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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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For wanting to do a Ouija board for a laugh?

558 replies

EbbyEbs · 24/09/2022 08:25

Next year DH and I are staying in a castle thought to be the most haunted in Britain. DH says he doesn’t believe in stuff like that, I’m on the fence really but more towards not believing. I think the most likely scenario if ghosts ARE real is that they’re historical residue and not intelligent entities. But even that is a stretch.

So, I’d like to do a ouija board when we’re there for a laugh. The castle is in the middle of nowhere so there isn’t much else to do on an evening other than drink (which I don’t do) and watch Netflix!

DH is point blank refusing saying he isn’t messing about with stuff like that. But he’s a non believer??! So what’s the harm?

If he doesn’t believe in it, am I being unreasonable to ask him to do it?

OP posts:
MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 09:08

@ReneBumsWombats
A curious mind is a wonderful thing that will enjoy reading all the scientific links that were posted earlier.

And a rational mind will know that to test a scientific hypothesis a controlled experiment is required, where an independent variable (the cause) is systematically manipulated and the dependent variable (the effect) is measured and any extraneous variables are controlled.

to believe that evil spirits can come through a piece of cardboard and harm you.

I don't think anyone actually said that.

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 09:11

MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 09:08

@ReneBumsWombats
A curious mind is a wonderful thing that will enjoy reading all the scientific links that were posted earlier.

And a rational mind will know that to test a scientific hypothesis a controlled experiment is required, where an independent variable (the cause) is systematically manipulated and the dependent variable (the effect) is measured and any extraneous variables are controlled.

to believe that evil spirits can come through a piece of cardboard and harm you.

I don't think anyone actually said that.

And a rational mind will know that to test a scientific hypothesis a controlled experiment is required, where an independent variable (the cause) is systematically manipulated and the dependent variable (the effect) is measured and any extraneous variables are controlled.

Quite. And as no woo has ever been proven under such conditions, why do you think a feeling of personal threat is the key reason why so many people on here do not wish to encourage it? What's the basis for that hypothesis?

I don't think anyone actually said that.

Then you should read the thread

MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 09:18

@ReneBumsWombats

Then you should read the thread

I have read the thread and nowhere does anyone say that "spirits can come through a piece of cardboard and harm you."

The board is irrelevant. It's the intention of the users that can cause problems.

Do I take it that you don't believe "spirits" exist?

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Itsseweasy · 28/09/2022 09:37

To the sceptics, I highly recommend that you watch this paranormal investigation on YouTube:

I’m the first person to say most of these kinds of videos are rubbish, but these guys (the Fourman Brothers) apparently experienced a haunting when they were young kids, and now as adults they help people who are experiencing similar issues.

The video above is particularly relevant as it features 2 young roommates who are experiencing paranormal activity after a ouji board session - see what you think after watching it!

CapMarvel · 28/09/2022 09:40

crispsandnuts · 28/09/2022 06:45

Ebbyebs, keep us updated, definitely keep an eye on the chessboard. The far bedroom at bottom of corridor was the one that had an awful feeling. We went over 10 years ago so it might have changed, keep us updated, id love to go back

So a room in a 13th century building had a "chilled" feeling.

Hold the phones!

Miffee · 28/09/2022 09:41

Itsseweasy · 28/09/2022 09:37

To the sceptics, I highly recommend that you watch this paranormal investigation on YouTube:

I’m the first person to say most of these kinds of videos are rubbish, but these guys (the Fourman Brothers) apparently experienced a haunting when they were young kids, and now as adults they help people who are experiencing similar issues.

The video above is particularly relevant as it features 2 young roommates who are experiencing paranormal activity after a ouji board session - see what you think after watching it!

You can't be serious? You want people to watch a 45 minute long episode of an entertainment show? You may as well ask me to watch Blair Witch.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 28/09/2022 09:53

I might watch that video later if I have time. It looks entertaining. But really @Itsseweasy do you think anything that’s part of a series called “Paranormal Nightmares” is going to be either objective or non-sensationalist?

I do suggest that the sceptics read the comments though; you won’t know whether to laugh or despair!

MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 10:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 10:34

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I did not claim to know what you think. I referred to what many people on the thread have declared that they think.

IncompleteSenten · 28/09/2022 10:41

🤣 threatened.

Do people feel threatened by those who claim the earth is flat?
Do people feel threatened by those who claim aliens built the pyramids?

No. Of course not.

It is just frustrating when people peddle absolute bollocks and expect others to agree that impossible things are possible based on completely unsubstantiated claims.

When you know with 100% certainty that you are right, other people's claims don't threaten you. Because the laughable is not threatening.

IncompleteSenten · 28/09/2022 10:43

A YouTube video as proof.

Oh god. I don't know whether to laugh or cry

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 10:46

I'm starting to think a Ouija board would provide more intelligent, honest and pertinent discourse than some people on here.

MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 10:51

@ReneBumsWombats I did not claim to know what you think

Yes you did right here

Another wilfully obtuse poster (or perhaps not another one) who thinks that....

I never said any of those ideas that you allude to. I said that the board itself was irrelevant, it was the intention of the players that could cause problems.

Please RTFT

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 10:56

CapMarvel · 28/09/2022 09:40

So a room in a 13th century building had a "chilled" feeling.

Hold the phones!

Why do you feel the need to be so argumentative? Let people enjoy things for Christ’s sake

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted as it quotes a withdrawn post.

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:04

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 10:56

Why do you feel the need to be so argumentative? Let people enjoy things for Christ’s sake

I'm sorry, OP, but you can't control where a thread goes and how people choose to respond.

Furthermore, it's obvious from the thread that many people, including your husband, don't find this enjoyable. I think you also got a few people's backs up when you asked if it would be OK to try to push your husband to do it when it scares him, or he just plain doesn't want to. Once you get into that kind of thing, you have to expect people to robustly explain why there's nothing to be scared of, because the trauma can be real even though the board and the haunted cupboard etc aren't.

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:08

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:04

I'm sorry, OP, but you can't control where a thread goes and how people choose to respond.

Furthermore, it's obvious from the thread that many people, including your husband, don't find this enjoyable. I think you also got a few people's backs up when you asked if it would be OK to try to push your husband to do it when it scares him, or he just plain doesn't want to. Once you get into that kind of thing, you have to expect people to robustly explain why there's nothing to be scared of, because the trauma can be real even though the board and the haunted cupboard etc aren't.

I’m not bothered about the replies to me, I asked for that. What bothers me is the sniping and arguing how between everyone else that has happened as a result! I won’t be doing a ouija board with DH as obviously I’m being unreasonable. I don’t particularly believe in ghosts anyway as I said but I do enjoy partaking in the whole thing. I’d love it to be real but I struggle to believe it can be … but that doesn’t mean I and others can’t enjoy it anyway.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:17

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:08

I’m not bothered about the replies to me, I asked for that. What bothers me is the sniping and arguing how between everyone else that has happened as a result! I won’t be doing a ouija board with DH as obviously I’m being unreasonable. I don’t particularly believe in ghosts anyway as I said but I do enjoy partaking in the whole thing. I’d love it to be real but I struggle to believe it can be … but that doesn’t mean I and others can’t enjoy it anyway.

You're a grown up and you can do what you like. And you probably do have a point in that I've been giving clearly worthless non-arguments more attention than they deserve. It's just irritating when people think intellectual dishonesty, deflection and outright lies are somehow an intelligent and worthwhile contribution, whatever the subject matter. It goes against any sense of intellectual integrity. Though I suppose it's no bad thing for people to see how certain viewpoints must be reduced to it. Threatened by belief in woo boards, ffs.

But the fact remains that some people really are scared of this stuff and I do think it's irresponsible to encourage that because, as we've ascertained, the fear is what causes the danger. There are no spirits coming through the board but if someone is suggestible and ready to believe it, they're likely to push it so that it gives them exactly what they're expecting. And that, as we have seen, can cause harm.

If you're going to have a discussion about the board then you have to expect people to want to counter it, especially since we know how this one works. You have the right to do it, of course, but it's a public discussion and others have the right to respond.

cigiwi · 28/09/2022 11:21

MrsHarrisgoestoTimbuctoo · 28/09/2022 08:44

@IncompleteSenten
It is so hard to not get frustrated when you simply cannot get it through to someone that the earth is round(ish), Elvis is dead, lizards don't rule the world, there's no global reset being planned, bill gates isn't microchipping us, the dead don't yeet shit across a room and nor are they trying to talk to you through a stupid board.

I am curious as to why some people fell the need to ry so hard to convert others to their way of thinking?
Do they feel threatened by their viewpoints?

I think that's a really good question. Why do we try to convert others to our way of thinking?

Maybe some people are threatened by other viewpoints, indeed. But that's probably not the main reason. (Anyway, mostly people whose way of thinking threatens others - terrorists, say, or Vladimir Putin - will likely be immune to converting arguments. Sadly.)

So why, then? Well, for millennia, people have found it useful to argue the toss about important matters as a way of coming to see the truth.

... Suppose I think so-and-so, whereas you think such-and-such. I might be wrong. So, to check it out, I argue with you (I argue with myself too, in a way, but that seems to be less fruitful): "Here's why so-and-so", I say; "Ah, but have you considered such-and-such", you reply; "Hmm, interesting," I go, "But, then, if such-and-such, doesn't it follow that this-and-that"; ... and so on and so on, hopefully not ad infinitum.

Perhaps one of us might be convinced. Perhaps not. But the very process of arguing like this - trying to convert another person, while listening and responding to their attempts to convert you, is likely to expose flaws, logical and otherwise, in the disputants' thoughts, and so to conduce, in the end, to knowledge of what is actually the case.

This process was named 'dialectic' by the old Greek philosopher Plato. The term has had a long and distinguished career since then, being used in different contexts and with different connotations. However, I can report, it works! Given a certain amount of good will and respect on all sides, attempted conversion does often help us to see the truth - or, perhaps less ambitiously, at least to unmask falsehood.

Try it!

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:34

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:17

You're a grown up and you can do what you like. And you probably do have a point in that I've been giving clearly worthless non-arguments more attention than they deserve. It's just irritating when people think intellectual dishonesty, deflection and outright lies are somehow an intelligent and worthwhile contribution, whatever the subject matter. It goes against any sense of intellectual integrity. Though I suppose it's no bad thing for people to see how certain viewpoints must be reduced to it. Threatened by belief in woo boards, ffs.

But the fact remains that some people really are scared of this stuff and I do think it's irresponsible to encourage that because, as we've ascertained, the fear is what causes the danger. There are no spirits coming through the board but if someone is suggestible and ready to believe it, they're likely to push it so that it gives them exactly what they're expecting. And that, as we have seen, can cause harm.

If you're going to have a discussion about the board then you have to expect people to want to counter it, especially since we know how this one works. You have the right to do it, of course, but it's a public discussion and others have the right to respond.

What outright lies? You can’t say someone is 100% lying unless you were there at the time (admittedly I’ve not read all the replies as the arguing got a bit much so if I’ve missed the likes of “I was impregnated by a poltergeist and gave birth to a goat” type posts I can see your point).

For example - I have said that whilst at Chillingham and ornament on the windowsill turned around by itself whilst we watched. Are you saying I’m 100% lying about this? I’m not saying it was a ghost - but it did happen.

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:44

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:34

What outright lies? You can’t say someone is 100% lying unless you were there at the time (admittedly I’ve not read all the replies as the arguing got a bit much so if I’ve missed the likes of “I was impregnated by a poltergeist and gave birth to a goat” type posts I can see your point).

For example - I have said that whilst at Chillingham and ornament on the windowsill turned around by itself whilst we watched. Are you saying I’m 100% lying about this? I’m not saying it was a ghost - but it did happen.

I was talking about lies relating to claims about what I and other people have said, although I am pretty sure at least some anecdotes on here are porkies rather than sincere delusion.

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:54

ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:44

I was talking about lies relating to claims about what I and other people have said, although I am pretty sure at least some anecdotes on here are porkies rather than sincere delusion.

Ah ok, I see what you mean now

OP posts:
ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 11:56

EbbyEbs · 28/09/2022 11:54

Ah ok, I see what you mean now

Sorry if I wasn't clear.

BucketofTeaMassiveCake · 28/09/2022 11:59

Is this real? Never mess with the spirits OP. You could unleash all sorts of nonsense (in your own mind?) and then regret it. Ouija boards are ridiculous and only fools use them.

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