Family want to take my children on holiday but we don't feel comfortable

I haven't RTFT but I'm guessing your brother doesn't have any children, and that he has maybe woken up to the fact that your DS is getting older and he hasn't spent much time with him. I think it's completely understandable, but I also have some sympathy for you not wanting to send your son that far away on his own. But you could encourage your DB to come over to the UK and to take DS away for a week in the UK, for instance. Before that, it would be a good idea for them to get to know each other over Whatsapp or whatever. Then maybe next year your DS could make the trip to Australia, which would be a wonderful opportunity for him.
There comes a point when you have to think of your children as individuals in their own right, with their own lives to live. On their behalf, you are turning down opportunities for development, fun, new places, new experiences. I'd say that you are discouraging independence and "personal growth". I know young people who have been "protected" like this, and it really does them no favours.

@lovingmother82 if your brother has made an effort from afar. E.g. FaceTiming, sending cards for birthdays but has just been blocked from doing more by either yourself or distance then I think you need to relax and let your kids go.

Also he may be willing to pay for the ticket.

Your brother is bonkers!!
It's too far and they are all too young
Parents not so much, I remember going away with my grandparents and bother to Jersey when I was young, had a fab time.
It was not a yearly event tho.

It's great that you and DH agree.

Just say no together. It's your parental right. They will have to lump it. They're your kids.

OP does your brother have any children of his own. Is he doesn’t it makes the whole thing feel so strange to me.

YABU

You will come to regret not allowing your kids to go. These close family relationships can only really be built up on a 1:2:1 basis. You cannot put a price on these memories with family.

My mums sister offer to take me across Europe when I turned nine as a birthday present for three weeks. My mum wouldn't let me go for safety reasons. My aunt died and I have never quite forgiven her for not letting me go. I have still never been to Europe, and I never got to know my mum's sister.

A group family trip to Europe with my aunt would have been no where near as exciting as going just the two of us.

I wouldn't worry about children of this age being 'spoilt' by trips abroad; that is viewing things through an adult lens, where what the trips cost is very salient. I would, however, worry about their being away from home for significant periods with relatives whom they may not know well, and may not understand or accept their childish quirks, or even more serious needs. And right now, there may be more disruptions than usual in getting back if any problems arise, even from somewhere relatively close like France, let alone somewhere as distant as Australia.

I think the grandparents' idea of taking the children on holiday is rather nice (assuming that they are generally responsible people). I would, however, ask that the first time they should 'practice' by going somewhere in the UK. This would enable you all to make sure that the children, especially the 5-year-old, can cope with a trip away from their parents before trying somewhere further; and also would hopefully make it possible for some of the current travel disruptions to settle down first - you could bring that up as a reason. Perhaps they could make a UK trip at Christmas or Easter, and, if that works well, a trip abroad next summer.

As regards the uncle in Australia: I think that going to the other side of the world with a relative whom he hardly knows would be a bit much even for your older child. Although I obviously don't know him, I think that it's unlikely that he has sinister motives. However, if he's the sort of person who thinks that moving to the USA is 'near to family' in the UK, he may be an adventurous, risk-taking type, and might encourage your son to take risks as well. And even if not, Australia is about as far away as you can get. I'd say no to that one, at any rate until your son is quite a bit older.

I see no problem with your parents wanting to take your children places, travelling, even travelling abroad. Portugal or other Western European places for a week - great. The 11 year old is old enough to go further away, but not the younger two especially the 5 year old.

it is odd that you’d not be welcome to go to Australia. That one is ofd and I’d ask why you’d be excluded.

I grew up going places with my maternal grandparents. We would each (of my siblings and I) have our own time visiting the grandparents. As the middle child, I absolutely loved these visits and trips.

The tradition followed with my own child, not only with my patents z(when they could) but also my eldest with my grandmother. He loved visiting her.

Sadly once we moved continents meant these trips/visits were greatly curtailed but benefitted everyone.

Because people without kids can't enjoy spending time with close family members?

This is insanity! You can't send an 11 year old all alone on a flight to Australia to meet a virtual stranger, regardless who is paying. And you DEFINITELY cannot send an 11 yo accompanying a 7yo or even a 13 yo accompanying a 9 yo, it is too much responsibility.

I think you say to DB "what a lovely idea! I think DS would really enjoy that when he is 15 or 16 years old, if we have saved enough money to send him to university and can still afford the flights hahaha!"

For the DGP in your situation I'd be more flexible. I'd definitely let my inlaws take my DD when age 11 year old on vacation for a week or two IF she wanted to go. I wouldnt let them take a 5 yo for so long unless I was very sure the 5 yo would not be homesick. So I'd build up with regular sleepovers, weekends away etc to see how that went.

A good way for your brother to build a relationship with your children would be for him to visit a few times and get to know them.

Then, in time they may like to visit him.

They're not parcels to be delivered to him at his convenience.

Centre them and their best interests in this. Not his.

Then absolutely not. Not at any age if I’m perfectly honest. Not until he has made up a safe relationship with the kids. But still don’t understand how he doesn’t plan to have kids but wants your kids to stay over without you there.

I went as an unaccompanied minor all the time as a child from the age of 6/7 on long haul flights to see family.

I had a great time. I am now the only cousin who has a relationship with my foreign grandparents, I was very mature and well travelled for my age, and I was responsible.

I wanted to go and I wasn't scared. They treat you real special when you're a kid on a flight with no guardian.

To those saying the kids are too young...why? OP if you want to ask me about my experience to give you reassurance them DM me. It is really not a big deal.

It is also not a stranger to OP, it's OPs brother who she trusts. It doesn't matter if the kids don't know him that well. One trip and that will change. If the kid is happy going then why should they be deprived of that opportunity.

Especially if the opportunity is paid for by the uncle and the kids want to go.

@LetMeSpeak would you be saying this if the brother was a sister? He may have hit an age where he realizes he wants to be there for his niblings. He may now have the money/annual leave to be able to offer this opportunity. He may now feel the kids are old enough for the trip.

Also. OP hasn't stated about his character and whether the brother is good with kids and understands the reality of having kids for a couple of weeks. If there answer is yes to both of these then I think OP should let the kids go. At least the oldest two.

He may now feel the kids are old enough for the trip.

How on earth could he make this decision? He doesn't know them! Even if he did, it wouldn't be his decision to make!

They're people, not rag dolls. DB and DGP seem to be forgetting that.

It's possible to like children and to want to have a relationship with family members without actually wanting to have children yourself. In fact I imagine that this will become more and more common as more people decide not to have children because of global warming and all the other massive problems we have. If you like children (and many men do, not in a bad way) and you have none of your own, you are of course more likely to want to make an effort to spend time with your nephews and nieces. When my DCs were young I made a massive effort so that they could spend time with their uncles and aunts, who lived the other end of the country. Those relationships are important. As young adults they remain close to the uncle and aunt who used to have them for a week's holiday every year. They are not close at all to the aunt who didn't make an effort.

Yes, they're people. The OP has ignored the questions about whether she's discussed these offers with the children themselves, so I'm guessing she hasn't. Not even with the 11 year old.

Maybe your kids are shy because of your parenting op

You seem to shelter them a lot to be so funny about this, especially the grandparents

I wouldn't have a problem with my parents taking the kids on holidays. But no way in hell would I be putting them on a plane to Australia by themselves. It would be a family trip or not at all.

Just say No

How will he use it against you?

Anyone can be lovely. If he becomes manipulative when he doesn't get his own way then maybe he's not as kind as you say.

I don't know what your brother's need is to have your kids for a holiday.

I guess he's on his own (single?) so maybe he could 'use' your kids to make an entertaining holiday for himself.

Where he's in control. Then tries to get your parents to exert emotional pressure on you about it...

Problem is does he really know the day to day tedious issues of traveling with kids? The 'but that's not fair she gets chips and I have to have pasta', 'not another stupid museum I'm not going!'
The fact that he doesn't know your kids says s lot.