"Men are only as faithful as their options"

[Grandeur]

Adam Levine has recently cheated on his Victoria's Secret model wife, Behati Prinsloo with a 23-year-old woman. I think this shows that it doesn't matter how beautiful, slim or sexy you are, some men really are only as faithful as their options.

I know people say "there has to be something wrong in the relationship to cause infidelity," but I know so many women who have been utterly devoted to their partners and still got cheated on.

My partner is a reasonably attractive man and earns a large salary, the older I get the more concerned I become about being 'swapped' for a younger woman, because he would definitely have the option.

Obviously not all men would do this, but how can you be sure your partner wont? Some of the men who cheated on my friends were loyal, faithful, family-oriented men for over a decade, up until they got bored, of course.

Is this something we just have to accept? That it doesn't matter how devoted and attentive you are to your partner, if the options are available to him, he will seek out other/younger women regardless?

Blow jobs on tap. Many men desire sex more than anything else in the world. It can trump looks, brains, humour, money…nothing will come close to someone enthusiastically and frequently sucking on a cock like it’s a Knobbly Bobbly in a heat wave.

Is this something we just have to accept? That it doesn't matter how devoted and attentive you are to your partner, if the options are available to him, he will seek out other/younger women regardless?

No. That’s just this century’s excuse for mens infidelity. In the 12th and 13th centuries, the European aristocracy viewed extramarital affairs as the highest form of romance, untainted by the gritty realities of daily life. And as late as the 18th century, the French philosopher Montesquieu wrote that any man who was in love with his wife was probably too dull to be loved by another woman. Globally, until two centuries ago, monogamy was the exception- most people were in polygamous relationships. It’s an excuse as old as time…that men “need” to sow their wild oats while women are mens property and must dedicate and devote themselves to one man.

We don’t have to accept it, and we shouldn’t.

@ShandaLear "nothing will come close to someone enthusiastically and frequently sucking on a cock like it’s a Knobbly Bobbly in a heat wave."

😂😂😂

And for every 'bad' woman I'd say there was more than likely a man instigating, flattering and pursuing her. Not that that excuses women who have affairs, but if men didn't instigate them I believe there would be far fewer.
Take Average Alan. Really, how likely is it that he's going to be singled out and pursued by a woman wanting an affair? If it ends up 'just happening' it's a safe bet the guys put some work in.
Meanwhile, Average Anna is more likely to fancy herself in love with her 'friend' from work who supports her, makes her laugh and feel attractive than deliberately decide she wants some extra sex with a random from the office.

It's not guaranteed but women tend to have affairs with men they find a lot more arousing than their husbands. That's not necessarily the case with men but sex for the sake of sex.

I doubt it very much. I think women have affairs with men who give them something they feel their husband doesn't. Far more likely to be attention than sex.

I don’t know population wise, but I know with my DH he has been told he has a “sexy accent” and he’s had female work colleagues blatantly offer sex to him when they got drunk at work Christmas parties and such. He’s been disgusted by it tbh when they know he’s happily married and I have a very sharp pair of gardening shears.

Men are perceived as better looking when the older

Clearly written by someone who hasn't had the misfortune to check out any dating apps recently!

Do you think? I honestly have no idea either way as I've never put myself in or been in that situation. I just assumed that average Alan just got on well with Anna at work and they hit it off. But it's quite possible I'm totally naive and Alan has been turning up the charm to 110%

Are women really that suggestive? Doesn't seem right but you know women better than I.

Then he's one of three things:
Outrageously gorgeous and no Average Alan.
In a position to help their careers and comes across as the type who would do so for sex.
A bit of an odd 'un and they're teasing him.

Completely agree OP. Men are wicked. I find being more wickeder than them does the trick. I will never fully trust a man the majority are not biologically made to be in long term monogamous relationships. I am no starting to hope my husband starts to become less attractive AB’s realise he simply won’t be able to do better than me. But knowing how men are I doubt it would even matter

Yes, it can happen like that of course.
But you know the other side to this, you're a nice man. Yet how many times have you been actively pursued by female work colleagues wanting an affair?
I'm a woman, attractive enough but certainly not irresistible, yet countless times I've realised that the friendly guy at work is actually a bit too friendly, starts with the flattery, the innuendo.
I'm generalising as we all do, but from my experience men are more typically the instigators. As they are in most sexual interactions.

Most men have to initiate or instigate or they'd never get anywhere with women, that's why there's so many incels because men have to pursue. The men at the top women will pursue.

Obviously men who are already married should not be pursuing other women but often in offices the married man is seen as safe and that's where the friendship starts. Or for some women he's seen as a challenge.

Men are so rarely pursued that they don't know how to handle it when they are and perhaps fall into a trap easily. It's water off a ducks back to women to have some random come on to her because she's so used to it.

Women have less opportunities to cheat?? Really???

I read opportunities as 'means' rather than offers. Less likely to be in jobs with travel, less time out of the house and away from the children. More answerable to children if not partner for their whereabouts. Less likely to go out and about alone.

None of the above

• Average looking 50 something, full head of hair but a bit of a bhudda belly
• The colleague in question was his boss, so not sure how he could have helped her career….
• He’s not odd, he’s actually well liked and respected.

What? Less time working doesn’t equate to being housebound. SAHMs imho have the most opportunity to have an affair. The children are in school from 9-3 Monday - Friday. My mum made good use of this free time as one of her (many) lovers was the village vicar!

Would he be ok with his partner(s) adopting that attitude too, I wonder?

Obvs women are throwing themselves at me constantly....not.

SAHMs have the most time to have an affair but I'd have thought less opportunity to meet an affair partner. The limited pool of men they would have an opportunity to get 'close' to would be further reduced by the man needing to be available in school hours.
In real life the gardners and plumbers of this world typically go about their jobs unimpeded by the advances of middle class housewives. And even if we suspend our disbelief and imagine ourselves living in an erotic novellette theirafternoon encounters with hot tradesman wouldn't really constitute an affair.

I find that it's mostly typical "hot" young women who get cheated on mostly, constantly heartbroken from men, and that tied in to what someone said about them being with men who value them for their looks.

The women I know who are not typically "hot" and just average don't seem to get cheated on and have long stable relationships. Just an observation from the people I know.

Egotistical over confident good looking men have so many options and mix that with testosterone..

It’s not the quantity of men you come into contact with, it’s the quality of men. More men doesn’t really result in more chance of an affair.

Of course it does. You have far more chance of meeting a man if you spend 5 days a week on trains, in offices, in city centres, go to after work drinks, conferences and other events than you will sitting at home hoping the new curate will be easy on the eye.

Please. Commuters barely glance at each other. And a conference one night stand isn’t an affair either. My point is that SAHMs aren’t “sitting at home” all day whilst the children are in school. There is at least an equal chance of meeting a man and striking up an affair if you’re going about your business in a local area every day as there is going into the same office every day. For going to after works drinks, the equivalent for SAHMs is getting a cup of coffee after the gym/pool or after the baby/toddler play group/library story time. 1/3rd of stay at home parents are men. Many more have flexible work schedules and so have a morning or afternoon at the gym/pool. So this idea that all the men are chained to a desk from 9-5 Monday-Friday is outdated.

I've actually been watching a little romance blossoming on my train as it happens. And I got asked for a drink by a guy at the station last Friday.
As for the rest if it, if you're telling me that the SAHPs of babies and toddlers are exchanging lustful glances in the library then meeting after baby swim class, leaving their small children...somewhere...? and jumping into bed together before the school run, I'll have to bow to your greater knowledge.