How to ask to only pay for what we have ordered on a meal out?

[wonderingwanderer2]

I’m due to go for a meal out with 3 old colleagues next week and, due to a couple of unexpected expenses this month, money is tight. I could afford a main and a drink but I’m worried that the others might also order starters/alcohol/numerous drinks and then just split the bill between 4 at the end, which I probably wouldn’t be able to afford. How can I ask politely that we only pay for ourselves separately?

Take cash, then when you choose your own food and drink, work out the cost and when the bill comes just say " Here's my share plus tip " and put the cash on the table.

You don't ask, you tell.
Put the cash on the table to pay for what you've had and that's it.
A friend of mine once tried splitting the bill when she'd ordered a bottle of red, which I didn't touch as I can't stand the stuff, plus a dessert, which I also didn't have.
She wasn't impressed when I just put the cash down for what I'd had, rather than subsidising hers.
Not my problem.

It's always fasctinating seeing things from the CF POV.

If you are that strapped for cash that you can't pay for all that you order without expecting other people to fund your choices, just don't go!

Exactly. I've never come across this angst or drama, as everyone just pays for themselves. It's the default situation nowadays anyway in most restaurants where I live as they expect you to order from an app at the table (a leftover from covid dining days).