Thank you very much for returning, Unicornetto.
It will be difficult to keep emotions tempered when much is at stake, perhaps view him as a species under consideration!!
Beware of the following argument which goes something like “Oh, I see, it’s this again, is it, all you care about is how much you can get from me/this house, bleeding me dry, don’t worry when I’m dead and worked to an early gr.ave you’ll be ok, mate, etc, etc”
Don’t be swayed by him making you feel like you’re some sort of gold digger for asking for him to care about what life would be like without sufficient finances. I don’t know if the above is the case with your partner but ignore it, it’s just a ruse to make you feel guilty.
Think of how it must feel like to be him with a lovely fat pension, all your support, a wife to listen and practise what he will say to colleagues, a sounding board, and his name on the deeds. He knows he is holding all the cards. He is literally playing you. Even if denies it, he will know he’s in a good position at your expense.
And in this position he can afford to be dismissive, possibly verbally abusive during disagreements because he is in the stronger position.
And I bet he enjoys showcasing his lovely wife and children at work events too.
You are his best “asset”, don’t forget it. For a man to have a lovely, intelligent wife in public on his arm is beyond price. He gains status from that!
You have sacrificed your best fertile years and eggs, which have an expiry date (unlike his sperm), a better career, a pension and all the benefits of independence of a well respected job to give him a great life.
You have sacrificed your working life to give him a better quality one.
Perhaps ask if he will now support you to study in peace to compensate for that time lost so you can rebuild a career?
If you can talk about seeing an IFA and/or solicitor for life planning he may see how it looks unfair others can see it is too.
Careful, make sure you call and pay that IFA /solicitor.