AIBU to let my teenager wear this?

[imnotquitesure]

My 16 year old DD is going to a party and I have bought her this dress. I at first said it was inappropriate but I caved and bought it anyway. I said if it is not appropriate when it arrives I will send it back. She thinks this unfair and I shouldn't control what she wears at 16 because all her friends wear the same. AIBU?

I would be disappointed because my dd already knows from experience that boys read a lot into what you wear and quite frankly would be hesitant about giving the wrong message.
I am sorry but I think dresses like this look desperate, and she is still a minor and under your care for another two years. Why are you afraid to offer a bit of guidance? Especially if you are paying.

Also, to all of you who don't agree with this sort of dress, could you suggest or maybe even attach some alternatives you think your teens would wear? I'm struggling to find a backup she would wear without an argument.

I think it looks like swimwear! Not nice swimwear mind 😅

It's perfectly appropriate as long as she is standing on a street corner in Amsterdam.

If that is a picture from the website it definitely is a dropshipping fast fashion type deal so will likely look different/be horribly cheap

Here you go.

@imnotquitesure my girl is 14 and would prefer something like this 😂
She's got fricking awesome taste IMHO.

Nothing wrong with that dress. My 12-year-old's friends all wear short strappy dresses to parties. It's definitely ok at 16

I wore similar, short dresses when I was that age and my mum was probably horrified but at the same time she also would have been the same at that age.
I think as some previous posters have said, just make her aware that she will attract attention and unfortunately that's what happens so maybe prepare her a bit for that.
A couple of alternatives that she might wear but don't have the cutout in the middle:

www.boohoo.com/florence-satin-cowl-neck-bodycon-dress/DZZ17224-105-16.html

www.prettylittlething.com/black-strappy-ruched-side-bodycon-dress.html

Something along these lines might work. Great back, but covered. Looks great:

www.shein.co.uk/Lace-Trim-Backless-Cut-out-Dress-p-10231651-cat-1727.html?url_from=ukadplasw2203113222379039M_GPM&cid=16749342232&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=CjwKCAjwsfuYBhAZEiwA5a6CDMlBDgCzTj-_JupPCvgNxg2xK8pR5j2QkIBjIZ04esXH7RpluOipOBoCBYcQAvD_BwE

@Aubriella is that from the 'Target Prairie Dress' thing doing the internet rounds a couple of years back 😂
That was hilarious.

Could she be placated with an electric blue bandage dress instead? Just a touch more class, less cut outs/opportunity for wardrobe malfunction and more sturdy in general.

I was thinking this kind of thing?!

Im trying to raise my daughter to be confident in her mind and body and i wouldn't have a problem in her wearing this. Why shouldn't our girls wear what they like for fear of men leaching over them!
Lets teach our boys boundaries, and what is appropriate instead of laying the responsibility at the door of these young girls.
Lets face it , its a difficult world to grow up in these days.
Lets give our kids confidence to be themselves!!

Yep, sadly it's what a lot of teen girls wear out. I am having constant arguments with my 15 year old about her "stripper" attire 🙄

You are not comfortable with her choice at all, so compromise. Yes it can be low, but it can't be low and cut out and short. It is too much.

With my dds we sat down and compared styles and I asked them which ones would command respect, which ones would command a sense of intelligence or confidence. Which one would they avoid and why. Which one would they like to be?

I would be asking why your dd wants to wear that kind of dress. Is there a boy she likes or do her friends dress like that and she feels the odd one out. If so, she can still wear strappy dress etc. I wish someone had told me hot pants and bra tops are not a great combination with knee high boots at 16!!!! Julia Roberts is not the best look as a school girl.

I'm afraid there's no way I would allow my 16 year old daughter to go out dressed like that.

She might were things like that when she's an adult and has her own apartment but that's up to her, as an adult. A child of 16 shouldn't be wearing that IMO it looks like something someone might wear dancing on a pole.

It’s the whole boob thing on display that I struggle with! One of mine loved this sort of thing at that age and I hated it. Thankfully her sister was more like me and lived in jeans.

Yes exactly.

As nice as that is, boys and men do not automatically abide by our girl rules and are likely to see her as fair game. Potentially much older than she is, and assume she can handle herself wearing that. And maybe she can.

For me this is not about 'confidence' it is about self respect. You don't need to have everything out on display to look amazing, be attractive and look gorgeous.
It looks incredibly cheap, and even the loveliest of young girls are going to struggle to make it look anything else.

I don’t know what am I reading? “You can’t stop her”? I mean… Parents can. I don’t know how this dress looks in reality, so my decision would be based on that. But I absolutely CAN refuse my daughter to wear inappropriate dress if it looks so, because I’m a parent.

If the party is with other 16 year olds, then it shouldn't be an issue. But if it's clubbing somewhere with adult men who might think she is older than 16, then not so great.
It's not that I think any woman is "asking for it" because of her style of dress, but that an outfit can make a girl look older and more worldly than she actually is. If your DD isn't up to seeing off chancers, who think they are dealing with an adult woman, then maybe she'd be better off in something else. I know plenty of 16 year olds who are perfectly capable of dealing with the sort of attention this dress might attract, but for a quiet, shy inexperienced girl, it might be a bit much.

At least it won't look like it does in that photo given it's so heavily photoshopped
!

Something like this? The dress is nice but can tell from the photo will be shite quality won't look like how it does in the picture.

That dress is vile.