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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Period of mourning has sent some people batshit?

237 replies

LimpBiskit · 13/09/2022 17:45

I've noticed a ramping up of crazy on here over the last few days with some odd threads. Also more fratchy interactions on more balanced ones. AIBU that the queen's death has destabilised things a bit?

OP posts:
WoodlandMummy · 14/09/2022 19:47

LePigeon · 13/09/2022 18:47

Oh dear. Here's another one.

The irony of @LetMeSpeak post 😂

WoodlandMummy · 14/09/2022 19:49

countrygirl99 · 14/09/2022 07:25

Shame Charles didn't wait until after the funeral to issue redundancy notices to long serving staff. Not too exhausted and grief stricken to do that was he.

Absolutely @countrygirl99

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 14/09/2022 19:58

As a person of 88 I am not trying to grab any chance before I die. I am old enough to have had my first child on Coronation Day in 1953.

My granny was quite the royalist. I think a lot of her generation were. When the last coronation happened she was one of only two households on the street with a TV, and half the street went to each of those houses to watch it. The sense of togetherness and community must have been quite something. It was, however, a different time, and my granny and I had very different views on the subject. I’ve been an ardent republican since I was a teenager (and there were a lot fewer of us around then).

I loved and admired the Queen and feel that some of you fail to realise how much the Monarchy means to the majority of the population.

I’m not sure that’s necessarily the case. Republicans are almost certainly a minority, although in the last decade numbers were visibly growing. Committed royalists are likely similarly a minority – currently a bigger one than republicans in the wake of the jubilee and now funeral – but as her reign recedes further into historical background, are set to become more so. The apathetic are far the greater majority, and this is a problem for the Windsors. Britons historically have little appetite for revolution or radical change, so my guess is there will be gradual constitutional change and the ‘handover’, for want of a better word, will be evolutionary as is the British way. It will end with a whimper, not a bang. But I do now think that at some point change will come.

It is disappointing to read that so many here have little understanding of national grief.

I disagree. I think this nation understands and respects national grief – or at least a sympathetic shock, a coming together and show of respect over horrifying situations – very well. We saw it with the 2007 terrorist attacks, with Grenfell, with the Manchester Arena bombing, and with Sarah Everard. For one, particularly privileged individual whose role was unelected, the sentiment is less comprehensible. A 96-year-old woman was ill, she was expected to die and she died. I’m sorry, on a human level, that a family have lost a beloved mother and granny. The ostentatious displays afterwards are something less comprehensible.

It will all be over by next Tuesday. I do believe in free speech and have no desire to shut Republicans up, though they will not get a fair hearing in these particularly sad days. Be patient. “This too shall pass” and it is but a short time of reflection.

It’s been an odd few years, and these events signal something different from the usual news stories. Some people are probably going along out of a sense of curiosity, wanting to be ‘part of history’, ‘say I was there’, etc. I don’t doubt some are genuinely upset. This, as you say, will quickly pass; novelty soon wears off. But the questions about the future of the UK constitution are only beginning. And I don't think they will go away.

notimagain · 14/09/2022 20:06

The Head of State in France is more political than ceremonial.

You are correct, but I was simply making the point that Mr Macron heading over to London for the day doesn't leave France without anybody at the helm to steer the economy or whatever needs a nudge that day whilst he is out of the office

Lapun · 14/09/2022 20:18

MarieIVanArkleStinks Thank you for such a well thought reply. I appreciate what you have said and I understand the difference in how you think from my generation. I wish some others could express themselves as well as you.

Grrrrdarling · 14/09/2022 20:20

LimpBiskit · 13/09/2022 17:45

I've noticed a ramping up of crazy on here over the last few days with some odd threads. Also more fratchy interactions on more balanced ones. AIBU that the queen's death has destabilised things a bit?

Those extra special people were already batsh1t crazy. This has just given them an outlet that allows them an excuse to be extra, extra ‘special’ 😂😂

Scarriff · 14/09/2022 21:11

Reading some of these remarks illustrates just how unpleasant some Mumsnetters are to those who think differently from them Batshit? Really. Was that absolutely necessary? Aren't you ever open to the idea that you might be wrong?

Comtesse · 14/09/2022 21:41

Anyone who thinks the spirit of the Queen was manifested as a sunbeam, a rainbow or a special cloud is batshit.

Insertdeadcatsnamehere · 14/09/2022 21:46

FromageRouge · 13/09/2022 21:42

You couldn’t. Not at the time. You had to keep your head down and keep quiet if you found it all OTT. It was a very febrile atmosphere that would brook no dissent. Later calmer voices spoke up.

Not that there was SM then.

No, you couldn't. Do you remember the shit Private Eye got for pointing out the hypocrisy of the press (Express and Mail etc) by comparing Diana headlines from the week before her death?

Stravaig · 14/09/2022 21:55

The Queue

SafeMove · 14/09/2022 22:01

This must be a north/south/London divide thing. Folk where I live are just going about their lives, maybe watching the TV a bit of an evening, maybe talk about it for 2 mins at work but calmly and with no aggro or arguing and most talking about how they are inteterested in it from a history POV.

Nowt queer as folk getting het up abput it.

Flossatops · 14/09/2022 22:27

LePigeon · 13/09/2022 18:47

Oh dear. Here's another one.

How are you helping the situation by belittling someone who is expressing an opinion? Is that no longer allowed? Perhaps 'LetMeSpeak' has a point.

countrygirl99 · 15/09/2022 05:45

Flossatops · 14/09/2022 22:27

How are you helping the situation by belittling someone who is expressing an opinion? Is that no longer allowed? Perhaps 'LetMeSpeak' has a point.

Exceptshe has a very different point of view on another thread do either this post was made in jesr but backfired or she's been converted since.

happychops · 15/09/2022 07:31

i’m glad we are all different, it makes the world
a more interesting place. What’s wrong with people being who they want to be and wanting to express their grief/queue for 30 hours? It’s not for me but good luck to those who want to. Tolerance and kindness towards others costs us nothing.

LaDamaDeElche · 15/09/2022 07:53

It was the same when Diana died, possibly worse, and more worldwide. I think these things trigger something in a lot of people and really strong emotions just take over. I don't care one way or another about the Royal family and spend zero time thinking about them normally, but I felt a bit upset when I heard the news, even got sucked in to watching the same loop of stuff on the news for a good few hours. I have no idea why I felt like that - maybe homesick because I live abroad, possibly stirred up feelings about the people I've lost in my own life or could be a sense of losing something that had just always been there during my lifetime...not sure really. For people who actually love the Queen and all the pomp an pageantry, it must feel like a big loss. I can only compare it in my mind to when River Phoenix died, I was a young teen and absolutely devastated! Cried for days!

venus7 · 15/09/2022 09:11

Bukhara · 13/09/2022 18:31

Yes, a definite strain of royal demise-inspired lunacy has emerged, but seems also to be in some vague way related to end of empire and to Brexit — sort of ‘Yes, we may no longer have an empire, have voted to make our country increasingly irrelevant and isolated off the back of an internal Tory squabble, and be governed by the venal, unqualified and incompetent, but by God, we do royal death ceremonial well!’

Well put, and completely correct. It all seems a disconnect from reality, a loss of self respect giving way to showing off instead.

Hagpie · 15/09/2022 09:41

I feel like some people will be upset as with any celebrity dies but to pass it off as national mourning? To cancel people’s medical appointments and other people’s funerals? How dare they! It’s not a tragedy she was 96 fgs!

Normally quite apathetic, it makes me think about how she was seen an harmless old lady but really she sat at the head of one of the most evil families to have ever lived. Even if she didn’t personally order people murdered she wore her blood diamonds and other stolen items with pride! Disgraceful! I’m afraid you can’t discuss the end of an era or the history of a family and only take the good bits and shoving it down our throats is making some of us think about all of it. Her son (not the nonce she defended, the other one) Charles isn’t going to quite charm people like his mum when he has a reputation for beating up his staff when things don’t go his way and for throwing temper tantrums. I don’t think republicans have much work to do. I say let the man baby King show us what royalty has always been, reverse the pretend OTT mourning and give people their appointments back and try to keep a straight face when we see these weirdos on TV spend 30 hours waiting to view a stranger’s coffin. We have lost our minds.

Diverseopinions · 15/09/2022 09:51

I think there has to be originality involved for it to be possible to say there is a genuine wish to show off our pageantry. The mourning services simply follow an age old formula and pattern. This is what people in other countries find so fascinating about our royal rituals - we continue with what went before.

To read in to this a kind of intention, desire to compensate and a self-consciousness is equal, in my estimation, to saying army drills and marches on celebration days are like the army/navy realising they are, numerically, a reduced force and wanting to compensate by going out on horseback with extra shiny buttons and big plumed hats.

I think an analogy between royalty and armed forces is an apt one. Both have no real say, in where they are deployed and in which cause. Governments decide the actions of Britain overseas, for instance. For me, the answer if you don't like things, is to get politically involved and help your local party to garner support and then change some policies in the country. There is division in Britain, and inequality, but I look to politicians to reduce it - not the monarch.

LoveLifeBeHappy · 15/09/2022 10:58

I think it's time the Monarchy let go of the commonwealth nations. It's time to move away from our horrible colonial past which no one ever talks about. In 2022, something like that shouldn't exist anymore. Time to move on.

RIP the Queen, she tried her best to make amends.

VerbenaGirl · 15/09/2022 11:43

It's yet another thing to add to all that the last two and a half years (plus) has thrown at us - Brexit, Covid, Government breakdown, NHS shortfalls, funding squeeze on education, energy cost rises, cost of living crisis... Inevitable that it will push some people over the edge.

somewhereovertherain · 15/09/2022 11:47

Same as when Diana died, it's nuts but probably also explains why the UK is as fucked up as it is.

Maybe Charles can dissolve parliament and we can get rid of the current system.

Ti

somewhereovertherain · 15/09/2022 11:50

Hopefully, by the end of Charles's reign, we will have an Independent Scotland and United Ireland.

xmaswiththeinlaws · 15/09/2022 13:13

Last week I was initially slightly concerned as to how things might pan out with people's reactions. I was a bit worried some people might start rioting objecting to a new King. I'm pleased that hasn't happened so far. I do find other people's extreme reactions difficult to get my head round sometimes, like queuing for hours on end. haven't people got jobs and other commitments to attend to?

Diverseopinions · 15/09/2022 19:41

The Royal Family set a good example of not being pushed over the edge. They soldier on. I read about Prince Philip's childhood and it wasn't an easy one. I feel that thinking of the Queen doing her duty and seeing the other royals doing the job with courage and stoicism tends to make people decide not to haywire, when problems loom.

The continuity and constancy of this week's ceremonies tend to affirm the quiet power of 'keeping calm and carrying on'. We read a lot about the wartime spirit. Well Princess Elizabeth was there - in London. Her death reminds people of that. My parents were in London during WW2. They'd see atrocities, but carried on. I find that times like these bring about a sense of calm and renewed determination to do one's best.

Some people find the Queen an inspiration and a strength.

RedheadIreland · 15/09/2022 21:23

Not English so this is all quite interesting to observe from a relative distance, over the water, but I am finding it a bit hard to understand the need of so many people to grieve or mourn for someone they have never met, I can't really work out how she has impacted the day to day lives ofost people. yes it's sad that someone has died but really is it going to impact a normal family in some massive way? Genuinely intrigued by it all, was trying to work out if we would have an equivalent reaction for someone and came up empty 🤔 it is interesting to see the drama of it all with the family etc