To turn down a job because they refused flexible working even though it was higher paid.

[SummerFlops]

I have been offered a job which is more money. Not massively loads. It's in my home town so no travel costs. So taking into account that and the slightly higher pay, I would be better off by £190 per month.

I asked if I could work flexibly in the mornings and afternoons to do a school run for one academic year so till July 2023. I would make the time up by working earlier from home and later in the evening. School run takes 20 mins max there and back so 40 mins of the day total.

The reason why I asked was so that I could help out my partner who has to do 2 school runs at different schools so pretty hectic. No after school club possible. This is just for this academic year and then she will be fine as eldest will be in secondary and can make own way.

The manager refused saying that that isn't what they do and there's an expectation that everyone needs to be in the office and available at any time if anything comes up. Like what i have no idea - I am not an ER doctor or anything. She also insinuated that I wasn't committed to the job by asking this.

Looks like they don't have a flexible working culture and I feel like turning the offer down but at the same time the extra money would be nice too!

YABU - of course they don't have to accept your request and you're being silly for expecting it.

YANBU - they don't seem like a forward thinking organisation and they'll be other stuff stuck in the dark ages. Run for the hills.

Neither absolute is correct. It will depend very much on the business. Some will have enough going for them in other respects to be able to get away with a bums on seats in the office for the sake of it culture and still get decent staff. Others won't. It will depend on what else they're offering, how prestigious they are, and the competitiveness of the sector generally.

@vivainsomnia exactly but in here its like another world
I know only a handful of people who have flexible working in reality ( myself included) although Im not sure how they would be if i needed to leave office twice a day every day as 20 mins could never be guaranteed.
Start after school run , do school run yes
But most of my friends do not have the luxury of flexible working

I’m really surprised at some of the answers here. In my work lots of people pop away to do the school runs. Most people wfh but I don’t think anyone has it in their contracts: they just started doing it during lockdown

Starting at 9 and taking your lunch break 2:45-3:30 and finishing at 6 is a full day. I can't see the issue, unless the job requires someone to man a desk from 8-4. But you'd still need a lunch break.

If I was an employer (and I have been!) I wouldn't have an issue with that pattern at all!

On the days I go to work, I log on about 8:30 at home, at 9 we have a Teams 'stand up ' meeting .
When that finishes at 9.15 I get in the car & drive to work, I don't even have any kids just shit traffic!

I couldn't work for a. Inflexible company!

The extra money could be used for a childminder to take your child home?

So who would do the school run then and if you’re eldest is 6 who looks after them after you drop them home and go back to work?

I started working last month at a new job, i leave work at 2:45 to collect my DC from school and log in again at 4pm and work until 5, whilst my DC (reception) has some snacks. When i wfh, i go to the gym’s spin class over lunch time. Flexibility and trust is mandatory for me looking for any new position.

Honestly I still think it would be a bad idea for OP to take this job even without the childcare issue. The company are obviously very inflexible. So it's just not one to go for, unless either you know you feel the same as them about presence in the office or the compensation outweighs the negatives. £190 isn't enough when so many office type jobs offer better flexibility than this.

I think the flexible thing works better when you are established within a company and they know you and your work ethic. I don't think your ask is unreasonable, but maybe they are concerned it's a "thin end of the wedge" scenario?

Remembering the vast sums of money we all used to have to spend to cover all of this off pre pandemic 😩

They don't have to accept it but you also dont have to work there !
I wouldnt the comment about commitment shows the kind of culture they have

I don't get the mumsnet al jobs should be flex , what if your customer faced and someone has to be available between 9-5 , I mean if your checkout at tesco you can't just leave for 20 mins to collect your kids
So many roles cannot be totally flexible its just not possible

Agree with this 👆🏻

It's a bit of a middle class luxury. Imagine the men doing the recycling popping off between 8.45-9.30. There's many jobs with no flexibility. If you factor lunch in then 2.30-3.30 only leaves about an hour meeting time prior to school pick up.

I think you could agree to pay childcare for the afternoon if they will agree to a later start.

Were you planning to collect, drop home & then leave kids home & go back in?

YANBU

They sounds closed minded and I'd run to the hills as fast as k can - hate that kind of thinking in an organisation.

I've declined jobs before do the same reason with no regrets, and told them why so they know they're losing ppl because they aren't flexible.

Absolutely not. What will this company behave like when your child is ill or something else crops up. It’s fine for them to not agree to your exact requests but I would expect a conversation and negotiation not a shut down. If it were a man I’d say 🚩

YABU

I’ve never worked in a job that offers flexible working.
So I’ve had to use childminders and school clubs.

Some places can offer it and some places can’t.

This place can’t so you’re going to have to find one that does.

It’s rubbish but unfortunately part of having kids.

Does neither school offer a breakfast or afterschool club?

Your wife could drop the older one off at breakfast club and then take the younger one.

If not is there a child one or even a trusted babysitter that could drop the oldest to school?

It’s a shame you’re having to turn down extra money just because of the school run.

*childminder

Really? My last 3 jobs I've had similar arrangements in place. As long as the job gets done to a high standard, they're happy

I don’t think 40 mins out is too much per day if you say work through your lunch and use that time to collect after school.

I have this flexibility in my job. How do they cope when staff take 1 hour out at lunch time if it’s such a big deal? You’ll just be out for a different slot in the day to most people’s lunch break. Assuming you are allowed a 1hour lunch break what does it matter when in the day you take it?

@SummerFlops

We have people working from home but taking time out for school runs is a no-go it's deemed as working from home not a childcare solution and our policy is quite strict on this.

Would a childminder be an option?

It’s not the right culture for you. Everyone will be clockwatching.

Reading some of the comments on here it’s like the pandemic never happened!

Totally fair game to ask and as pp have said the received reaction to your request doesn't say much about the culture of the organisation.

Employers are going to miss out on good talent if they continue to lack flexibility.

Not really a middle class luxury. At our school, which is shall we say not really MN approved naice, quite a few of the parents who have trades or provide services fit school runs round them. Gardeners, mobile hair and nails, window cleaners and the like. If you have your own business and work only in your locality it can be doable. They'd have more flex than in lots of traditionally middle class jobs.

Yanbu it's your choice.

But it's slightly implausible that you would arrive at work, get anything meaningful done before 8.30am or so, then get home, collect child, drop to school and return to the office within 20 minutes, unless the school is very near home in which case can't your child walk? Perhaps with another neighbouring kid? Or find a neighbour walking kids to the school and ask if he can tag along, I don't think people would mind this being asked for a y6 child who is likely to be independent & well behaved.