To feel this isn’t appropriate?

[Acrosstheseas]

I was speaking to someone I don’t know very well, only an acquaintance. But she shocked me when she told me this.
She said her and her husband have a girlfriend they share and they’ve explained to their young children that some relationships include more than 2 people…

I’m trying hard not to be judgemental, but does anyone else find this inappropriate?

If you think that having friends over for lunch is the same as having a shared fuck buddy hanging around your house, both you and your three year old have much bigger problems.

It's about love. Why is it not ok to love others? Actively what the general assumption here is that this person has shared anything about their sex life with a stranger. They haven't

You don't know anyone is in love in this scenario. You know there is sex though.

they have absolutely shared about their sex life with a near stranger. They clearly have issues with boundaries.

Sorry? What a ridiculous comment. You can't consent to someone else's relationship. My dad didn't need to get my consent when he started seeing his now wife. Sure, getting someone's opinion maybe, but don't start blurring the lines with requiring consent in a sexual nature and requiring consent for everything that goes on around you in life.

Why would any parent need to share details of their relationships with their children?

Could it be that those we form relationships with become part of our lives and so are introduced to our families? Why would it be any different for someone who’s polyamorous?

No I totally agree with you. Sorry if that didn't come across in my comment

OK consent and peer pressure then... it would be the same if it were 1 other person or 2 other people.

I know that. And its a problem. Parents move in new people and expect kids to just put up with it, in fact to be happy about it. Kids have no choice but to live with their parents choices. It sucks.

But I was responding to a pp saying "as long as everyone is consenting its all good". Well, maybe it isn't.

Sorry, according to who? As someone who has been in many same sex relationships I absolutely do not find that offensive. It's a totally fair argument and gets people thinking. Stop finding things to be offended about.

It's entirely up to them how they conduct their sex lives. They're doing nothing wrong legally if they're all consenting adults.

I'd mind my own business personally.

Telling their kids they have a girlfriend is not exposing their kids to their sex life any more than a heterosexual couple telling kids mummy and daddy are married is exposing them to their sex life. I don’t think it’s inappropriate at all. The straight nuclear family isn’t the only way to live

BIL/SIL do this.

For the adults I think it's fair enough, inappropriate telling the kids though

No not really as long as the DC are looked after.
All families are different.

It's hardly finding things to be offended about. Im sick of being constantly used as an objectified example.
Sorry you don't understand the problem.

Heterosexual relationships have been used as an example, homosexual relationships have been used as an example, monogamous and polygamous relationships have been used as an example, to ensure everyone can relate. You chose to only see the one that related to you and decided to act as if homosexual people were being singled out.

What? So if someone tells you they’re in a relationship your default is to focus on the sex they are having rather than the feelings they have for someone? How weird.

Yes. We don’t know that there is love. But when someone describes someone as a girlfriend it often implies feelings and not just sex.

If an acquaintance of mine mentioned they had a boyfriend or girlfriend, I’d assume some level of emotional connection or attraction and would not focus on their sex life.

Oh bless your little heart

If a near stranger tells you out of the blue about the shared girlfriend they have with their husband, it is most definitely about sex. It's really very sweet that you think it's not.

And I’m sick of people reducing others who don’t fit their view of what a family or relationship should be down to their sex lives, and claiming any openness about who they form relationships with is the same as oversharing sexual details.

I have first hand experience of it being used to push lesbians and gay men and bi people back into the closet, and the same approach is happening here.

Try to be a less patronising twunt please.

If someone mentions who they’re in a relationship with, it is not an invitation to think about their sex lives.

If you can’t get past that, the creepiness is on you, not the person who won’t be shoved into a closet to spare your blushes.

You're pretending its all about holding hands, and I'm the one who's looking to have my blushes spared?

You want to think about that again?

It’s not just about sex here. I genuinely love my female partner and my husband.

1. No one said it was out of the blue, you made that up to fit your narrative.

1. You are disgustingly condescending. Gross

Did I say JUST about sex? Or did I say it was ridiculous to say it was not about sex?
Your point is only valid in context if you genuinely love them but don't have sex with them.

Do you not have sex in your relationship then? Or is it only polyamorous relationships who aren’t allowed to have sex

I think the bigger question is surely stability. Especially if 2 out of 3 are married.

What happens if the second woman falls pregnant.

What happens if the married couple split up? Will the arrangement still continue?

What happens when the third person doesn't want to be a third person in 2 new couples.

What would happen to the children of the women who wasn't married to the husband.

Our has had a vasectomy so no more children.

The other questions we would question if we ever crossed that bridge, which I doubt we will, because as I said, it’s been 5 years now and works well.