To refuse to get rid of the dog.

[Alfredo674]

My DH wants to get rid of our dog. At this stage I don't think he cares if she is rehomed, goes to a shelter or is put down.

She is a 13 year old terrier cross and up until a few months ago she was having a lot of issues with diarrhoea and causing a lot of mess in the house. We have very young DC and I put measures in place to try and sort her tummy problems (consulted a vet, changed her food, she now sleeps in a crate overnight so she is contained) and for the past few months her stomach has been better although she vomits intermittently.

This morning she had pooed in the crate but it had spilled out on to the floor, so whilst he sorted the DC for nursery I had to clean up this huge mess whilst I should have been expressing milk before my newborn twins woke up.

He says the dog has to go, so as not to drip feed we had another elderly dog previously that I refused to get put down despite massive incontinence issues and dementia, when he finally went it was such a relief. DH says he won't go through it again. In fairness he is the one who walks her although we are struggling to get her walked everyday at the moment.

Despite all of this I'm still very much of the opinion that a dog is a life long commitment. AIBU?

I've been reading all replies but in the middle of the night time routine and breastfeeding so hard to reply.

100% agree about the dangers of dog poo. A family friend contracted a bad bacterial infection years ago as a child when he picked up dog poo and very sadly was left intellectually disabled.

Im struggling at the moment, DH and I are very sleep deprived but managing to keep all the plates spinning despite the chaos.

Im going to look into a dog walker and I'll speak to the vet again tomorrow regarding the tummy issues. I completely accept that something has to change.

Good luck at the vets. Hope you get some sleep in between cuddling your twins tonight too.

I wouldn't re-home the dog either. Could she wear dog nappies to help with the mess issue? I'd definitely look at getting her checked out by the vet again though because it mustn't be very nice for her being poorly so frequently.

You should try probiotics also. There are antibiotics for dogs to settle a stomach and repopulate the gut. Idk what they’re called.

Have you even read the thread

What makes it a struggle to fit it in, OP?

Saving caring responsibilities, walking your dog is a priority.

What are you doing to help the situation, OP?

Sorry , but it sounds like the dog is nearing the end of its life and you're struggling to cope. I'd seriously consider pts.

Oh this is so sad, a dog is a life long commitment and your dog has led a wonderful life I’m sure, however it becomes cruel to keep a dog going when it’s quality of life is no longer what it used to be. Unless there’s another under lying issue,, incontinence issues is part of their old age and at times there way of telling you it’s time. Heartbreaking I know.

There are worse things for an animal than to have a peaceful death and be free from further distress. At 13 it’s not old for a terrier, but it’s not young. If she’s Incontinent and pooing in her crate this will be causing her distress. It sounds like you either have to embrace what it is to have a sick dog or let her go. You’d be doing her a kindness if the alternative is being shut in a crate with her own poo. I say this as someone who crates their dogs at night, but I would never do that if they were incontinent.

Its so hard, I feel for you but you have to put her comfort before your own. I don’t mean to be callous but this situation is no good for your husband, your children and mor importantly your lovely dog.

With newborn twins you aren’t going to be able to care for this dog and you really shouldn’t rehome , it wouldn’t be fair to her. Everyone has to die aand a good death , cutting out suffering is not bad.

l wish you lots of love whatever you decide to do.

Dogs won't naturally soil their own space so it must be so distressing for the poor dog to be kept confined like that in it's own mess. Absolutely awful. I would have another trip to the vets and if they feel nothing can be done then have it pts.

@Alfredo674 I'm really sorry to read what you went through with your old dog. That must have been very hard.
Is your DH worried the same is happening with current dog? Worried that the DC might crawl through the dog feces as they were able to with the urine? I understand you're doing your best to contain it but it may still be a worry he has. You really need to speak with him about his reasons and try and come to a compromise. As long as dog still has a decent quality of life, is safe and kids are safe.
Really feel for you both and I hope the vets have some solutions to help ❤

Once they start defecating where they sleep, you know its nearly time. I think you ought to think about her quality of life.

It’s so hard to decide when the time is right but it sounds like now is the time.
It creeps up on you, I know, I’ve gone too long with some of my dogs and it’s the wrong thing to do . Sending you strength to do the right thing.
x

@Alfredo674 just want to clarify when I say the same happening, I mean going down the same road with incontinence, confusion etc.

This morning she had pooed in the crate but it had spilled out on to the floor, so whilst he sorted the DC for nursery I had to clean up this huge mess whilst I should have been expressing milk before my newborn twins woke up.

Doesn’t sound like you are coping.
You have a dog with health problems which you say is not getting walked properly and is crated and left in it’s own s**t at night.
You have DC and newborn twins to deal with and your DH is right, the dog should be given another home.
Your dog sounds like it needs full time care which you are not in a position to give.

It’s unlikely anyone else is going to want a 13 Yr old dog with an unresolved poo and vomit issue isn’t it.

I agree dog needs to be seen by another vet, saying a dog is prone to tummy issues is one thing, but new tummy issues with regular poo and vomit is not normal. Ooh I’ll take the breed of dog that shits itself intermittently, said no one ever. Could be old age or something else, get a proper diagnosis.

When you love a pet it becomes part of your family, it’s not easy to let go. Is it too soon, too late, people worry and a great many of us probably leave it a little late.

Good luck OP, hope ddog will be ok a few more years.

Poor dog doesn't have a choice though if in a crate does it ? It's not like it's choosing to defecate there !

Im struggling at the moment, DH and I are very sleep deprived but managing to keep all the plates spinning despite the chaos.

It must be incredibly difficult. Particularly if you and DH aren't on the same page. Perhaps it would help if you have a plan of action. That way your DH can see you're taking his concerns seriously, but you also know you're trying everything you can.

I'd say you should:

• go back to the vet and ask them outright if they know what is causing the problem and if it is curable. That way you know where you stand.
• if they fob you off eg by saying the breed is prone to tummy upsets when you've had him 13 years and this particular dog isn't, then try a different vet
• if two vets confirm that the vomiting and diarrhoea cannot be stopped then you will pts. As others have said it's no life for the dog to be crated with his own mess every night. And you know it is too risky for your children to live with.

I know it's easier said than done, but please take care of yourself too! You'll be no good to your DH, children or dog if you keel over from exhaustion. Hopefully the dog walker will ease some pressure too.

How far away is the dog sleeping from you?

When ours had a bad stomach in the night & either needed the toilet or to be sick they were able to let us know in time to let them into the garden.

Crating the dog so that it might be sleeping in its own shit though is bloody cruel imo.

Crating the dog so that it might be sleeping in its own shit though is bloody cruel imo.

I agree, it’s horrible. I’d take her back to the vet and ask “What would you do if she was your dog?”. We did exactly that with our cat, the vet just asked if we’d like one last night with her.

A dog is for life. Your DH is a heartless human being.

I'm sure you know "A dog is for life" OP.

I'm not sure if your DH is talking about rehoming or euthanasia.

You'll be hard pushed to get any rescue organisation to take on an elderly dog with or without medical problems.

If you're talking about euthanasia then that is a decision you'll have to make after advice from your vet. If she can still go for a walk, enjoys her food and is taking an interest in what's going on then I don't think you have got to that stage yet.

I agree with DH. I cant stand lousy owners who refuse to PTS pets at the end of their lives when they develop serious issues simply because they want to delay their own sadness for as long as possible.

The dog is now incontinent and shitting in its crate where it sleeps. This isnt a one off incident. Thats no way for an elderly dog to live and you have history of not putting an elderly sick dog down. I completely see why DH doesn't want to deal with that with small babies in the house as well.

Do you understand what that phrase even means?

It means a dog is for life, aka the dogs life not the owners life. This dog is coming to the end of its life. As an owner its ops responsibility to ensure the dog isnt suffering which it sounds like it is.

I understand your DHs frustration. If I were in his situation I'd be saying the dog has to go too. Put the poor bugger down before it gets worse. A dog has no concept of death. He'll go to sleep and just not wake up.