Tired of being scared of men

[NotLactoseFree]

I'm not really being unreasonable, I know. But it's so frustrating.

From our local shopping centre, to return to the car park there is a pedestrian crossing that runs over the vehicular entrance to the car park. Lots of signs reminding cars to stop for the pedestrian crossing etc. I was half way across on my way back to my car today when two young men pulled into the car park and clearly felt they had right of way. They then aggressively pretended to drive into me while shouting that I should look where I'm going etc. Obviously they were just OBLIVIOUS to the pedestrian crossing. I wasn't in the mood so shouted back that it's a pedestrian crossing and if they can't see that they shouldn't be driving. They were aggressive, unpleasant etc and after I'd crossed, roared past swearing at me.

Fine. Annoying, but fine.

Then I suddenly had a complete moment of panic as I realised that if they wanted to, they could very easily just drive round and continue to harass me from inside the car park etc and of course, there's never a lot of people around. So I dashed to my car prepared to hide behind other cars if they chose to come in my direction rather than heading up the ramp to the next level.

I was in the right. They didn't see a pedestrian crossing, tried to scare me, then shouted at me - all before I did a thing. But I was the one who was suddenly terrified. it makes me so angry.

Yeah but that doesn't mean we have to be scared of them all all the time.

True, but it is not better for us to condemn / fight it together as a society, rather than divide society up into competing groups?

No its not. Because its a form of self-deceit. We have to be able to appropriate target well identified and defined audiences to device policy solutions to tackle unwanted behaviours. Such as the recent adverts encouraging young men to call out their mates who are harassing women. That campaign just can't work if it is sex-neutral. The problem it is addressing is sex specific.

And?

Doesn't mean you have to continually be scared of men

Men attack and harm other men far more than women

You are at less of a risk alone at night with a random man than another male is

@broodybadger but this isn't about male on male violence is it!

The whole point is about male entitlement and the fact that they commit the majority of crime against women.

Christ on a wafer thin biscuit. It's like the whole NAMALT that brigade, no of course they aren't but some are so it's the reason we take precautions and have single sex spaces and have safeguarding policies.

I don’t think it’s a great comfort to think ‘men are statistically more likely to be attacked by other men’ when you’re being intimidated by a strange man.

@Badgirlriri Men are more at risk of being assaulted/murdered by OTHER MEN. Not by women.

It still proves that male violence is a problem, regardless of whether the victim is female or male. Males can defend themselves, women cannot. So no need to feel for males.

That is absolute rubbish. Women for example are the victim of rape and sexual assault by men and 98% of them are by men against women. Men are much less likely statistically to be a victim of violence or assault, sexual or otherwise.

@CatsandFish

Are sexual assaults the only thing people can be scared of?

Murder, assault, GBH are all male on male crimes predominantly

A man out walking alone has a far higher risk of being harmed than a lone woman

Those are facts

Of course it is

As people have since commented men have it easy

They don't need to be scared when out and about

That's not correct

I don’t think that’s relevant to a lone woman being intimidated by a strange man though.

@Pumperthepumper

It is when posters have moved the conversation on to how wonderful it is for men to have nothing to worry about

Ffs

Same.
I would like to walk in the dark, in quiet places, as my DH does.

Is it? How does that make any difference to the OP not being scared?

Yes . And if something did happen idiots blame the woman for being alone in the first place . No . We should be able to go where we want when we want . The fault is not ours .

@broodybadger *A man out walking alone has a far higher risk of being harmed than a lone woman

Those are facts*

Oh my goodness, you can't truly believe that! A woman out walking alone has a far, far, far greater risk of being harmed than a man walking alone.

That, is common sense and facts.

I've taught all boys classes in schools and the way some of them have spoken to me and treated me is disgusting. If I were a 6ft5 muscly intimidating bloke I am 99% sure they would not have acted like that

You dont think he feels any fear or intimidation?

He might not say it or show it, but I'd bet he does

@CatsandFish

Unfortunately crime stats don't back up your, frankly strange opinion on this matter

@Artistique most men are not 6ft5 and muscular either

Very few men are

Even in Netherlands the average height is 5.9....
Sorry, couldn't help random fact

Iv never felt threatened like this either. I’m not scared of men and never have been.

Sorry but men are threatened. Perhaps not as much and we might not show it but we most certainly are. I'm not sure if women do this but men are constantly sizing other men up and assessing risk.

In the OP's situation I might have done the same but the outcome might have been a lot different. It's a game of chance and one I'm not that keen to play nowadays as I don't fancy getting my head kicked in.

You’re not sure if women risk assess the danger from strange, aggressive men?

@broodybadger On the contrary! Crime stats back up what I say, they certainly don't back up your very bizarre narrative.