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AIBU?

Extremely worried- received a really weird message

165 replies

weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 17:28

So basically, I received a harmless message on WhatsApp from a stranger and replied, it was typical chat at the start (sorry you’ve got the wrong number, oops I’m so sorry hope I haven’t disturbed you etc etc, no worries it’s easily done. That sort of thing) after those messages it got freaky. I don’t really know how to explain it because the messages werent threatening or anything but it’s definitely made me feel so uneasy and worried about it. I’ve stopped replying and I’m about to block the number (on WhatsApp and on my phone itself), but I’ve just got myself a bit freaked out (probably about nothing, but I’m the kind of person that worries easily!)

if this is a virus/scammer/bot- can they do anything about the fact ive replied to their messages? Can they hack me or my network or get access to anything purely from WhatsApp replies alone? Obviously I know not to press any links or download anything but wasn’t sure if me replying to the messages was dangerous in anyway.

thanks x

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Am I being unreasonable?

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You are being unreasonable
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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:03

Whatthechicken · 20/09/2022 20:55

Don’t be apologetic and don’t say it’s making you feel uneasy, be clear and concise over what is going to happen next if it continues. Take control.

Yeah that’s definitely something I need to work on because I’m bad for being all apologetic and panicked when I’m worried! I can’t say to my family about it because I don’t want to worry them every single time I get a contact that could be him and I don’t want to worry or upset them when chances are it’s 99% not him, but then I end up with it all stuck inside and it’s such a horrible feeling! I’m so pissed off that this is the person I am because of him but I really hope one day I can properly move on and forget it all and relax a bit more x

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Whatthechicken · 20/09/2022 21:11

weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:03

Yeah that’s definitely something I need to work on because I’m bad for being all apologetic and panicked when I’m worried! I can’t say to my family about it because I don’t want to worry them every single time I get a contact that could be him and I don’t want to worry or upset them when chances are it’s 99% not him, but then I end up with it all stuck inside and it’s such a horrible feeling! I’m so pissed off that this is the person I am because of him but I really hope one day I can properly move on and forget it all and relax a bit more x

No, you’re not bad at it. It’s female socialisation. We don’t like to cause a fuss, we don’t like to cause friction or create conflict…it’s fucking centuries old…it’s not you! We are socialised to be people pleasers. Join a local feminist group…the scales will fall from your eyes and you’ll realise how you can set boundaries and even say no! I’m 43, and still learning, but it really is empowering. Pop over to the feminist boards.

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Fraaahnces · 20/09/2022 21:12

Sounds like a sex worker drumming up new clientele

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Eddieisadick · 20/09/2022 21:16

You sound a bit odd for keeping replying. It’s obviously one of those fake love scammers or a nutcase. Why would you respond beyond the original messages. Honestly it’s a genuine question?

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chimpandzee · 20/09/2022 21:16

I've been getting these in WhatsApp recently OP - it shows up as a business number - I googled and the country code is often Indonesia. Usually a generic picture of man or woman sitting at a desk, with a message that just says "Hi" or "How are you"?. I ignore and block. As others have said, it's a scam, they will reel you in before starting to ask for money but if all you've done is answer messages you're fine. Classic catfishing scam like the ones where they eventually start to form an intense online relationship and then start asking for cash for the plane ticket to come and visit. Probably quicker and more efficient for the scammer than trawling internet dating sites they just keep going til someone bites. Hope you can just block and move on.

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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:21

@Tsort I think you're being deliberately obtuse. It's blindingly obvious that the reason OP is not just blocking the messages immediately is because she's probing a bit further to reassure herself that her dad isn't back on the scene. Yes, blocking would solve the message issue, but it wouldn't exactly help if her dad was stalking her from round the corner would it now?
She's hoping to reassure herself that the message is just a scammer or a bot so she can stop worrying that her dad is back on the scene.

OP, it does just sound like a scam, I'm sure you're fine Flowers

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:22

Eddieisadick · 20/09/2022 21:16

You sound a bit odd for keeping replying. It’s obviously one of those fake love scammers or a nutcase. Why would you respond beyond the original messages. Honestly it’s a genuine question?

I appreciate its a genuine question and you don’t mean any harm but for christ sake I’ve explained it so many times on this thread already! It’s also pretty hurtful and unnecessary to be called odd especially given the circumstances I’ve already explained.

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:24

Whatthechicken · 20/09/2022 21:11

No, you’re not bad at it. It’s female socialisation. We don’t like to cause a fuss, we don’t like to cause friction or create conflict…it’s fucking centuries old…it’s not you! We are socialised to be people pleasers. Join a local feminist group…the scales will fall from your eyes and you’ll realise how you can set boundaries and even say no! I’m 43, and still learning, but it really is empowering. Pop over to the feminist boards.

seriously thank you so much for being so helpful☺️ (and everyone else who’s helped me)

yeah you’re right about woman being people pleasers, it’s like we’re conditioned into it to stop making a fuss! Even with things like going to the doctors and asking for help! It’s really sad actually x

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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:24

Eddieisadick · 20/09/2022 21:16

You sound a bit odd for keeping replying. It’s obviously one of those fake love scammers or a nutcase. Why would you respond beyond the original messages. Honestly it’s a genuine question?

She explained at great length why she replied a few times- to try to find out if it really was a scam or in fact a real stalker!!!

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purplerain31 · 20/09/2022 21:25

Tsort · 20/09/2022 20:47

Multiple people have said what I’ve said. Including the commenter immediately after me. You’re not being ‘interrogated’. You asked for opinions and you’re getting them.

I’m not ‘proud’ of my tone. I’m comfortable with it. You, on the other hand, posted a garbled OP, had to be asked multiple times (note, by others, not me - more ‘interrogation’?) what the messages actually said - as we were somehow supposed to give opinions without said info - and are now in a strop because I’m not patting you on the head and going ‘there there’. That’s not exactly something to proud of. So, perhaps do some self reflection.

Ffs have a day off 🙃

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:28

Fraaahnces · 20/09/2022 21:12

Sounds like a sex worker drumming up new clientele

gosh that’s so scary! Some people are so awful

(And also slightly funny they’ve messaged me, someone who’s never had sex before and honestly wouldn’t have a clue what to do😂)

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:29

chimpandzee · 20/09/2022 21:16

I've been getting these in WhatsApp recently OP - it shows up as a business number - I googled and the country code is often Indonesia. Usually a generic picture of man or woman sitting at a desk, with a message that just says "Hi" or "How are you"?. I ignore and block. As others have said, it's a scam, they will reel you in before starting to ask for money but if all you've done is answer messages you're fine. Classic catfishing scam like the ones where they eventually start to form an intense online relationship and then start asking for cash for the plane ticket to come and visit. Probably quicker and more efficient for the scammer than trawling internet dating sites they just keep going til someone bites. Hope you can just block and move on.

Thank you so much it’s a relief that other people have had it as well and it’s just an annoying scam rather than something dangerous, I’ve blocked them as well thankfully x

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Tsort · 20/09/2022 21:30

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:21

@Tsort I think you're being deliberately obtuse. It's blindingly obvious that the reason OP is not just blocking the messages immediately is because she's probing a bit further to reassure herself that her dad isn't back on the scene. Yes, blocking would solve the message issue, but it wouldn't exactly help if her dad was stalking her from round the corner would it now?
She's hoping to reassure herself that the message is just a scammer or a bot so she can stop worrying that her dad is back on the scene.

OP, it does just sound like a scam, I'm sure you're fine Flowers

She’s engaging with every scammer because her father, who she hasn’t heard from in a decade, might be ‘stalking her from around the corner’ and I’m being ‘deliberately obtuse’ by pointing out that this is illogical behaviour? Sure.

OP needs to realise this is unhealthy behaviour and address it. As she doesn’t want to hear that, I’m leaving her be. She can engage with scammers to her heart’s content.

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TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 20/09/2022 21:30

ladydimitrescu · 20/09/2022 18:32

Copy and paste the messages? Or just type what they say? We can't tell you if it's odd or not without detail

She's NOT asking ufvghe messages are weird, she's ASKING if she can be scammed in any way!!

@weirdwhatsapp

it doesn't sound like you've given them a way to scam you. Just be very careful with any new messages with links or saying they have a parcel you just need to pay x & rearrange delivery etc.

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:30

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:21

@Tsort I think you're being deliberately obtuse. It's blindingly obvious that the reason OP is not just blocking the messages immediately is because she's probing a bit further to reassure herself that her dad isn't back on the scene. Yes, blocking would solve the message issue, but it wouldn't exactly help if her dad was stalking her from round the corner would it now?
She's hoping to reassure herself that the message is just a scammer or a bot so she can stop worrying that her dad is back on the scene.

OP, it does just sound like a scam, I'm sure you're fine Flowers

Thank you so much (and to everyone else who stuck up for me!) I’m so glad some people actually understand! I honestly didn’t think it was that confusing but apparently some people can’t get their heads around it (lucky them not to have to!)

thanks again x

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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Usecoooomonsnse · 20/09/2022 21:33

@weirdwhatsapp

“no I haven’t sold anything recently but my profile picture on WhatsApp clearly shows that I’m female, relatively youngish (under 25) so I guess that could make it a target for scammers!”

please change your WhatsApp privacy setting so your profile is only visible to Your contacts not everyone

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SummerWhisper · 20/09/2022 21:33

I hope it is just a stupid scam and I hope you settle back to your better place. I have no advice. I just wanted to say that you deserve to be happy and to feel safe. X

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EntertainingandFactual · 20/09/2022 21:35

I had one of these OP!
Started off as a seemingly ‘innocent’ wrong number - I didn’t reply to the 1st message so they sent another saying they had realised their mistake, apologised profusely and asked me questions about myself.

weird

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Tsort · 20/09/2022 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

  1. Yes, I have.
  2. I had left the thread. You keep tagging me.
  3. I’m now going to ignore you.
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InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2022 21:38

@Tsort sorry, I know you've left the thread and are ignoring me, but are you seriously telling me that you HAVE been stalked in the past and STILL don't understand the level of anxiety that's driving the OP's behaviour? Righto

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Whatthechicken · 20/09/2022 21:39

weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:24

seriously thank you so much for being so helpful☺️ (and everyone else who’s helped me)

yeah you’re right about woman being people pleasers, it’s like we’re conditioned into it to stop making a fuss! Even with things like going to the doctors and asking for help! It’s really sad actually x

We are definitely conditioned into it, because it suits our society. I don’t want to make this a thread about women’s rights - but I think it helps to understand where we have come from and our expectations - and also about what men actually think of us. I’m my opinion, it’s getting worse for women right now. I’m naturally a people pleaser, I will do anything for people to approve of me - but why? I will be polite, I will be kind, I will be accommodating - there is no way my husband would be all those things If it doesn’t suit him (my husband is lovely btw). We have been brought up to be all these ‘wonderful’ feminine things. Well fuck that quite frankly, men have been dining out on our female socialisation for too long. No, no and no! If you feel uncomfortable say no and then escalate - time we put these chancers back in their box.

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sjxoxo · 20/09/2022 21:43

I think you’ll be fine. No one is going to scam you with a few WhatsApp replies. Don’t click any links and don’t give out any personal info that’s all x

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:43

Tsort · 20/09/2022 21:30

She’s engaging with every scammer because her father, who she hasn’t heard from in a decade, might be ‘stalking her from around the corner’ and I’m being ‘deliberately obtuse’ by pointing out that this is illogical behaviour? Sure.

OP needs to realise this is unhealthy behaviour and address it. As she doesn’t want to hear that, I’m leaving her be. She can engage with scammers to her heart’s content.

Honestly after all I’ve posted and explained, you seriously can’t see why I reply to see if it’s him or not?

genuinely, what am I supposed to do? Everytime I get a scam/wrong number, just go to the police and say it might be him? I’d get told to stop pestering them for going if I did that every time. Sit and worry in case it’s him? And prepare myself to be attacked, threatened, harassed, stalked again? I’d never be able to relax and have a life if I had to do that every time I received a wrong number or scam

also, it’s nothing to do with your advice, if you told me politely or respectfully that it wasn’t the best idea to reply (as other people have done) then I would have listened to you, but no, you called me all over the place and were completely nasty.

and funnily enough, I didn’t even ask about any of this. I asked about being hacked over messages.

Anywayyyy im not wasting my time arguing with someone who’s probably old enough to be my mom, I’ve got better things to do :)

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weirdwhatsapp · 20/09/2022 21:44

SummerWhisper · 20/09/2022 21:33

I hope it is just a stupid scam and I hope you settle back to your better place. I have no advice. I just wanted to say that you deserve to be happy and to feel safe. X

Thank you so much that’s really kind of you x

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