a couple of month off the pill so her journey to pregnancy was much easier and quicker than mine, but while I had a symptom free pregnancy she had every possible complication. She couldn't understand how I went the full nine months without ever needing the see the GP.

I didn't find IVF particularly physically grueling it really was the emotional and mental aspects that were at times brutal but I had short protocol and no adverse reaction to the drugs. That doesn't mean that I dismiss the experiences of women that were on more demanding protocols or had a great physical reaction to the drugs. It's not a competition to see who suffered most (or indeed least).

[future1]

@YouSirNeighMmmm that’s ludicrous and patronising. Most people don’t have an extreme physical experience and as many have explained the really hard part is dealing with the fact that you could end up childless. If you ban IVF we will definitely end up childless!! It at least gives us the chance to try.

[TimandGinger]

@candycaneframe

Some people do find it gruelling, some struggle with the hormones, injections etc.

I personally found it to be a walk in the park, had no issues, was actually less hormonal on my meds than usual (DH was expecting to deal with a dragon wife for weeks but was pleasantly surprised)

But we were lucky, our first round was very fruitful, 19 eggs, 15 fertilised and 14 made it to day 5, we had two successful transfers and no losses. But I can see how failed cycles can make such a huge impact on others so can see why people do find it gruelling

This was my experience too (conceived no problem for first, ivf which worked easily for second) but my consultant told us we were exceptionally lucky. I don’t know whether to give this as counterweight to the really crushing stories or not. It can work and be no bother. But I think that’s not the norm.

[KimberleyClark]

I do worry though about people as mentioned who have been doing it for 10 years and spent £100k. I don’t think that’s healthy and I find it shocking that medical professionals are still willing to take their money.

[TimandGinger]

Oh and yes very true that you’ll spend every appointment with the doctor looking up your bits. Without it we’d never had our daughter though.

[readingismycardio]

to every single one of you who went through IVF.

[OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit]

@TimandGinger

Oh and yes very true that you’ll spend every appointment with the doctor looking up your bits. Without it we’d never had our daughter though.

I was asked if I minded a student midwife at my son's birth - I said I didn't see why not, she shouldn't be the only medical professional in a 20 mile radius that hadn't seen my fanny! As the lead midwife was familiar with our journey she laughed and asked if I wanted her to check if anyone else on shift hadn't had a look!

[LegoFiends]

@JP3264

Just curious, did anyone who have a bad experience physically do short cycle/"mild" IVF?

I did three short, one mild, and had minimal discomfort. It seems like the long cycle is tougher.

[MMoon23]

-multiple different medications
-three injections a day
-the physical/mental side effects of all of the above
-the way the hormones changed my body and the way it felt (I felt I was experiencing pregnancy before I even had the transfer
-the regular scans /internal scans
-the 12weeks of vaginal/anal pessaries

-not knowing if it was even going to work. Constantly feeling terrified it could fall apart at any moment, that it would all be for nothing. The pressure of each of the many many stages.
-painful egg retrieval
-long week waiting for news on if the embryos were developing
-long 2 week wait to test!

then if it’s a positive, to just be at the very start of the journey (4 weeks pregnant) with all the usual worries and risks of any non IVF pregnancy, but feeling like it’s been going on for a loooong time already

[TimandGinger]

@OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit

I was asked if I minded a student midwife at my son's birth - I said I didn't see why not, she shouldn't be the only medical professional in a 20 mile radius that hadn't seen my fanny! As the lead midwife was familiar with our journey she laughed and asked if I wanted her to check if anyone else on shift hadn't had a look!

By the time I had ivf I’d already had my first and birth took a while, then c section so I felt like every doctor in London had looked up my fanny. I didn’t care mind you. Just wish I’d not been so bashful about my body when I was young and slim 😕

[fallinover]

I remember going for my 12 week scan on the NHS and starting to take my clothes off.
The sonographer laughed and said the ivf ladies were all the same, we all started stripping automatically.

[Milkand2sugarsplease]

Hormones play havoc with your body at the best of times - pmt, fluctuations etc. ivf involves pumping yourself full of hormones that can have many different side effects on you.

I approached my ivf from a very practical stance and I'm lucky I'm not afraid of needles, not worried about clinical settings and didn't have many bad side effects apart from the oestrogen in my frozen cycle.
Your injection site gets sore from keep doing them which can make it difficult for some people to keep doing them - were programmed to shut down to anything we know hurts.

The emotional aspect is tough because you're leaping into the unknown, putting all your faith in something that has, really quite poor odds of success knowing it's your only hope.

I was tired more than anything - from the early mornings having to be in clinic 45 mins away at the crack of dawn but also from the adrenaline and hope that keeps you going during the endless blood tests and scans.

It's a clinical procedure to the staff you see every day but to you it's absolutely everything and that's exhausting in itself.

[Phrenologistsfinger]

@LegoFiends

I did three short, one mild, and had minimal discomfort. It seems like the long cycle is tougher.

I’ve done 4 short protocol rounds. No downregulation for me. Still had side effects though!