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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find some language offensive about the funeral?

319 replies

Mushroo · 18/09/2022 23:50

Out at the pub tonight and talk turns to the queens funeral.

Im not an ardent royalist or anything but I will be watching as a historical event and in recognition of the queens service.

My friend is very left wing and said ‘I won’t be watching, fuck that,, fuck the monarchy, I won’t be watching to save the electric’. (This is someone who does not have to count the pennies).

AIBU to say this was a bit offensive, and a simple ‘I won’t be watching, it’s not for me’ would have been fine and respectful to people who do want to watch,

It almost seems as though being offensive is ‘cool’.

OP posts:
NoMoneyHun · 19/09/2022 00:13

The royal family is basically what all tories aspire to be.

As a family I do feel for them, its not nice to lose a loved one. Grief is a terrible thing, Prince or pauper.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 19/09/2022 00:13

Gilead · 19/09/2022 00:11

I rather think the expenditure is a tad tone deaf given the forthcoming utilities crisis.

Absolutely. They should have put her on a national express back down to London then straight to cremations direct! No one would have cared or minded, she wasn’t important or significant at all.

Eddieisadick · 19/09/2022 00:14

@PaddleBoardingMomma sorry but it’ll be number 1 by Xmas

NinHuguenAndTheHuguenNotes · 19/09/2022 00:15

I don’t like this new song from the Sex Pistols.

🤣🤣🤣

StoneofDestiny · 19/09/2022 00:16

Oddly, I’m yet to hear those from the other side shout down obscenities at those who are choosing not to do any of the above. “You won’t be watching?! You’re a sheep! You’re a hysterical republican” nope.. can’t say I’ve heard anything of the sort. All the vitriol and judgement is coming predominately (bordering entirely) from one side

😂😂So you've not seen the news where anti monarchists have been arrested for just speaking out or holding up blank signs…or even #not my king signs. Haven't seen any pro monarchists arrested yet.

Bouledeneige · 19/09/2022 00:17

I wouldn't be offended by that. I don't know anyone personally who's upset. It is an end of an era but all the fuss is quite over the top and has dragged on forever. I shall be going out with DD for the day to the sea.

(And I've met her and a lot of the family and got an honour...)

StoneofDestiny · 19/09/2022 00:19

Just look at the thousands of people who have queued to pay their respects

Will that include the ones who are currently trying to sell on eBay the armbands they were given when they joined the queue to see the coffin? (Now banned by eBay)

PaddleBoardingMomma · 19/09/2022 00:20

StoneofDestiny · 19/09/2022 00:16

Oddly, I’m yet to hear those from the other side shout down obscenities at those who are choosing not to do any of the above. “You won’t be watching?! You’re a sheep! You’re a hysterical republican” nope.. can’t say I’ve heard anything of the sort. All the vitriol and judgement is coming predominately (bordering entirely) from one side

😂😂So you've not seen the news where anti monarchists have been arrested for just speaking out or holding up blank signs…or even #not my king signs. Haven't seen any pro monarchists arrested yet.

But… you’ve just proven my point? It was the “anti” folk shouting obscenities, trying to protest, throwing themselves at the coffin, generally being disrespectful and making scenes. Maybe that’s why they’ve been arrested?

Funny how these supposed hardened republicans are only coming out the woodwork now. Why choose the period of mourning to be so disrespectful? I’m sure if they were half decent they’d at least wait and organise proper protests. What did they think would happen holding up shitty signs to a man who’s mourning the loss of his mother?

SunscreenCentral · 19/09/2022 00:21

I honestly don't know how you've all tolerated this as long as you have.

QueenOfHiraeth · 19/09/2022 00:21

It almost seems as though being offensive is ‘cool’.
It's the usual immature bollocks from those trying to be cool.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 19/09/2022 00:22

Bouledeneige · 19/09/2022 00:17

I wouldn't be offended by that. I don't know anyone personally who's upset. It is an end of an era but all the fuss is quite over the top and has dragged on forever. I shall be going out with DD for the day to the sea.

(And I've met her and a lot of the family and got an honour...)

You received an honour from her directly, we’re happy to accept it and tell us here about it, but wouldn’t mind someone saying fuck the monarchy and you’re actively going out of your way to avoid the funeral? Weird flex but ok.

Marvellousmadness · 19/09/2022 00:25

Offensive? No
Rude? Yes

worriedatthistime · 19/09/2022 00:25

People can't just say that nowadays they have to express their views on others
Yes a simple no im not watching its not for me is ample, especially when your with people who will be
But its very much a cancel culture , you see it on here all the time, people saying I can't be friends with someone who doesn't believe in all the things i do
They can't embrace different opinions

Singleandproud · 19/09/2022 00:26

I would have felt offended too.
Along with her 70 year service. I think alot of people's grief from losing grandparents during covid that they couldnt go to the funeral is being projected on to the Queen as a representative of that generation.

I've teared up several times over the last 10 days. Today I was set off by the very elderly man on his mobility scooter and two canes he stood up with great difficulty for his final goodbye, I recognised him as he often camps out for other royal events. The women who came with her daughter as she lost her mum during covid and used to watch royal events with her as I do with my mum and my mum did with hers before she died. The many military people with their medals and berets giving a last salute having taken their oath to her.

Carreterra · 19/09/2022 00:35

@Mushroo
It seems on trend to use the language your friend used. do you remember the Graham Norton episode not so long ago where Helen Mirren and Benedict Cumberbatch were both guests, and these two and at least one other guest seemed to be trying to outdo each other by dropping f -bombs throughout the show. It sounded immature as well as offensive, surprised there were no complaints.

apintortwo · 19/09/2022 00:37

YANBU OP

apintortwo · 19/09/2022 00:40

@Singleandproud

Yes, I know what you mean. It's all indeed very moving

ilovesooty · 19/09/2022 00:51

PaddleBoardingMomma · 19/09/2022 00:05

All I know for sure is that the Queens passing has really brought out the worst in some people.

I have heard relentlessly that anyone who’s upset, anyone who attended the vigil, anyone who will be watching the funeral, is a monarchist-loving half wit of lower social class.

Oddly, I’m yet to hear those from the other side shout down obscenities at those who are choosing not to do any of the above. “You won’t be watching?! You’re a sheep! You’re a hysterical republican” nope.. can’t say I’ve heard anything of the sort. All the vitriol and judgement is coming predominately (bordering entirely) from one side…

I think that's a really one sided view. I've read and heard intolerant vitriol from both sides and I imagine most people's opinions and feelings lie somewhere in the middle.

NinHuguenAndTheHuguenNotes · 19/09/2022 01:01

I honestly don't think that describing the queen as 'like a wee innocent grandma', as one poster did, is particularly respectful either. She was a very sharp and canny woman (albeit a grandmother too). I am definitely not a monarchist, but I recognise that she did her job well and probably helped to make the UK look a bit less shit. But I never cease to be amazed at what offends some people. The OP, as far as I know, did not have a personal relationship with the queen. So why be offended about someone else's lack of feelings about her?

montysma1 · 19/09/2022 01:01

asblindasabat · 18/09/2022 23:54

You’re not alone OP. I was just talking to DH earlier about how disgusting some people’s remarks are.

she was an elderly woman who gave 70 years of her life to us. I admired her and my heart breaks that she is gone. I can’t even believe it when I think about it.

People should keep their hatred thoughts to themselves

She didnt give 70 years of her life to me. She had literally no effect on my life.

emmetgirl · 19/09/2022 02:48

Get over it. Nobody ever died from feeling offended.

Nat6999 · 19/09/2022 03:02

StoneofDesting same here, the 6 billion could be spent on better things & then when you think that we will be expected to pay out again next year for a coronation, it is disgusting.

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/09/2022 03:43

QueenOfHiraeth · 19/09/2022 00:21

It almost seems as though being offensive is ‘cool’.
It's the usual immature bollocks from those trying to be cool.

^^I think this is pretty much the case too.

Many of the people who are anti-monarchy don't actually know exactly what the monarch does, what their responsibilities actually are or even how the Queen spent her time. Lots of the views I've heard arguing against the monarchy aren't based on knowledge, but just repeating things they've heard which typically aren't even true.

I have no objection at all to someone being fiercely anti-monarchy, providing they've done their research and aren't just regurgitating things they've heard elsewhere.

Most haven't, so it's just an internal eye-roll from me, while they make their cool, fuck the monarchy views loudly known.

But aside from all of that, I can't think of many other cases where someone would say they're sad about someone dying and a friend would essentially say "I'm not sad, fuck them". It's a weird way to act, and a shitty thing to say.

I completely understand that many don't care, and might even be happy the Queen has died. Perfectly entitled to that view. But proclaiming that view to someone who's feeling even a little bit sad about the Queen's death is pretty horrible. Surely it's possible just to dial that down a bit at this point?

I'm not offended at all. But I do think it's pretty rude.

giveovernate · 19/09/2022 03:46

asblindasabat · 18/09/2022 23:54

You’re not alone OP. I was just talking to DH earlier about how disgusting some people’s remarks are.

she was an elderly woman who gave 70 years of her life to us. I admired her and my heart breaks that she is gone. I can’t even believe it when I think about it.

People should keep their hatred thoughts to themselves

I'm sorry but your heart breaking is ridiculous! We've had DHs Bruce on Facebook saying she's heart broken, how w can you be heartbroken over a 96 year old passing.

It makes a mockery of real heart break like losing a child.

This sort of hysteria is ridiculous.

onlythreenow · 19/09/2022 03:51

It just shows their lack of intellect to be honest, unable to construct a coherent argument.

I agree with that, and also with the OP when she says some people seem to think being offensive is 'cool'. It's not 'cool', and those people are showing their lack of intellect. I don't even live in the UK, but have far more respect for the royal family than for most of these 'cool' idiots.