To turn down a job because they refused flexible working even though it was higher paid.

[SummerFlops]

I have been offered a job which is more money. Not massively loads. It's in my home town so no travel costs. So taking into account that and the slightly higher pay, I would be better off by £190 per month.

I asked if I could work flexibly in the mornings and afternoons to do a school run for one academic year so till July 2023. I would make the time up by working earlier from home and later in the evening. School run takes 20 mins max there and back so 40 mins of the day total.

The reason why I asked was so that I could help out my partner who has to do 2 school runs at different schools so pretty hectic. No after school club possible. This is just for this academic year and then she will be fine as eldest will be in secondary and can make own way.

The manager refused saying that that isn't what they do and there's an expectation that everyone needs to be in the office and available at any time if anything comes up. Like what i have no idea - I am not an ER doctor or anything. She also insinuated that I wasn't committed to the job by asking this.

Looks like they don't have a flexible working culture and I feel like turning the offer down but at the same time the extra money would be nice too!

YABU - of course they don't have to accept your request and you're being silly for expecting it.

YANBU - they don't seem like a forward thinking organisation and they'll be other stuff stuck in the dark ages. Run for the hills.

This is part of the problem, women especially talk negotiate themselves down before they even approach an employer so what is a perfectly reasonable ask is suddenly unreasonable because so many have talked themselves down, gone in too low and struggled on with the crappy option.

Ask for what you need and want. That's how employers know!

Does not sound like you would fit in well in this job. Look for something else more flexible.

Really? For the past 28 years, every job I've had, I've started at 10am and finished at either 6pm or 2.30, logging on when I got home to continue working from there. I guess I've had very flexible employers, as I've always had it written into my contract.

YANBU - companies need to adapt or die. This is the way the world of work is going and importantly this what the new generation of workers are after too. If companies want to attract the best talent they need to offer flexibility.

This would be fine where I work.

There's no rule that says you have to accept a job that you've been offered so you can't be unreasonable not to.

If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you, move on and find one that does, no point in giving that job any more headspace.

If they don't offer flexible working, they don't. Look for somewhere that does offer it.

Seems a big ask - leaving the office to pick up your kids during working hours. Asking to start later (I used to start at 9.15 for instance) would likely to have been met more favourably than twice a day

You are not being unreasonable. I had an interview for a job and I asked about the hours and they weren't as flexible as I would like so I turned down the next round. It would also have been more money. If something doesn't work for you and what you are earning now is alright for you, don't make the move

You have been extremely lucky. This style of working wasn't widespread before the pandemic.

I can see both sides to be honest. I work in the public sector and my manager can and will be very flexible, however it is also about the impact on the team as well as the individual. We have had two people return from mat leave when flexible working remained very flexible because of covid and accessing childcare was more difficult. However, as time has gone on things have changed and, whilst they expect the arrangements to continue and argue they can get things done on their own caseloads, this been at huge detriment to other team members because our job does not really work like that. I am sympathetic because I have had to juggle childcare in the past, late DH worked shifts and when he died I needed wrap around care. However, there is a certain level of entitlement and the reality is, whilst they say they can continue to work effectively- other present team members always have to be the ones dealing with emergencies, covering for those on leave etc.

£190 a month extra isn't worth the inflexibility, so I wouldn't take it.

That your future manager implied you weren't committed is also a red flag. I'd stay where you are and look for a job in a company with a better culture.

Difficult if no one else has that flexibility - they obviously need to move with the times but if this would be an arrangement that would not be available to others then I can see why they may not be keen. Just say no and keep looking - no need to be upset or similar - you asked they said no. And remember the classic mn phrase - no is a complete sentence...

I work in tech. Everyone's works flexibly and jobs that don't look really old fashioned and miserable these days. They'll never attract the best workers. They'll just get dinosaurs who love clockwatching.

There's loads of flexible, realistic roles, Op, you'll find something better.

Agree nova the how they said no just makes me get that Dinosair vibe too.

Can your partner use before and after school club to make their school run easier?

My DH started a new job this week and said 'Ill be offline for a bit at 3 to pick the kids up' and his lead, also male, said 'yeah no problem, same for me.'

Literally never been an issue in tech, and tech practises like WFH are spreading everywhere.

I have a flexible work arrangement like this. Essentially I take a 30 minute break at lunchtime then use my other 30 mins if I need to collect anyone - I also start at 8:30 instead of 9:30 and my login is visible/it's obvious I'm working at that time so I build up 'credit'. I work for a brilliant company and a great line manager and being a single parent I absolutely couldn't function without this flexibility. They get a bit more than the 37.5 hours a week I'm paid for and I get to be flexible around my teens needs (and yes they still need support in spite of not being littlest any more). I smash my targets and I work hard because I'm treated like an adult who knows how to manage my time and balance out my life!

They don't have to say yes and 20 mins could turn into 40 mins, not all roles can be flexible
I think people on here don't realise that

100% this.

Run for the hills. It's one thing them not offering as full a flexitime arrangement as you ideally want, that might not be insurmountable in itself, but the expectation that everyone's office based or they aren't committed? Nah, they're too backward to consider.

companies need to adapt or die
No they don't. The world doesn't revolve around primary school children. Working life doesn't stop for 1h between 9 and 10 and 2:30-3:30.

Childminders, school clubs still exist. The fact that parents think the onus is on the workplace to be flexible because parents don't want to pay doesn't mean business will have to adapt. They are many good people to employ who don't have primary school children or who are happy to use childcare.

You asked, they said no.

I don't get the mumsnet al jobs should be flex , what if your customer faced and someone has to be available between 9-5 , I mean if your checkout at tesco you can't just leave for 20 mins to collect your kids
So many roles cannot be totally flexible its just not possible

Terrible! An employee wants medical treatment and you want them to start paying for it by giving up their free time at weekends! Glad I don't work for a firm like yours. Shocking behaviour and completely unreasonable.

This.