To think they should sack her?

[Yellowdove]

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

Absolutely none of your business if she's doing her job efficiently and correctly.

I frequently tell a nosey bitch inquisitive colleague that I hate kids when she asks (again) when me & DH are going to have them. As if I'm going to explain to her we've been TTC for 2 years. I'm sure that if we're ever lucky enough she'll be stunned when she finds out, but I've lied because it's NOT. HER. BUSINESS.

(Aforementioned colleague turned up unannounced and uninvited at our wedding ceremony, camera in hand, just to demonstrate how intrusive she is towards people's personal lives).

If you're really that bothered OP then confront her. Moaning here won't help.

Why did you tell HR? Are you very young?
Do you realise that people have all sorts of personal problems that their colleagues don’t know about and they don’t disclose? Addictions, mental illness, invisible disabilities, involvement with social service, financial debts….. they do t discuss them at workplaces where ‘trust is required’ because they manage to fulfil their employment contracts just fine.

You need to take a step back.

How many hours of work time have you wasted gossiping about her, recording what she says and reporting to HR? Unless you have something more concrete than posted here you are in danger of being the one on HRs radar.

Various intelligence services, etc, personal, I presume give mistruths, on a daily basis, so yes some can lie about one area and be honest in another area.

sometimes I use cover stories, for different reasons, not because I prefer to mislead, but more that it makes things simpler.

Would it be easier to just focus on work and ignore the social chitchat?

Just a thought...

had a colleague who had severe mental health illnesses.
her invented home life was perfectly healthy.when on reality it was often turmoil. she was embarrassed,ashamed even.and don’t want people views to be shaped by her illness(which they Deff would have)
she was the best worker on the ward.loved by everyone and patients favourite.
and exceptional at her job.
you would never have known.

We only found out because I was on the way to visit Aunt as colleague was leaving the house. She didn’t see me but I saw her
Yeah, I'm sure that's how you came to be gossiping with your Aunt 🙄

Look, you don't like her, I think we 'get' it. Seems like you might feel threatened by her as well
she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue

Not a good look. I'm glad HR knows you've been gossiping about a work colleague with your Aunt though. With your level of obsession, I'm sure there is some action that will eventually be able to be taken against you.

I had a friend from school like this. Lost track of how many jobs she has had. Her CV was a tissue of lies. She said that she had a degree which was a lie, copied my college work. Her husband cracked under the fantasies she wove and left her. She only had the one child who's a mixed up dope smoking hippie type with two kids.

She won't last in this job @Yellowdove so I'd relax and watch it implode

Her personal life is none of your business. You and your aunt are nasty gossips.

Your colleague lies about things which are nothing to do with work, your aunt breaches the confidentiality of people she works for. Your aunt is the one who deserves to lose her job, not your colleague.

Are you sure this is work and not school OP and HR is the school principal? You're actually acting like a toddler.

Em .. should your aunt be struck off then as she is breaching confidentiality. Your colleague employs your aunt and your collegue should sack her because what your aunt is doing wrong is related to the job!

Aslong as your colleague is doing her job, not breaching policies (unlike your aunt) and doing nothing illegal then no its nothing to do with her iob .. or you for that matter.

OP, you are obsessed with this woman. Just stop.

You have raised your concern with your employer. They have told you it’s not a work issue. It’s none of your bloody business and your aunt needs to stop gossiping about the children she works with. For all you know, there might be a good reason why your colleague doesn’t reveal the truth about her personal life. She might be under bloody witness protection for all you know. Just keep your beak out and do your own job.

Also, if you are so concerned with trust around personal information, stop posting gossipy shit about other people on a public forum.

People who lie constantly are feeling low, proberly low self esteem, and not many friends. It’s strange really the concept in reality. Because if the woman didn’t lie, she would be more thought off. But this is the way the mind works. People lie for a reason, usually to big themselves up, abuse or maybe mental issues.

if she has a close friend at work, maybe they could support her, and perhaps she will realise there is no reason to exaggerate the truth.

be kind to the lady, she obv works well and no complaints.

Some people just enjoy making their lives out to be different (usually more interesting) from how they really are, and watching people's reactions to what they say.

There are plenty of such people on this forum (see passing off hotel rooms as their own bedroom at home).

Yup. Always found it’s because they never feel good enough.

What!?

Yes that is very weird. She needs professional help. Obviously really suffering with her mental health. I would be worried about what she might make up if I upset her.

Wow pile on! Some mumsnetters seem deranged, tearing this woman to bits

Yes I agree...it's utterly bizarre.

Yes. Some of the threads I see deleted for ‘not in the spirit’ I can’t understand why but then you get this type of pile on and I’m just 🤷‍♀️ There’s troll hunting and personal attacks and just on and on and on. You’d think the OP had murdered someone vs looking for an opinion on a colleague behaving strangely.

Poster ages ago that used to show off about her house and was found out with a reverse image search of her supposed bedroom.

You sound like a complete and utter bully. Grow up.

Honestly, I think this thread sets a record. Its peak mumsnet insanity.

I'm genuinely disturbed by the turn this thread took.
I'm also guessing that the majority of people who are saying that OP is unreasonable and obsessed, were disgusted by Boris Johnson's lies. But someone who turns her little boy into twin girls and her husband into a same sex partner is absolutely to be trusted, she's just a bit silly.

OP, you've told HR, and that's all you can do. It might seem that they're not doing anything, but it will have been noted. They just can't talk to you about it..

Ironic.

I agree.

OP is creepy