Would you prioritise your grandchild's birthday?

[BrocoliTrees]

Would you choose going to a friend's wedding (not close friends) over your grandchild's 6th birthday party? Even if the wedding invite came first, knowing the date of your grandchild's birthday, would you check to see what would be happening for their birthday? Being a Saturday too.

Bit more context... what if you would also be moving to another part of the country from said grandchild the following week.

Interested to know opinions.

wedding

Absolutely the wedding!

Who invited first but tbh a wedding over a birthday that's not special number eg 50 anyday

Wedding

Wedding

I wouldn't even prioritise my own child's birthday over a wedding invite!

The child's birthday can easily be celebrated another day.

I've missed a few of one grandaughter's birthdays because of the clash with an event we liked to attend in the US, it's fine, leave a card and present, they're what matter!

None of us got married on anyone else’s birthday or kids birthdays, we wouldn’t have considered it, there’s plenty of other days.

This is almost as insane as OP.
With an average sized wedding there really aren’t ‘plenty of days’ left once you rule out a guests birthday, guest’s kids birthday, grandkid birthdays etc etc
I’ve genuinely never heard anyone who thinks it’s unreasonable to get married on the day of a guest’s grandchild’s birthday!

I'd go to the wedding & see grandchild another day - but then I'll be on holiday for DGS's first birthday (his own fault as he came early).

I'd move if it was the right thing for me & my household to do. My dad & stepmum moved 500 miles away a week after DD2 was born because DF got a new job, they have a much better relationship with my DC than with my brothers DC & he moved with them so distance doesn't make or break a relationship with grandparents.

Grandchild trumps wedding. Depends on what the child wants, though.

I haven’t got any DC yet so many do not understand the whole them needing to be there on birthday things (finally pregnant again after miscarriage) but my DH’s parents moved hours away to the countryside and of course we worried they’d miss out on some time with the GC or wasn’t there to help out but the truth is they’ve done their bit with their own children and deserve the relaxation time after retirement! It isn’t their job to be on call for me and DH and prioritise their life around our future DC

They have been invited to and accepted a wedding invite before you made plans for DC’s birthday. I wouldn’t expect them to cancel wedding for the at home birthday. Also every birthday is special, of course it is but it would be different IMO if it was your DC’s first birthday they were missing. I’d understand you being upset about that

I would accept a wedding invite despite it being my parents, siblings, DH’s families birthdays if I’m being honest. I do not think it is realistic to spend every birthday with family members and again I know it’s different as I’m in mid 20’s now but my parents have been away over my birthday, so has my grandparents and I’ve had concerts / plans over their birthdays too. None of us has ever minded

I’d say YABU but your feelings are valid and I know you’d like them there and feel like them moving away is them moving away from their little grandkids but I think you have to see the bigger picture here and be happy for them as they’ve done their part xx

We invited 150 people to our wedding.

If we had to pick a date for our wedding that suited us AND didn't fall on the birthdays of

• any of the guests themselves
• any of their children
• any of their GRANDchildren....

Statistically that would probably rule out every single day of the year!!

Especially given that most people want to get married on a Saturday, which is by far the best day if you actually want most of your guests to be able to come and properly enjoy themselves, you're down to approximately 52 potential dates you can choose from. I'm sorry, but I find it very difficult to believe that anyone is factoring in guests' grandchildren's birthdays.

I’ve genuinely never heard anyone who thinks it’s unreasonable to get married on the day of a guest’s grandchild’s birthday!

Yup. It's right up there with the craziest things I've ever seen posted on this often crazy forum.

@BigYellowElephant

how old are your kids?

you may feel differently after years of child rearing when they’re all grown up

@RainbowTash

says who

grandchild will have loads of birthdays, not a big deal if their grandparents miss one to
go to a WEDDING

Wedding is a way deal then a sixth bday party

I don’t believe this happens tbh

@LuckySantangelo35 they are 1, 4 and 14. Maybe I will, but my mum certainly doesn't and we're very alike.

But wouldn't you, as a presumably sane and loving child, then say to YOUR parents that of course they should attend the wedding? I don't understand the attitude here at all, I would want my parents to be able to attend both events and would just do another birthday celebration. Why do they have to miss out on one when you could say it's fine, of course it is, kids love multiple birthday celebrations. The more cake the better in my house.

@BigYellowElephant

this

@BigYellowElephant what would happen if you have to move for work or in the future your children move away?

Wedding most definitely, birthdays come every year regardless of how close or far away you live.

It's my husbands grandsons 1st Birthday next year and we have booked to go away on the same day 🤷‍♀️

They can't. It is like Eastenders, you can only get a job a street away from your parents house. And if you move to another borough you don't see each other for another ten years.

@puttingontheritz I would say that it's entirely their choice and offer the chance of a day out or tea party as an alternative but unless it was someone very very close then they just wouldn't consider it. Certainly not in the OP situation

@toomuchlaundry if my kids moved away I would fully support them but be privately very sad about it. I've got 3 daughters and they're being brought up bilingual so chances are they will all travel and possibly live abroad. I want them to have every opportunity. But I would never ever move away from them and certainly not for something as inconsequential as a job

When we were getting married, we checked the date we were thinking of with close family and friends that we really wanted there before officially booking it. There was only about 12 people that really mattered to us being there, if others had to decline it would have been a shame but we wouldn’t have been overly bothered. My sister and friends did the same, I didn’t think it was unusual.