Period of mourning has sent some people batshit?

[LimpBiskit]

I've noticed a ramping up of crazy on here over the last few days with some odd threads. Also more fratchy interactions on more balanced ones. AIBU that the queen's death has destabilised things a bit?

I think it's more that she’s just always been there… it’s the symbolism. Literally the only constant thing I can think of from my birth till her death. She did the vast majority of speeches and visits etc. When I think of the monarchy I think of her… I don’t think of the new King or the extended royals. Her picture / symbolism is everywhere. On our money, stamps, old post boxes… and probably more I’ve forgotten.

I’m not a royalist but I did respect her mostly. I don’t respect any of the other royals particularly. I don’t think they will ever be able to live up to her if I’m honest. She was very devoted. I’ve not had to sing the national anthem since she passed and I don’t know how I’ll feel about that… “God save the King…” just doesn’t feel right.

I’m not crying into my coffee or depressed over it. Just a bit sad.

The media are all so far up establishment arse that they can't breathe! Total sycophancy making us all look batshit bonkers. Thanks a lot, BBC idiots.

I think it's like watching a play - you have to buy into the symbolism and emotionally connect to it in order to be moved. You know, from your seat on the balcony, that you are looking at props, actors saying lines and understanding a context which stands for something greater. With royal events, you suspend cynicism.

You can say after a play: "But that was a plasterboard wall which somebody wheeled off, and it was that man from 'Killing Eve'," but it's actually perfectly possible to enjoy theatre, if you have seen a few live plays, when at school and got into the hang of it.

Sure, for some the theatre experience may be alien. But it's disingenuous to express that it's inconceivable how vast numbers of people can join in official mourning for a monarch who played a symbolic role for 70 years.

Even the Christmas Day message was meaningful. Royalty visited Grenfall and, before that, Aberfan. They did connect events to meaningful reflection and they did mark what was spiritually important to people.

We have so much celebration and fuss over sportspeople and their achievement, that it's obviously within the human psyche to go a bit wild on occasions: it's within the range of normal, rather than being batshit.

I wonder if the people who can afford to mourn are those who are not worried about their immediate survival? Are you more likely to be crying if you know you have a warm home and dinner than if you are unable to pay your bills and have not eaten for a few days so you could feed your children instead?

You are right, it is too late. No going back now to any kind of normal, rational behaviours.

The hysteria and the polarisation is starting to disturb me a bit.

I'm not a royalist nor a hardline Republican. I have a pragmatic tolerance of the Royal Family, although I was a fan of the Queen as an individual I instinctively feel that its not a progressive institution and would be fine if it was phased out. So I'm pretty on the fence about the whole thing but I am REALLY tired of not being able to read about anything else in the papers, and of being told not to say anything that questions the validity of the institution.

I was taken aside at work earlier today because I expressed this view (in pretty mild and inoffensive language).

It does genuinely disturb me that in a constitutional democracy no discussion about the merits of the Royal Family is brooked because of this "period of mourning".

I absolutely respect that some people feel genuinely bereaved and I respect their right to mourn as they see fit. I wouldn't personally go down to queue to see the coffin but I'm very happy for others to and I would never be openly disrespectful or scornful of this. But when people tell me I'm not allowed to question the validity of the Royal Family in a public setting it does give me the heeby jeebies. I will be glad when this is all over.

The same people who insist we must all wear black, mourn and have no fun are the same who enjoyed the Covid restrictions and never wanted the schools to reopen. They are really lucky this year because they can roll straight from this into their November role as the Poppy police.

Whether you mourn might depend on your age. Older people might feel that the Queen has been with the population through some hard times and they might get a sense of royalty caring, based on what their memory tells them. A lot have people have expressed that their feelings are to do with the Queen always having been there, throughout their lives.

I also thinking mourning is a strange word. People probably feel sad in spurts. I don't think what they feel will be deep and continuous grief. Also, a funeral and the build up is a celebration of a life. People who queue up might want to celebrate a life.

I don't think you'd go and queue up for thirty hours if you had pressing problems at home. I certainly wouldn't be spending hours in a queue, although I can understand how some people will.

I suppose the circumstance of not eating anything at all for days must be an occasional one, as you would usually have to eat something to live . I certainly know what it is like not to have been able to have put the heating on in winter, some days, and to have felt very cold, sometimes, when living on my own, and I can still say that I appreciate the Queen - and so I don't think it is just the comfortably off who get the spirit of the last week.

yeah this.
I also think it’s fine to go “batshit” if that’s what this is. It’s quiet, respectful and hurts no one.

@lightisnotwhite

I also think it’s fine to go “batshit” if that’s what this is. It’s quiet, respectful and hurts no one.

Well... up to a point. But not if you require everyone else in an island of 68 million people also to go equally batshit or risk being accused of sedition. Which is kind of how it feels if you're not totally bought into all this...

@Diverseopinions That's interesting to hear. I suppose I do think of mothers I have met who skip meals so their children can eat. Or have no money on the meter for electricity for several days. Or go to foodbanks. I am sure they would get the spirit of the queen's passing, but perhaps not have much spare energy to be overcome by grief or tears. I am not thinking it's only the well off who can afford to mourn, more that the truly desperate maybe cannot. There are more and more of those people in our society now. I think you are probably right that the older generations have a longer memory of the queen that would include her more active years, so they are likely to feel more deeply.

She’s been a constant presence in most people’s lives. It does feel like a loss for a lot of people.
Also if the Queen can die, we can all die. It’s confronting people with the reality of the finiteness of their own lives. Even if it’s subconscious.

'Also if the Queen can die, we can all die. It’s confronting people with the reality of the finiteness of their own lives. Even if it’s subconscious.'

I don't think I am alone in having dealt with a number of bereavements already. I have also read of a number of much more disturbing deaths in the news. I have been much confronted by our finiteness so the queen's death is nothing new. I would think it's the same for most, unless you are very young and don't hear or see the news.

We are in an era where we don’t expect people to die anymore. The queen was 96. My mum died at 46. I’m just grateful for every year I get beyond 46. But none of my family get to 96 so I find it hard to understand the grief displayed by strangers to someone they don’t know. Have they not experienced family grief perhaps? My colleague had a week off work when her 18 year old cat with dementia died. It’s all slightly unreal this grief.

Individual journalists must be finding it hard though - the week long ordeal of endlessly repeating the same mindless things during which time actual journalism has gone out of the window.

That’s terrible - what did they say to you at work?

You’re right, you don’t need to see it. So why are you choosing to do so?

I don't get the angst and anger about this. There are over 80 freeview channels and free catch up on several channels. There's Prime for members and Netflix is about £6 a month.
Just choose something else to watch. Some of us with a hatred of football have had to do this for a looong time.

You clearly aren't coping with a recently bereaved mother with alzheimers who can't cope with stuff like Netflix.

Thank you for this. I just don’t recognise the world that people on here seem to live in - some friends I have are in favour of the monarchy, some are pro-republic but no-one is falling out about it. No republicans of my acquaintance are being forced to watch 24 hour coverage on TV nor are they so terrified by royalists that they feel compelled to go out and lay flowers against their will.

I just keep repeating to myself that Mumsnet is not real life.

It’s funny you should say that, as two countries only joined the Commonwealth in 2022 so they’re going to be a bit disappointed.

This is 100% correct.

The whole process is a manipulation from start to finish, designed to cement the monarchy.

Thats all this is.

The Royalists are simply blind to how they are being manipulated by the monarchy.

It really is quite sad to watch.

@RedheadIreland

Not English so this is all quite interesting to observe from a relative distance, over the water, but I am finding it a bit hard to understand the need of so many people to grieve or mourn for someone they have never met, I can't really work out how she has impacted the day to day lives ofost people. yes it's sad that someone has died but really is it going to impact a normal family in some massive way? Genuinely intrigued by it all, was trying to work out if we would have an equivalent reaction for someone and came up empty 🤔 it is interesting to see the drama of it all with the family etc

It's a media story. In my day to day life the topic is not coming up in conversation and people I know and come across are getting on with their lives. I don't know anyone who has travelled up to queue and we are just over an hour away from London by train. Although some of the local shops have decorated their windows and the church is going to have a 'gathering' outside at 8pm on Sunday. I have had two social events since last Thursday, one on the actual day of her death when it was initially briefly mentioned then forgotten and at the other it was not mentioned at all. Same with family, said 'that's sad' at the time but then moved on. It is literally endless on our TV channels and I think that has stirred up what was initially a muted response. Obviously many many people are invested and want to go to pay their respects but I am not seeing that in my world