To think they should sack her?

[Yellowdove]

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

None of your business, you have no idea why your colleague is telling you things you think are lies, keep your nose well and truly out.

She’s got a very unusual name so through that and doing some social media searching it’s all come out

You researched her? That’s not a weird thing to do in the slightest 🙄 If you think someone is lying to you and taking you for a fool, then you steer the conversation back to work every time. If it carries on, you bring up the fact that your aunty is a child minder who lives on the street in question. What you don’t do is whip out your deerstalker and eyeglass and start gathering evidence in an attempt to get her sacked. Wtf is wrong with you? You’re as bad as she is. Just do your job and mind your own business until she gives you cause to believe she’s lying about work.

She must be really likable if she's good friends with your aunt who she's only own known through childminding (enough that she's shared her 'real' life with her) and best friends with the HR partner after working there any a few months.

Maybe she does actually have a varied and interesting life.

I would feel sorry for her as she's clearly got issues but actually I find her cosplaying as someone in a same sex relationship very offensive. It's a bit like that white woman who pretended to be black. Especially after so many gay people feel or have felt forced into hiding their sexuality or relationships at work.

I'd be tempted to say "oh I saw you at aunt's the other day, she minds your kids then? what a coincidence!" It might get her to stop and think.

FWIW I knew a similar level liar, lying about relationships and personal circumstances, but they only lied about their personal life and it didn't affect their work.

It is creepy. I would be calling her BS every time. I have a harder time than most pretending that things are true when they obviously aren't.

I think she should sack your aunt if she's discussing her client with you....

Really odd response, one of many.

@Yellowdove : HR won't sack her because she gave correct information to HR. It seems she lies to you for some reason.

You might be out of a job tomorrow. What happens if she's on Mumsnet and realises this is about her. She could go to HR about you and also get your aunt done for breaking confidentiality about her child.

This thread is so weird. So none of you would find it strange that someone lies about being in a same sex marriage or how many kids they have? It’s not really normal behaviour.

I would find it weird. I would either call them out on it or avoid them. I wouldn't go to HR to report on their supposed lies based on gossipy evidence.

Op if your convo with your aunt was morally ok/ not breaking confidentiality etc why not just ask her? Aunt sally says she looks after your 2 kids. I must've got confused I thought you had twin girls! I'm so sorry!
See what she says.

Of course it is. If someone is an incorrigable liar, it's not going to be reserved for one part of life only. She's inherently untrustworthy.

@LongLivedQueen and… what can you do about it?

Not being able to do much about it doesn't mean it's not an issue, or anyones business.

Perhaps she does, as she’s never lied at work. Perhaps she thinks she doesn’t owe you any of her private information about her personal life? Why do you think you are entitled to know so much about her private life?

Good lord! If not being creepy we’re a job spec, half the male bar staff, male security staff, and a good few men in delivery jobs would be permanently unemployed.

It is not a work issue unless and until she makes it one.
If I tell my colleagues I live in a super yacht and party with Branson and have kids with a celebrity. It would be BS, and they would think me a) strange and b)untrustworthy, but neither would affect my ability to do my job and anyone thinking of "reporting" me for being a fantastic would just be gossiping.

You may as well report every coworker who has ever cheated on their spouse. They are inherently untrustworthy too.

I don’t think it’s fair though that stupid mistakes made at 16 are used against someone 15 years later when I had left that behind me in my teen years. Also dragging children into it ? Not ok

Wow pile on! Some mumsnetters seem deranged, tearing this woman to bits.

Finding it a strange thing to do and thinking someone should be sacked for it are two different things.
Nobody has said it's normal (that I can see). They've just said it's not OP's business or their place to report them for it.

Nonsense. There are many jobs where your co-workers not being able to trust you would absolutely affect your and their ability to do your job properly.

Surprised you can't see that.

Maybe she’s testing your aunt’s confidentiality?

I worked with someone who told us that she was dating a famous pop star who was having huge sell out concerts at the time. She obviously wasn’t but people went along with her as they thought it was funny. I always felt pretty sorry for her but she was a happy person, very good at her corporate job and she made the office a more cheerful place.

Her private life is none of your business. No wonder sone people choose to remain closed off and private in work.

Then which would be better, the op wanting one word answers or a robust debate ?

Whilst “the liar” seems a bit unhinged, can anyone provide an example of where lying about things which have zero relation or impact on work would cause a bona fide HR issue?