To think they should sack her?

[Yellowdove]

Colleague in work seems to lie a lot about her home/ family life that are easily proven to be untrue. However, she is really good at her job and has never lied about a work related issue (as far as we know). My point is how can we trust her if she lies about such pointless stuff in such a compulsive way?! HR seems to be saying as a it isn’t a work issue there’s nothing we can do. But how is it not a work issue?

Unless the lies are directly relevant to her work, this is no reason for sacking her. And your aunt should not be gossipping about her and her children - that is unprofessional.

Just thinking this too.
OP and Aunt spoke so why not speak "naturally" and with the colleague too?

But not the morals of those who use the drugs caffeine and alcohol...

Are you sure this work colleague and your aunt/childminder friend whatever aren’t trying to set YOU up as a bully and gossip .. I would be very careful . If HR knew the extent you were going to they will be dragging you in for bullying , harassment and potentially stalking

I'd rather it was looked after by her than you and your auntie - she's not the one gossiping about personal information.

But you don't know.all this OP. You are assuming based in what your aunt said. I doubt your aunt knows the ins and outs of this woman's life.

Why don’t you just call her out on it and say ‘oh I thought you were married to Jeff wasn’t he introduced as your husband last week to blah blah’.
it is wierd but not really your business xx

So if your aunt is a good childminder AND a good friend, but has concerns about your colleague, what action has she taken?
As a friend, she could be in a good position to have a diplomatic, friendly heart-to-heart with her about her behaviour? Or even a discreet word with her partner (also a good friend). I'm guessing not, as then she'd have to reveal your relationship and what you have been discussing, eh?
Maybe as a professional, she has seen if there is any harm being done to the child(ren). If so, she'd have a responsibility to report her safeguarding concerns to social services or NSPCC.
So how concerned is she?

Sometimes people lie to cover up insecurities or questions especially when they comes to their personal lives. I know I've lied in the past about having a partner because I felt I would be judged for being single. Not saying it's right but there's usually a reason behind why someone lies which may not be obvious.

Wow. What do you have against her and how have her 'lies' (in your opinion) affected you or her work?

i feel like if I went to hr where I work and said ‘Jenny says she has a girl but really she has a boy’ I’d be the one in some kind of disciplinary! Are you her manager?

Did you know the HR lady was her friend when you told her OP? How did that feel? I would have found that conversation v difficult.

Is your aunt still friends with this colleague? I hope not or its v two faced. If they r no longer friends, has your aunt told this person why?

Have you approaches this colleague and asked them how come they have a girlfriend and a husband? Or r you being a bit two faced with her?

Actually your childminder aunt is bound by the data protection act so she shouldn't be discussing anything with you. By the way you've gone on in this thread I reckon she's winding you up because you're so bloomin nosy!

It seems like you've randomly got it in for her @Yellowdove .

At the end of the day OP, you think her behaviour is a sackable offence and UK Employment Law disagrees. You have raised it with HR and they have told you the facts. HR may well have discussed the issue with your colleague but you would not be given the details of that discussion because that, like your colleague's private life, is none of your business. You don't have to like your colleague. You don't have to be friends with her.

You admit she is good at her job: are you threatened by her performance? You say you are fiercely protective over your clients - maybe you should use some of that compassion towards your colleague. You have no idea why she is lying, yet you seem determined to vilify her to the point of trying to get her sacked from a job that you admit she does well! You could have just dropped your observations into conversation with her innocently, but instead you claim you were so uncomfortable and creeped out about it that you went behind her back to get her sacked instead. You chose to be a sneak rather than give her the benefit of the doubt.

It's strange that she makes things up, yes, but it doesn't give you the right to be so vindictive while claiming to have your clients' best interests at heart.

You have several choices:

1. Ask her about her lies and watch her squirm so you can feel justified and self-righteous at outing her.

1. Ignore the lies, be kind and courteous to her and accept that there may be many factors you're not aware of and she chooses not to share with you.

1. Leave and take your spitefulness elsewhere.

To clarify - I'm not denying your colleague's behaviour is strange, or suggesting you have to like it. What I'm saying is, trying to get her sacked was nasty and sly, and trying to stir up support on an online forum after being told by your HR department that it doesn't affect her ability to do her job is beyond belief. Look at the numbers: 95% of the people on here think YABU. If you won't believe HR, believe the other 600+ people who voted.

If I was her and you stirred and got me in trouble I would report your Aunt for breaking GDPR regulations as she should not be discussing her client with you

Are you jealous of how good she is at her job? Because it sounds like it...

Thats ridiculous and you know it.
There is a world of difference in the morality of drinking a cup of coffee and buying cocaine.
While I think alcohol use is horrible, and the social ramifications equally so, the illegal drugs trade is way, way more immoral.

The boy who cried wolf is a cautionary tale.

Op, is there a back story, do you have some personal issues that’s led to your obsession and Vindicativeness to this woman?

she’s not getting fired, she’s not caused any issue at work, she doesn’t lie at work, if in fact she’s not a divorcee now married to a woman with twin girls and a son, and is lying then it’s really none of your business.

honestly I think it best to focus on your pwn mental health.

I'm not sure why people are using the word obsessed in relation to the OP. If I knew someone who told such huge and fundamental lies about her children and her partner, I'd be absolutely gobsmacked. And yes, I wouldn't be able to believe a word they said or trust them remotely in a secure working environment.

I'm pretty sure that in real life, 95% of people who've posted on this thread would feel the same.

GDPR isn't remotely relevant to this situation.

Good grief.

Very unreasonable. People tell silly lies because they feel inadequate & think they need 'extra' to be liked or thought interesting.
She's hurting no-one &, as you state, is good at her job. Give her a break.

She's a grown adult. She doesn't get to just be called 'silly' for telling such massive and fundamental lies. Silly is for six year olds telling fibs.

A job you work in that relies heavily on tryst and handling sensitive data so much so that this person should not being doing their job, but only has one HR person.

Aye.