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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is why spaces should be kept single sex?

346 replies

Bluntfuckit · 25/09/2022 12:05

twitter.com/mummabeeblu/status/1573690566889570307

This poor girl.

I've got three DDs I can't imagine how I'd be if this had happened to one of them.

Primark staff were helpful but say it's happened previously.

No shit, predators are of course going to prey on easy access semi clothed women.

We need to rise and revolt.

OP posts:
HatThatWearsYou · 25/09/2022 19:06

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 18:59

No, at no point did I suggest anything like that. I made one suggestion and was immediately jumped on, because my solution didnt solve the camera issue.

I’m arguing for safer spaces for women. I disagree that that means ‘single sex is the only way to do that’.

You and the other one are very obvious in what you are doing.

Agree with the majority PPs here re: single sex space erosion and the using trans rights as a vehicle for all sorts.

Apart from that how exactly is anyone supposed to know who is "real" transwoman? You can't ask for a penis check at the door can you now? The only way for this to be less likely to happen in future is single sex spaces.

It's really really obvious, those who claim to not see it should get their pants on fire extinguished or shouldn't be allowed to make important decisions without supervision.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:11

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:06

I agree they should remain - I think single sex plus a neutral third space is the best option for everyone.

But I don’t agree that this a good justification for that argument.

So you agree they should remain, but you're prepared to argue until you're blue in the face that the most blindingly obvious reason for them to remain - that they provide significant protection for women - doesn't matter.

And you think the rest of us are having a pointless conversation?

You're clearly just trying to weaken the case for single sex spaces in general so you can argue to get rid of them, or erase women as a biological class, elsewhere. You've got the right to free speech and all that, but don't kid yourself that it's not as obvious as a boner in the ladies' room.

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:14

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:11

So you agree they should remain, but you're prepared to argue until you're blue in the face that the most blindingly obvious reason for them to remain - that they provide significant protection for women - doesn't matter.

And you think the rest of us are having a pointless conversation?

You're clearly just trying to weaken the case for single sex spaces in general so you can argue to get rid of them, or erase women as a biological class, elsewhere. You've got the right to free speech and all that, but don't kid yourself that it's not as obvious as a boner in the ladies' room.

I don’t agree that single sex spaces provide significant protection for women - how could they?

You’ve convinced yourself I’m a trans rights activist. I am not. I am as gender critical as they come.

Stopsnowing · 25/09/2022 19:15

Single sex spaces do not fully protect women but they allow boundaries to be marked out and respected by society and reduce harassment etc

BirdinaHedge · 25/09/2022 19:17

Young boys are more likely to be victims or pedophilia than young girls.

That's actually not true @LetMeSpeak and it's indicative of homophobia that you think it is the case. In the awful scandal of Catholic priests abusing children in Australia that started to come out in the 1990s, the focus was on the abuse of young boys. However, around 75% of the victims of sexual abuse by Catholic clergy were young girls.

The moral panic was about male abuse of males; homophobic & sexist panic. It's sooooooo much worse for boys & men to be sexually abused by men because it puts them in the demeaning position of being "like a girl."

Because girls are just female, and being abused is SNAFU.

Keyansier · 25/09/2022 19:18

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:14

I don’t agree that single sex spaces provide significant protection for women - how could they?

You’ve convinced yourself I’m a trans rights activist. I am not. I am as gender critical as they come.

"There were 134 reports of sexual assault in changing rooms over the two year period 2017 to 2018. Of these, 120 took place in gender-neutral changing rooms compared to just 14 in single-sex changing areas."

fairplayforwomen.com/unisex-changing-rooms-put-women-in-danger/

The statistics don't agree with you.

If you're arguing that more should be additionally done, I think people would understand where it is that you're coming from. Your posts haven't reflected that though, quite the opposite, in fact.

OMG12 · 25/09/2022 19:19

We need to start splitting things by “has penis” “doesn’t have penis”

lifeturnsonadime · 25/09/2022 19:23

OMG12 · 25/09/2022 19:19

We need to start splitting things by “has penis” “doesn’t have penis”

We used to have perfectly good words for that!

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:23

Keyansier · 25/09/2022 19:18

"There were 134 reports of sexual assault in changing rooms over the two year period 2017 to 2018. Of these, 120 took place in gender-neutral changing rooms compared to just 14 in single-sex changing areas."

fairplayforwomen.com/unisex-changing-rooms-put-women-in-danger/

The statistics don't agree with you.

If you're arguing that more should be additionally done, I think people would understand where it is that you're coming from. Your posts haven't reflected that though, quite the opposite, in fact.

Those statistics are based on swimming pools and leisure centres though, where arguably predatory men are more likely to be. I can’t read the article because it’s behind a paywall.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:29

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:14

I don’t agree that single sex spaces provide significant protection for women - how could they?

You’ve convinced yourself I’m a trans rights activist. I am not. I am as gender critical as they come.

The thread is full of people explaining to those to whom it is not blindingly obvious, why single sex spaces significantly protect women. Yes, we've addressed the "but they don't have an anti-man force field" stuff as well. You can sit there asking "how can they?" as if it hasn't been explained over and over, but I don't know who you think you're fooling.

If you agree that single sex spaces should remain and that this is "not the conversation to be had" about trans issues, there is literally no reason for you to be here. If that's not why you're here, your continuing disingenuousness makes far more sense.

HatThatWearsYou · 25/09/2022 19:29

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:23

Those statistics are based on swimming pools and leisure centres though, where arguably predatory men are more likely to be. I can’t read the article because it’s behind a paywall.

Give over, the link here you conveniently missed is that they are all involving changing rooms. It even helpfully says so in the title.

Thelnebriati · 25/09/2022 19:31

I can't tell if you are being contrarian just for the sake of it. Women are more likely to undress and shower in leisure centres and swimming pools, so they are the canary in the coal mine. Dismissing the report as giving skewed results is ridiculous.

And you can see the source article at archive dot ph/QwFXT

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:33

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:29

The thread is full of people explaining to those to whom it is not blindingly obvious, why single sex spaces significantly protect women. Yes, we've addressed the "but they don't have an anti-man force field" stuff as well. You can sit there asking "how can they?" as if it hasn't been explained over and over, but I don't know who you think you're fooling.

If you agree that single sex spaces should remain and that this is "not the conversation to be had" about trans issues, there is literally no reason for you to be here. If that's not why you're here, your continuing disingenuousness makes far more sense.

It isn’t though. Trans people have absolutely nothing to do with what happened to that woman.

Ramblingnamechanger · 25/09/2022 19:35

There is no reason for any male to be in a space meant for women. With or without penis, wearing or not wearing dress or wig, self identifying or with a GRC. The only reason to be there is to predate on women, to indulge a fetish, or to intimidate us. Go pee in the mens, you won’t be in danger there. I am really curious why women are so keen to enable these men, when THERE IS NO REASON TO.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:37

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:33

It isn’t though. Trans people have absolutely nothing to do with what happened to that woman.

Eroding the importance of female spaces has. I didn't mention trans people. Why are you bringing them up?

Bretonbear · 25/09/2022 19:38

If you have a penis you have no place in a changing room for those without. To me it's as simple as that.

HatThatWearsYou · 25/09/2022 19:40

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:37

Eroding the importance of female spaces has. I didn't mention trans people. Why are you bringing them up?

Transparent bigot fishing expedition *rolls eyes, problem is GC people aren't bigots, just pointing out that safeguarding for women and children is being thrown under the bus.

It's a lot easier to argue with bigots than people who just want women and children to be kept safe from predators.

LetMeSpeak · 25/09/2022 19:41

Bretonbear · 25/09/2022 19:38

If you have a penis you have no place in a changing room for those without. To me it's as simple as that.

I agree. But with the growing popularity of surgery it’s becoming harder and harder to tell .

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:41

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 25/09/2022 12:10

We need to vote with our feet and stop buying from shops endorsing this.

I’m all for inclusion and genuine trans people using the changing room they feel appropriate to them.

But random men roaming around a room where undressed women are only separated by a curtain is a disgrace.

The very first post on this thread talked about trans people.

Notlosinganyweight · 25/09/2022 19:44

SoupDragon · 25/09/2022 12:18

If they are going to insist on having unisex changing then the easy way to fix it is for solid changing room cubicles with lockable doors.

Obviously not cheap though.

Simple solution really in this sort of place. I got spied on/filmed once in a unisex changing room. Horrid experience, but I can't see why people miss the obvious here. I don't want culture wars or to exclude people, just a common sense solution. This is an easy way of dealing with the issue in these places.

Gets a bit more complicated when it comes to single sex areas in a hospital/prison though.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:45

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:41

The very first post on this thread talked about trans people.

Yeah, it was supportive of them. And I'm not that poster, so why were you bringing trans people up with me?

You really haven't thought this one through, have you?

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:46

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:45

Yeah, it was supportive of them. And I'm not that poster, so why were you bringing trans people up with me?

You really haven't thought this one through, have you?

I didn’t say you were. Are you denying that this thread has anything to do with trans people?

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:49

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:46

I didn’t say you were. Are you denying that this thread has anything to do with trans people?

All I've been talking about is the need for single sex spaces, which you claim to support. You're the one who brought up "trans issues", trans people and whether you're a TRA or gender critical. Don't ask me to justify what you're choosing to bring up.

OMG12 · 25/09/2022 19:50

lifeturnsonadime · 25/09/2022 19:23

We used to have perfectly good words for that!

Yep. But unfortunately they’ve been hijacked so we now have to spell it out, do you have cock? Right door , if you don’t have a cock left door.

Pumperthepumper · 25/09/2022 19:51

ReneBumsWombats · 25/09/2022 19:49

All I've been talking about is the need for single sex spaces, which you claim to support. You're the one who brought up "trans issues", trans people and whether you're a TRA or gender critical. Don't ask me to justify what you're choosing to bring up.

I’m not the one who brought up trans people, the very first poster on this thread did. Are you denying that this thread has anything to do with trans people? Or did you miss it when you were calling me a rape apologist?