"Men are only as faithful as their options"

[Grandeur]

Adam Levine has recently cheated on his Victoria's Secret model wife, Behati Prinsloo with a 23-year-old woman. I think this shows that it doesn't matter how beautiful, slim or sexy you are, some men really are only as faithful as their options.

I know people say "there has to be something wrong in the relationship to cause infidelity," but I know so many women who have been utterly devoted to their partners and still got cheated on.

My partner is a reasonably attractive man and earns a large salary, the older I get the more concerned I become about being 'swapped' for a younger woman, because he would definitely have the option.

Obviously not all men would do this, but how can you be sure your partner wont? Some of the men who cheated on my friends were loyal, faithful, family-oriented men for over a decade, up until they got bored, of course.

Is this something we just have to accept? That it doesn't matter how devoted and attentive you are to your partner, if the options are available to him, he will seek out other/younger women regardless?

@Fatballs
"It doesn’t need to be “High” Anglican. Common or garden Anglican churches run marriage preparation courses too.
I know because I attended one."

Thanks for that info.
I stand corrected.

This made me so sad to read this. Obviously I can’t see you but don’t you think in our society men are allowed to get old but women are demonised for it? That a man with grey hair and a few wrinkles is a Silver fox but a woman is expected to do everything she can to look younger ? TV and media are a lot to blame as there are hardly any older female newsreaders or presenters and if they are about they look very young for their age or have had work done. Obviously everyone says Helen Mirren when you mention the lack of older women in film etc but she’s an exception and someone that looks younger and obviously works very hard to “keep” her figure. I try to look my best, I’m in my 50s but we shouldn’t have to try to look ten years younger to be valued. Men do not have the same pressures put on them regarding ageing. Your husband is not just with you for how you look he loves you as a person.

😂😂😂 brilliant ! however they don’t always turn up and let you see they are a cunt ! It would make life a lot easier if they did

A lot of 'OW' are married or in serious relationships themselves, and therefore cheating on their own partner.

There's not a large bank of single women out there who are happy to be 'OW' for older married men. It's different for 'famous men, of course, especially those deemed 'hot', but your average Alan isn't going to have his pick of single ladies.

Most women can get sex any time anywhere. Either on a dating app or just walking into a bar. Most men have to put a lot of work in to 'get sex' with a woman they aren't in a relationship with.

Thus it's an unusual occurrence for most men when a situation invites itself when they haven't had to put the effort in.

I think it's about respect. It appears that men who date and marry models don't oftentimes respect them, for whatever reason. They always seem to be obsessed with models, marry models, and cheat with models.

I know one thing about my husband. His values are family. He cares about his reputation with his wider family and his children. And if he were to try to "swap" me his reputation and the respect from our wider family and children would be horribly compromised, same for myself.

Therefore, he has very little incentive to do such a thing. His life would hardly be better given his values are around family and reputation.

For this reason I don't worry about him cheating, and even if he did the support network I would have would be so immense I know I would be okay.

@macthekwife "I think it's about respect. It appears that men who date and marry models don't oftentimes respect them, for whatever reason. They always seem to be obsessed with models, marry models, and cheat with models."

This is an interesting point.

Could it be that some men have watched porn where beautiful women are disrespected and abused (and appear to like it) so regard women as two dimensional and disposable ?

I think it's up to us women to raise our sons to respect women, although with all the outside influences on them, that can be difficult.

Could it be that some men have watched porn where beautiful women are disrespected and abused (and appear to like it) so regard women as two dimensional and disposable ?

They don’t need porn for that.
Porn shows us exactly how men feel aboit women.
Men have always dehumanized women, that’s why cheating is easy for them - they don’t see women as someting meaningfull.

The a priori/posteriori discussion between @Pinktoothbrushesarefab and @AllAloneInThisHouse aside, they are probably part of the subculture of men who believe women to be intrinsically intellectually and ethically inferior and they take, use, and abuse the ones who in their eyes put themselves on show, literally flaunting their bodies down a runway, for them, to then go and woo to keep as a wife for breeding, around ten years their junior, if being conservative.

Or frigid.

Is anyone truly frigid?

Same as women then OP.

I saw one on a male dominated forum fefer to his partner as "the female thingy" recently.

I agree, women think men think about them in the sane way as the reverse; but in many cases, it's not true- they barely see women as people, they see them as fulfilling function s and roles, they see them as relatively interchangeable and disposable.

I think there was a study that reported that a large percentage of men couldn't say what (or who) their wife's job title, real hair colour, or closes friend was.

Well, to be fair - Adam Levine is an absolute and total douchebag. Complete twat.
Always was.
The term douchebag could have been solely designed for him and it should have a photofit of his face along with the definition in dictionaries.

His wife comes across as funny, personable, bubbly, nice and she seems devoted to her children and him.
To be honest - she could have done better. I don't know what she saw in him.
She's pregnant at the moment with their third child and what is she supposed to do now.
I think she should divorce him but I wouldn't be surprised if she stays. Her kids are so, so young and that might be the decider.

I would never have trusted him. He was cheated before and more than once.
I'm always highly suspicious of these grandiose declarations of - "my wife is so fuckin' awesome!!!!!" by these d-bag men.
Those fuckers are always the ones who are cheating left, right and centre.
He has to have been shagging that Sumner Stohr one. No way was that just an emotional affair. And I'll be amazed if she's the only one he's shagged.
He is indeed a wanker.

Then there's the typical "the wife".

The "the" reveals the objectification and "person who fulfills a role attitude.

Women on average aren't as sex oriented as men.

And are more risk averse than men.

I agree, women think men think about them in the sane way as the reverse; but in many cases, it's not true- they barely see women as people, they see them as fulfilling function s and roles, they see them as relatively interchangeable and disposable

I should add, in my experience, they also see them (and talk about them) as a collection of body parts and a hair colour.

Women don't value sex because it's so easily attainable.

They do value good sex though which is less easily attainable and that's where affairs come in.

This is also why I have a theory (that seems correct) that beautiful women are cheated on more than average/not attractive women. Beautiful women by default attract men who value women for looks.

I also think a lot of men are intimidated by beautiful women; therefore the cocky, narc, sociopathic, high risk taking men approach and get involved with them; and then treat them according to their narc, sociopathic, arrogant characters.

Yes, but they also literally have less of their brain devoted to sex and sexual pursuit.

And affairs are no guarantee of good sex. Nothingnis, other than wading through multiple partners til you find one who's objectively good and a good match for you.

If true, that just makes women as bad.

TBH I've no idea and do appreciate that some men lie. Therefore not all women are complicit. But in general, for every bad man, there's a woman.

Men are just hornier than women. Mumsnet posters have problems accepting there are any differences between the sexes beyond the physical that aren’t social conditioning. Which is silly - hormones dominate your mood and desires. Just look at the menopause threads.

To be honest - she could have done better. I don't know what she saw in him.

He's young, rich, famous and good looking.

She clearly ignored his red flag past as many people do.

She's set, if she divorces, to get a very nice settlement and child support ..... There is no shortage of beautiful models. So I'm not sure how she could have done better other than his character/integrity; which she herself apparently dismissed as of low importance or deluded herself about.

While there are exceptions and ranges, I agree that there are brain and hormone differences that make most men more sexually oriented and often sexually predatory.

And yes, that's sacrilege to say on here for whatever reasons... Maybe it's being seen as an excuse for them cheating. It isn't an excuse at all to me, but it is relevant to the discussion.

*He's young, rich, famous and good looking.

Oh and he's a singer/performer; which many women go ape shit for.