Asked to pay half towards a takeaway in friends home.

[avamiah]

I visited my friends home recently with my 12 year old and she has 3 kids herself and lives in a very nice large home( just for information).I took some gifts for them then early evening she said there was a great Chinese nearby and should we order a takeaway?
Great idea I ordered a few dishes for me and my daughter and she ordered 5 dishes for her and her 3 children.
She then said that’s £92 and just give her £45 .
I was speechless as we were guests in her home and she invited us for dinner and I was scrambling through my purse as I had my cards on me and only just had enough cash to give her.

I would never do that to a guest in my home and I felt really uncomfortable afterwards.

Just wondered what you think as it’s been bugging me.
Thanks

Of course you pay for the food you ordered....did it come to £45. I wouldn't pay half if not. You can't expect your friend to pay for your food

I am just reading back over all of the posts and I came upon this from @marblemad ??

What is a eight ?

Yes if I agreed to order takeaway I would expect to pay unless the person said very obviously “my treat“ or something similar. Yes even when I had taken gifts.
If the numbers eating were wildly unequal I would expect to pay a proportion which reflected that and if I felt sufficiently strongly I’d politely insist- “I’ve lost track of whose had what so I am happy to have a quick look at the bill and work it out for us both, or I’d estimate our share was X.”
If I was short of money I wouldn’t agree to the takeaway at all, I’d make my excuses and leave, or stay and say I’d eaten already.

Shes a right greedy fucker. You should have paid for your bit at the most.

Your friend is a terrible host and I don't get why so many people are going on and on about what is clearly just a spelling mistake.

You invite people over, you feed them. So it should have been her treat. If you invite them around specifically for a takeaway, you don't use them to subsidise your family. In that situation, cost should have been split by number of people.

I don't blame you for not saying anything though... you'd just had a nice evening and you were put on the spot.

Has anyone let in to OP that it’s an orchid 🥹

Drugs?

@Skodacool
I’m the OP and if you want to make fun of my spelling then at least READ ALL THE POSTS.
So FUCK OFF

Friend has 3 kids, op have 1, how is okay to split th bill 50:50?

That is a weird thing to say?
Why would @marblemad say that?

If you find that you can’t say “I’ll just pay for mine and by the way you still owe me a tenner from the rickshaw” then I’d avoid this person completely. She’s a CF.

If i invited someone around mine for dinner I would pay for the takeout in the same way I would have paid for the ingredients if I had cooked.

@RainingRubies you wouldn't get worked up over 10 quid? Really can you be my 'friend'. I'm currently short on 10 quid each week and I was hoping you'd lend me some. Obviously I'm joking but 10 quid is a lot of money in this day and age. It could cover my heating for a few days or my food. I would get worked up over a fiver at the moment!

Yes your stating the obvious but you are completely right.
I knew she owed me £10 from the Rickshaw but i conveniently forgot that but mentioned it on here when it was to my advantage.

No wonder she is ordering £92 Chinese takeaways .

Is this a repeat? It sounds very familiar to a post that was up in the summer.

Absolutely.
For example,
Hi @Rinatinabina why don’t you pop around to mine next weekend and I’ll cook dinner, it will be great to catch up.

Unfortunately there are many takeaway CFs out there!

If I invite someone to my house and then suggest we get a takeaway then I'm going to pay for it. You don't split the bill with guests as the host has all the options available to them (takeaway, cook at home), the guest doesn't.

Certainly don't make them pay more than they would if they ordered alone, that is being a CF of the highest order.

@avamiah reading all your posts and knowing the full story...Your friend was quite cheeky and rude. Are you going to tell her or not bother going to hers next time? I hope your ask her how your present were because they weren't cheap.

It's extremely bad manners to invite guests to your house and ask them to pay for food regardless of it being cooked at home or from a takeaway or restaurant. If she had said pop over to my house and we'll share a takeaway or something that would be different. However this wasn't the case and she did say she'd make dinner. Really rude especially since you're daughter was there too.

I know a friend who did something similar. Took a colleague to a restaurant and said I'll pay order what you want. Colleague decided to get what she wanted (more than one dish), expensive drinks etc. Friend thought she was taking the piss. When the bill came she said to the waiter is it okay if we pay separate? Colleague was gobsmacked. Friend said do you want dessert? Colleague said ermm no I've just paid ££! for my dinner.
Do you think your friend may have thought ohh she's ordering a few dishes let me ask her to pay half? I think it works both ways. If she thought ohh she's ordering quite a bit might ask her to pay half. But still rude as you obviously ordered less and have one child as opposed to her 3... she should have paid more.

I think if you had put in your op that you were invited to dinner the voting would be different. If I had invited someone to dinner and then choose to get takeaway I would be paying.

"I was invited for dinner as in she was cooking it and she ordered for herself and her 3 children and she asked me what we wanted so I ordered a few dishes."

Very strange. She said "come for dinner, I'm cooking" - this means you bring wine and a small gift, and they purchase ingredients and cook.

But you arrived, handed over orchid and wine, and she says "ha ha, got you there, I haven't cooked at all". Then, crucially, did she say "let's order out and split the bill"... or, "sorry but we'll have to order out together - I know a great Chinese if that suits".

I would have been quite surprised and a bit miffed, so YANBU

Ah OP, you sound like such a nice friend.
Just wanted to say that.

Also, we once got an entire Billy bookcase on the underground (fully built). And an old Dyson hoover. 🤣 so I see no issues with an orchid and bottle of fizz! (Very empty stations & train, thankfully)

NO
But feel free to check and Double check
And REPORT this thread if you think it’s Fake .

I am the OP and I am happy for you to report my thread if you have any Concerns.

If you were invited specifically for dinner then I think your friend should have paid. However, I would still have been prepared to pay my share. Not half.

However, if I was invited to hang out and maybe have some dinner while there then I'd be expecting to pay my share.

She invited you for dinner so she got a takeaway and charged you half?! Wow! That's not right!!! Think I would have worked out how much ours cost, and only given that amount. I'd explain that paying half isn't right, because she had food for 4 people, whereas I had food for 2. I bet your bill was more like £20-25. I wouldn't go round for dinner again!