Page 8 | To think they should sack her?

Yellowdove · 2022-09-13T18:13:53+00:00

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

Vikinga · 13/09/2022 20:26

That's really odd. Also really odd that you haven't said anything. I'd have said that your aunt knows her and knows she's married to a man etc.

Original poster

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:26

Would you not be scared that someone had been living a complete fantasy? For months? Worried about potential mental health conditions? Worried it actually not in their best interest to have the fantasy ripped away from them?

OP posts:

Fififelix · 13/09/2022 20:27

You sound really unhealthily obsessed OP and a bit unhinged. Her private life is nothing to do with you . You need to take a step back and not let it get to you.

Tamworthian · 13/09/2022 20:27

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 13/09/2022 20:22

Wind your neck in OP 🙄

Predictable, along with the ‘are you on glue OP’ comment above.

SirDavidAttenborough · 13/09/2022 20:27

Here we have a classic AIBU poster. Noticing the thread isn’t going her way she pounces with an additional ‘fact’ about seeing her at her aunts to try and swing things her way.

Andromachehadabadday · 13/09/2022 20:27

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:24

What’s weird is the absolute bullshit people are spouting about how they wouldn’t find it odd at all. Or that it’s completely normal behaviour.
I can accept that I’m wrong for thinking it’s a work related issue.But my unhappiness with it frankly is completely appropriate.

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No it’s not.You wouldn’t have known anything if you hadn’t been gossiping with your Aunt. Your unhappiness is because she hasn’t been sacked. You have no right to any detail true or not about someone’s private lifeZ

What would possess you to Go her best friend in HR with this claim and try and get her sacked?

Its highly unlikely, that she is lying just for the sake of lying when her best friend also works there.

So chances are, there’s something you aren’t aware of or have something wrong. But so desperate, to get rid of her you are being ridiculous.

Dreamwhisper · 13/09/2022 20:28

I can accept that I’m wrong for thinking it’s a work related issue.But my unhappiness with it frankly is completely appropriate

Yes I can definitely understand that. You would need to be 100% sure of your assumptions though.

WarmChocolateFudgeCake · 13/09/2022 20:28

No one I work with knows I'm married or how many children I have, it's never come up in conversation, we work from home so you don't tend to discuss home life as we are mostly in meetings with lots of people. I could literally invent a home life if I wanted to and they'd never find out. The only reason you know she isnt being truthful is because someone has been gossiping. Your aunt really shouldn't be telling you who's kids she looks after, that's none of your business. Your aunt is in the wrong here for discussing children she looks after with other people. For all you know the work colleague could have more children, maybe her childminder doesn't know everything about her...

Tamworthian · 13/09/2022 20:28

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:26

Would you not be scared that someone had been living a complete fantasy? For months? Worried about potential mental health conditions? Worried it actually not in their best interest to have the fantasy ripped away from them?

Yes, I’d be concerned. Based on the responses here though, apparently you should 100% ignore it so you’re not a gossip, a bully, on glue or need to wind your neck in. 🤷‍♀️

Doyoumind · 13/09/2022 20:28

She's only been employed there a few months but is the HR Manager's best friend?🤔

Did the HR Manager employ her best friend, in which case you would be a fool to complain to her, or did they instantly become best friends?

TheKipperAndTheCorpse · 13/09/2022 20:29

Agree with previous poster that it's odd you haven't said anything.

Colleague; I went to legoland with my twins at the weekend.
You; Oh, I forgot to say I saw you with a little boy when I was arriving at my aunt's house recently, she's a childminder. Do you have a little boy as well?

Colleague either continues to lie but knows you've called her on it or gives you some more information you don't have. Maybe there has been a family breakdown or something.

BobbysGirly · 13/09/2022 20:29

Because she had a little boy instead of 2 twin girls. That not strike you as odd

How old is her little boy? Does she have any other children that you definitely know about?

giveovernate · 13/09/2022 20:29

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:26

Would you not be scared that someone had been living a complete fantasy? For months? Worried about potential mental health conditions? Worried it actually not in their best interest to have the fantasy ripped away from them?

Has she made any work errors or let work down for these "months"?

Fififelix · 13/09/2022 20:30

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:26

Would you not be scared that someone had been living a complete fantasy? For months? Worried about potential mental health conditions? Worried it actually not in their best interest to have the fantasy ripped away from them?

You are starting to sound more unhinged than your colleague. You have raised it with HR there's nothing else you can do as long as she's doing her job. Just don't discuss any private things with her.

Andromachehadabadday · 13/09/2022 20:30

Tamworthian · 13/09/2022 20:25

That nobody at all thinks they’d be uncomfortable working with someone regularly telling outrageous lies and that OP is the one with a problem for feeling uncomfortable with it.

Imagine the reverse ‘I like to tell complete lies to my colleagues about my personal life. AIBU that they should trust me in a professional setting?’ She’d have got completely pasted.

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I think it would be more ‘my colleague is really nosey, so I make up stuff about my personal life. She knows my friend and childminder, who she keeps trying to get information from so she is playing along as well. Aibu for winding my colleague up’

Cognacsoft · 13/09/2022 20:30

@Yellowdove I worked with a similar liar OP.
Yes, he got sacked eventually because he lied about home emergencies to leave work early and then lied about submitting a/l slips which meant his a/l was not being recorded and he was taking extra a/l.

Novum · 13/09/2022 20:30

Welshrarebitontoast · 13/09/2022 19:40

And yet here everyone is discussing the gossip generated by a childminder.

HR have basically said it’s not your business but you seem offended by that.

Perhaps she’s like my aunt, who was pregnant with twins, miscarried one, but will still refer to her son as one of twins. Who am I to judge if this is right or not?

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Hardly, given that she says both twins are girls.

Somethingsnappy · 13/09/2022 20:31

If you are absolutely right about all this, your colleague could be a pathological liar, which can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition. This would not be something your colleague would be doing for fun, or to benefit herself in any way. It might be worth reading up on it, and may help you to feel less irritated/upset by it.

Boxowine · 13/09/2022 20:31

What kind of work are you in that requires employees to be trustworthy? Are you responsible for the city water supply for instance?

Onceuponaheartache · 13/09/2022 20:31

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 19:33

And also I didn’t realise childminders where part of some kind of secret service. They are obviously bound by iron clad confidentiality agreements I wasn’t aware of. 🙄

Yes it is called GDPR and if i was your colleague I would be raising hell at the idle gossip being banded about.

You do not know for a fact she is lying. It could very well be your aunt.

But either way you and your aunt sound vile.

Perhaps you should be sacked for discussing a colleague and your job on a social media platform.

FlissyPaps · 13/09/2022 20:32

@Yellowdove … at the beginning of the thread you wanted her sacked? Because the sensitive data your place of work was at risk. Now you’re trying to say you’re concerned for her mental health and her “fantasy” being ripped away?

Which is it?

Original poster

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:32

Cognacsoft · 13/09/2022 20:30

@Yellowdove I worked with a similar liar OP.
Yes, he got sacked eventually because he lied about home emergencies to leave work early and then lied about submitting a/l slips which meant his a/l was not being recorded and he was taking extra a/l.

From everyone who’ve shared stories of compulsive liars in work they’ve all gone on to cause work related problems and get sacked eventually.

OP posts:

courtgou · 13/09/2022 20:32

Well maybe your colleagues best friend in HR tells her what you’ve said about your aunt and she reports her. Colleague can’t be trusted but neither can your childminder aunt, unfortunately though while the situation with your colleague doesn’t effect her work, your aunt gossiping about her client definitely will effect hers and breaks confidentiality in a major way so will lead to losing her job.

Rosscameasdoody · 13/09/2022 20:32

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:00

I can accept that I’ve been unreasonable in wanting her gone now. I still believe eventually as other people have said she’ll start to cause problems in work. A liar can’t help themselves. It’s a shame it can’t be dealt with before it gets to that point but I accept it. I feel fiercely protective of our clients. But I accept there’s nothing I can do.

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Again, it’s not a work issue at the moment and you have no way of knowing whether it will ever be. It absolutely can’t be ‘dealt with before it gets to that point’ because disciplinary action of any kind for something that isn’t work related is inviting trouble for the employer. That said, I’m sure that if it does spill over into work related issues, you’ll be on hand to make sure it’s swiftly dealt with !!

Stripedbag101 · 13/09/2022 20:32

Yellowdove · 13/09/2022 20:26

Would you not be scared that someone had been living a complete fantasy? For months? Worried about potential mental health conditions? Worried it actually not in their best interest to have the fantasy ripped away from them?

Are you a mental health professional? Are you and this lady doctors?

no-one here has said it’s normal behaviour. Just that it’s not a work issue and you are oddly focused on this.

you don’t like her. That’s okay. She hasn’t been truthful about her personal life - as far as you know.

those aren’t work issues.

if she has lied about a work related issue in a way that impacts you or your patients/clients then report it.

I assume you are home helps for elderly clients? Does her inventing children (if she has indeed one that) impact the quality of care she provides? Probably not.