@NCforthis864, the OP having 3 children by him is a major factor but doesn’t necessarily have to be the only factor as to why she should be protected financially.
By virtue of having a uterus weighed down by carrying, and nurturing 3 children within it, having to waddle around for 9 months, feeling nauseous, sometimes incontinent, with the potential for stretched orifices that will never be the same again, prolapses later in life. Then there’s the breastfeeding every few hours, lost sleep, years of care for those children, stretchmarks.
Pregnancy represents a vast sacrifice of one’s body. It will never be the same again. The first partner/father of the first children, gets the best of the woman’s body.
A man doesn’t experience that body shock. They can have further children into old age but for a woman that gift to a partner has been sacrificed, it is precious because it has an expiry date. That is why a woman must chose extremely wisely.
You can’t really reverse the situation for the male gender for this reason.
There’s a cost to pregnancy and childcare in terms of sheer emotional investment: most mothers can never properly lose themselves in what they are doing when they are away from their baby; genetics have designed us mostly to bond and yearn when away from our babies to the point of aching, to produce breast milk at the sound of our baby’s cry.
There is the lost time of playing and teaching, being vigilant to our children’s needs.
OP will have sacrificed, money that could have otherwise have been earned and the invigoration of career advancement, to enable her partner to advance. And she will have lost the reassurance of her own pension for self esteem and independence.
Try employing a house keeper, cook, cleaner, launderer, gardener, interior designer, baby sitter/childcare, travel agent, event manager, book keeper/accountant, errand runner, party host to children and adults, nutritionist, personal food and clothes shopper/stylist, counsellor, fitness coach, escort, car valet, chauffeur, confidante, and more.
Think of how much this would cost per hour! Fact is women do the bulk of this with or without children.
And then there are bedroom activities.
Sure, one should only do what is enjoyable but let’s face it, certain acts require stamina and repetition, they take more vigour, than they do for the receiver should he do the same! ‘wear and tear’ on the joints, so to speak is a cost.
And finally, what about the ethics of a relationship, the value of compassion?
Would you want your most loved and cherished soulmate to suffer financially if you died?
It speaks volumes if a partner won’t consider this.
OP has earned every penny in what she has contributed to her partner’s career and life.